<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[yanville, after curfew]]></title><description><![CDATA[screenwriting cone drills]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Aq30!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F60f9a384-08c3-40ba-8d61-d924ef8dea0c_1280x1280.png</url><title>yanville, after curfew</title><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Mon, 06 Apr 2026 19:45:00 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[Bryan G. Stevenson]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[yanville@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[yanville@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[yanville@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[yanville@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[How I met the love of my life at the 70mm Dolby IMAX 4DX screening of Sinners]]></title><description><![CDATA[I remember it like it was yesterday.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/how-i-met-the-love-of-my-life-at</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/how-i-met-the-love-of-my-life-at</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 05 May 2025 21:24:58 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg" width="800" height="600" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:600,&quot;width&quot;:800,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:79374,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/i/162922224?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rUzt!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51595c5e-5a91-4673-b814-2a22d913f876_800x600.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>I remember it like it was yesterday.</p><p>In many ways, it felt like the best day of my life.</p><p>I pulled up to the theater, and quickly double checked my phone to make sure I had the digital ticket cued up in my Apple Wallet. I was already pretty annoyed because I had a long week, running tons of errands around town and really wasn&#8217;t in the mood to deal with anybody. I just wanted to sit down, maybe get some popcorn and be taken away by a big screen spectacle. One that I had been waiting for awhile to see.</p><p>But then I saw her. She had just gotten her concessions. She walked off and the graceful bounce of her head of hair caught my eye as she bended around the corner. I only caught the side profile of her face, but it was something about the way she was walking. Straight elegance, bro. I&#8217;m not gonna lie, I paced backwards just to see what theater she was going into.</p><p>And yup, it was the same thing I was going to see. The theater clearly marked &#8220;Sinners in 70mm&#8221;.</p><p>And I&#8217;m thinking to myself, &#8220;damn, is she alone? What kinda person pulls up to see the biggest movie of the year by themselves. And in pristine 70mm projection with surround sound, no less?&#8221;</p><p>And then I looked down at my ticket, and chuckled internally. <em><strong>I</strong></em> was that kind of person. Here I was, all alone, trying my hardest to be on some cinephile shit. Can&#8217;t fault her for doing the same.</p><p>I got my popcorn, courtesy cup of water and then tapped my cargo pocket, just to make sure the peach rings I brought from home were still there.</p><p>Shuffling into the theater, I was a little late so the lights were already down. I had to &#8220;scuse me, scuse me&#8221; my way past some folks before I plopped down into my seat. And then I looked to my left and there she was, on the opposite side of the row. She glanced over at the commotion I was making, and I couldn&#8217;t tell if she saw me. But damn, I thought: You mean to tell me she <em>also</em> likes the 5th row up from the walkway? Prime viewing distance? Phew. Play it cool, bro, I told myself. Just chill, it means nothing.</p><p>And then, the movie came on. My excitement shifted to the story unfolding in front of me.</p><p>Yet, throughout the movie, I found myself glancing over at her, especially during the scenes where they were driving past the cotton fields, where the bright white backlight of the screen created just enough illumination to see her face more clearly. She was super super lightskin. Like, I&#8217;m talkin&#8217; <em>brightskin</em>. And I thought to myself &#8220;of course, here I go again with this shit.&#8221; But whatever, I was drawn to her. Even through the fast-paced action and under the roar of the thunderous score, I just kept thinking about what she might make of the movie. What did she think about the scene where Stack was talking crazy to Cornbread&#8217;s wife? Shoot, I would never let nobody talk to <em>her</em> like that.</p><div><hr></div><p>As the end credits rolled, I had a lot to think about. What a movie. There were so many messages that I was trying to reconcile and my mind was ablaze with interpretations. It was an experience that really stuck with me, and I had to sit for awhile to process. But then my eye caught her walking across the walkway, and right around the theater corner on her way out. Shorty was on the move.</p><p>I jumped up and left the theater, hoping it wasn&#8217;t too late to make a connection. And then I saw her from behind: slouchy hoodie, baggy pants, white sneakers with a crossbody bag slung around her. Stylish <em>and</em> comfy. But she also was making a beeline for the exit.</p><p>I ran up to her and said &#8220;hey!&#8221;</p><p>She turned around and gave me a smile. A smile of familiarity. In that way where she, at some point over the last 3 hours knew that someone, someone who perhaps could look like me, was aware of her.</p><p>&#8220;What&#8217;d you think?&#8221; I continued.</p><p>She took a long moment to herself to really think about it, and frankly, becuase of this: whatever she was going to say after that, I was already hooked.</p><p>&#8220;Such an interesting film. I felt a bit melancholy, suspense, but ultimately pride. It&#8217;s like we&#8217;re firmly in the era of pop cultural afropessimism.&#8221;</p><p>I was taken aback. That was such an amazing way to put it. I took a deeper look into her eyes, they were kind and squinty. She had a slight smile to her resting listening face and some freckles. Her curly head of hair was large and flowy and I thought damn, she knows what she&#8217;s talking about. I didn&#8217;t say that though.</p><p>&#8220;Wow, yeah. That&#8217;s real.&#8221; I said instead.<br>&#8220;What&#8217;d <em>you</em> think?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I mean, shoot. I felt the exact same way. Ha.&#8221;</p><p>She didn&#8217;t respond to this. I kept going:</p><p>&#8220;Funny at times. Full of so many messages.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah. I agree.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Whole lot of talk of eating pussy in it too, right?? Uh haha!&#8221;</p><p>That was like pulling from deep, but to my surprise: she didn&#8217;t leave me hanging.</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s right! Shout out to the real eaters.&#8221; she said.</p><p>Damn. Was she the one?</p><p>After that, we exchanged names and then talked more about the acting, the camerawork, just all the little technical details. It was amazing, I felt like we were totally on the same page about everything. Almost like we should&#8217;ve gone to see it together. Before long, we were sitting down on a bench by the exit, just getting lost in comparing notes on all of our favorite classic movies from childhood, and even dishing about movies that we both hated. It was amazing. I felt an immediate connection. I was so glad I chose to go see this showing at this time.</p><p>Then, there was a knock at the door of the theater exit. You know how people gather around the outside of the theater and just talk about the movie. There was a group of white folks standing just otuside, and the one knocking was a white girl and she was like bouncing up and down holding her thigh, like she needed to go to the bathroom real bad.</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s open!&#8221; me and my new crush yelled simultaneously. </p><p>We smiled at each other afterwards.</p><p>&#8220;You gotta let me in!&#8221; The girl yelled back, gesturing like her hands were too busy to just pry the door open.<br>&#8220;Huh?&#8221; my crush said.<br>&#8220;I need you to open it!&#8221; the white girl responded.<br>&#8220;Uh, okay.&#8221;</p><p>My crush got up from the bench we were sitting at and walked to the door. This part was confusing as hell, but whatever. Some people just gotta go when they gotta go, I guess? As long as it didn&#8217;t mess up our vibe. But, at that point I realized I was missing something. I had been so preoccupied by our conversation that I checked my pockets and realized I didn&#8217;t have my phone. I had remembered leaving it in the cupholder of the theater. Fuck!</p><p>&#8220;Yo! I left my phone in the theater, but I wanna continue this discussion! I&#8217;ll be right back,&#8221; I yelled to my crush as she was approaching the door.</p><p>She looked back at me, with those kind eyes of hers. And with a deep understanding: she smiled and nodded.</p><p>I ran as fast as I could. The theater employees were already cleaning up the trash and loose popcorn from each row when I came back in. I went up to the 5th row and saw my phone exactly where I left it.</p><p>&#8220;Scuse me, bro.&#8221;</p><p>The employee was a black dude in his late 20s, and weirdly: I could feel his eyes on me. He looked at me for a second and we made eye contact for a little while longer than I expected to.</p><p>&#8220;Alright now,&#8221; I said.<br>&#8220;Alright. Be safe.&#8221; he responded.</p><p>When I walked back out, there she was. Still sitting on the bench by the exit, patiently waiting to continue our conversation. Man, what more could I ask for from today? I sat down, this time a little closer to her (you feel me?) and let out a deep sigh.</p><p>&#8220;Shit, I was so busy trying to get at you that I almost forgot my phone in there.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, so you like me, huh?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, you cool or whatever.&#8221;</p><p>She chuckled.</p><p>&#8220;I think you&#8217;re cool, too. We should keep hanging out.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hell yeah.&#8221; I responded.</p><p>Hahaha! It was on. Impromptu movie date AFTER the movie.</p><p>&#8220;Everything work out with ol&#8217; girl? She ain&#8217;t know what to do haha.&#8221; I asked her.<br>&#8220;Oh yeah, I got her all situated.&#8221;<br>&#8220;These white folks something else.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, no. She was actually really cool. Some people just struggle with communication and so I figured I&#8217;d help her out. You know? We all need to help out our fellow citizen. Everyone&#8217;s longing for something.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I mean, yeah. But. She couldn&#8217;t have just opened the door like a damn grown up?&#8221;</p><p>I laughed. But she looked away, and shrugged at this notion. Then she pointed at my pants.</p><p>&#8220;What, you got drugs on you?&#8221;</p><p>I looked down, and because of the way we were sitting, the peach rings in my cargo pocket were all bulging and whatnot. I blushed a little. But then I pulled them out of the pocket and showed her the gas station packaging.</p><p>&#8220;Home remedies, you feel me? Gotta keep them evil spirits away.&#8221;</p><p>She responded quickly:</p><p>&#8220;Or them prices down! They&#8217;ll charge you 3 times that at concessions.&#8221;<br>&#8220;See, I like that. You got some sense about you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh wow, that&#8217;s a new one. I&#8217;ve never been told that before.&#8221;</p><p>She was looking right into my eyes when she said that. It didn&#8217;t matter that I wasn&#8217;t sure if it was sarcasm or not. I knew that we were vibing on a different level now.</p><p>I looked down to rip open the packaging, but I didn&#8217;t quite get it on my first try. She laughed at me, and I could feel her gaze. I ripped it open finally and then looked back up at her, and in the smoothest voice I could muster I said:</p><p>&#8220;You want some?&#8221;</p><p>She looked back at me. And you&#8217;ll have to bear with me because that&#8217;s where the the memory of that day starts to get a little hazy. But thinking back now and writing this, I actually remember she had some drool forming at the edge of her mouth when I said that. I remember thinking &#8220;whoa, that&#8217;s kinda weird&#8221; but I was just so in the moment. We were locked in. She looked back at me, drool dripping down her chin and with a sly smile she said:</p><p>&#8220;Oh, I <em>definitely</em> want some.&#8221;</p><p>She leaned over and&#8212;you know what, that&#8217;s when everything started to get hazy, and I start to forget certain details, but just know that, at that moment: </p><p>Our connection was solidified.</p><p>And yeah, the rest is history. We went off into the night after that and just kept hanging out. Ever since that day, it&#8217;s been like a date that just never ended. One hell of a time, I&#8217;d say. All because of our love for the movies.</p><p>And so as I sit here writing this, reminiscing, I&#8217;m just thankful that I met her. That we shared so much, so quickly. She&#8217;s in the other room right this very moment. </p><p>But yeah, go see <em>Sinners</em>, y&#8217;all. I had a great time.</p><p>All I know now is: it&#8217;s late. The sun is about to come up as I write this.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:189981,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/i/162922224?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VVOh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00241d01-f198-4c90-b2ac-c06d2f677aa1_7922x390.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Build god, then we'll talk]]></title><description><![CDATA[On the corner of 4th and Fremont. It's night time.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/build-god-then-well-talk</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/build-god-then-well-talk</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 23 Feb 2025 23:56:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg" width="728" height="433.16" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:833,&quot;width&quot;:1400,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:728,&quot;bytes&quot;:357055,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/i/157769615?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!U04g!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F310d6a7c-4635-4d1f-81f9-5e0ae544892c_1400x833.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>On the corner of 4th and Fremont. It&#8217;s night time. We open to a fish eye shot of the street corner, and a single car darts by the building in question: a substandard high rise motel, only appealing from the perspective that you would find it totally unappealing.</p><p>Match cut of the same shot but now it&#8217;s daytime.</p><p>We move to a few strangers walking down the adjecent sidewalk. Right next to the motel, there&#8217;s a catholic church. Across from the motel, a deli. The front door of the church opens and we follow one of the priests down the street and he looks at the dilapidated motel and completely scoffs. An eyesore to his religious practice. He walks into the deli and from the outside we see him ordering a sandwich. At the same time, out of the deli comes a patron, biting into a sandwich.</p><p>It&#8217;s a young-ish man, about 35, wearing a business suit and some thick-rimmed glasses. He looks put together, if not for the sloppy haste with which he flails about the crosswalk. More on him later. But for now, we take the long view on him, like we&#8217;re watching him cross from a perch above the street. It&#8217;s because we are: a long shot from the 5th floor of the motel situates us with one of the maids, cleaning a room. She sees the man and yells at the 3 other maids in the room with her.</p><p>&#8220;He&#8217;s coming back!!&#8221;</p><p>We&#8217;re on the inside of one of the rooms and &#8220;not too shabby&#8221; is one of the last ways you would describe this place. In fact, it is very shabby. The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde. The maids, looking for any of the man&#8217;s loose belongings he might not miss, stop searching immediately and leave the room. One of them clutches a few bills in her hand as the rest do their best to make it seem like no one had ever been there. Not diffcult, since the room was already completely tore up with loose clothes and shaving cream bottles and paraphernalia all over the place. One of the most egregious decorations is the 3-day old sandwich just sitting on the nightstand: it&#8217;s made a habit of decomposing right before our very eyes.</p><p>The door flings open, almost cartoonishly. It&#8217;s the man in the suit. He hops on the bed, puts the sandwich he&#8217;s currenly eating on the nightstand, right next to the sandwich that&#8217;s already there. He starts texting furiously and then tosses his phone aside. Before long, he falls alseep and we frame his face from the side where the window light is coming from.</p><p>Match cut of the same shot but now it&#8217;s nighttime. He&#8217;s still asleep.</p><p>There&#8217;s a knock at the door. The man wakes up in a hurry, and flings the door open. Standing at the door is a woman with a long leather trenchcoat, smiling at him with seductive eyes.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m here for the lawyer.&#8221;</p><p>He <em>escorts</em> her into the room and slams the door shut. He takes one look at her and tells her to do a 360.</p><p>&#8220;You must be the virgin.&#8221;</p><p>She smiles and then drops the leather coat. She&#8217;s wearing a nicely contrasted set of purple and black lingerie. Tucked in one part of the breast cup is a gold-plated rosary. She&#8217;s trembling but maintaining her confident facade. She walks up to him and kisses him on the neck.</p><p>He tosses her on the bed, they shed each other&#8217;s clothes off and they go at it for the next hour. There&#8217;s some role play involved, mostly to spare her moments to catch her breath. But for the most part, it&#8217;s straight to the point. A wonderful caricature of intimacy.</p><p>In the moments after, she lays on his bare chest. She looks up at him.</p><p>&#8220;You make sure you do what I asked.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Which was that again?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Fuck you. I need that job at the firm.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hah. You got it. You&#8217;ll be in there by Monday.&#8221;</p><p>The phone rings and the caller ID says &#8220;The Mrs.&#8221; The lawyer answers and immediately puts on a jovial voice. His wife&#8217;s voice comes through muffled with the voice effect of a chipmunk, but we can tell she&#8217;s angry. The lawyer is poised, and answers all her questions with haste and confidence.</p><p>&#8220;Yes, of course&#8230;<br>Yes, of course&#8230;<br>I know&#8230;<br>Stop worrying&#8230;<br>Yes, it&#8217;s a woman&#8230;<br>Yup, she&#8217;s here with me. It&#8217;s strictly business. We just finished up.&#8221;</p><p>The voice coming out of the phone yells one last time and the layer holds the phone at a distance from his ear. The phone clicks. He looks over at the former virgin. And it&#8217;s at this moment, the moonlight streaming in from the window perfectly backlights his unknowable expression.</p><p>&#8220;I mean, it&#8217;s not like she&#8217;s leaving me or anything.&#8221;</p><p>What a wonderful caricature of intimacy.</p><p>The girl looks at him, ashamed. She watches as he slides on a bright gold rolex, and observes the fine italian cut of the suit laying there in a chair. This dude&#8217;s got money, and he knows it.</p><p>We move to a high angle of the room, like god&#8217;s security footage of the dilapidated room. In sped-up motion, like hitting fast foward on a VHS, the guy mozies around the room and put on his clothes. But: The girl stays in normal motion. She&#8217;s stuck in time, as the guy moves around her. We click him back into normal speed as he approaches the door. He steps out and winks at her on the way out.</p><p>She sighs.</p><p>Shaking her head, she pull out a compact mirror from her purse. She fixes her face when&#8212;</p><p>DMMM-DMM-DMM-DMMMMH!</p><p>There&#8217;s a loud knock at the door and the girl fumbles her purse and all her belongings fall out. She kneels down, but before she can pick up everything the door swings open. It&#8217;s not the lawyer: It&#8217;s a cop and he steps into the room, right up on her.</p><p>The girl trembles, looking up at him.</p><p>&#8220;Oh fuck.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Someone told me you were in here doing something unlawful. Something I wouldn't approve of.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Officer, I don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;re talking about.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I think you do.&#8221;</p><p>He walks even closer up to her.</p><p>&#8220;What&#8217;s stopping me from taking you to jail right now?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Officer, please.&#8221;</p><p>Their eyes meet and the angle of shots as we cut between them is extreme. We&#8217;re looking all the way up at him like his eyes are at the top of the mountain. And we&#8217;re looking down at her like her eyes are at the bottom of one.</p><p>He begins to unzip his pants. We&#8217;re close on her as she takes a deep breath, staying on her knees.</p><p>The camera flies past her face and through the window again and we peer out to the street level again. We see two cars: one turning prematurely, swipes another car. BAM! A terrible crash. One of the cars tumbles over several times.</p><p>But inside this motel room, the two people are totally unaware. Nothing from the outside world gets in, and nothing gets out. What a wonderful caricature of intimacy.</p><div><hr></div><p>Hours laters, the motel room is empty. Our camera scans the room, in a series of shots. There are still moldy sandwiches, loose clothes and grime everywhere. It&#8217;s an ugly scene. None of anyone&#8217;s favorite things. There are certainly no raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses. The room steams with the stench of infidelity and bodily exchange. We go to a close up of the sheets, and there are stains everywhere&#8230;. and then track down beneath the bed. Roaches scurry everywhere across the floor.</p><p>Off in the corner, the TV is on. It flickers with a local news program as we pull out of the window to the room and settle back into the fish eye shot of the corner motel we started with.</p><p>Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[U Remind Me (Kidz Bop Version)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Sunset on a city block.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/u-remind-me-kidz-bop-version</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/u-remind-me-kidz-bop-version</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 08 Nov 2024 23:17:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b4d920f1-a44d-4a01-84aa-425b34003eab_2300x1742.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png" width="728" height="546.5" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1093,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:728,&quot;bytes&quot;:5019199,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y2KT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9987a43c-0c3b-4f10-85cf-d49f04eec076_3837x2880.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Sunset on a city block.</p><p>A young black boy, no more than 13, steps up onto the curb. We get the close up of his bejeweled timbs as he centers himself on the sidewalk. Pan up and: He&#8217;s wearing a brown kufi on top of a white wave cap, way too big leather jeans and a wife beater. A really outlandish studded belt is holding all of this together. He turns to camera:</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[Intro] <br>Yo, I ain't seen you in a minute<br>But I got somethin' to tell you<br>Listen</strong></p></div><p>Right arm out, left arm out. Head to the sky. Then, a spin. He takes off. We&#8217;re moving down the sidewalk now, trying to keep up:</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[Verse 1]<br>See, the thing about you that caught my eye<br>Is the same thing that makes me change my mind</strong></p></div><p>He approaches a young girl with curly hair around the same age as him, she&#8217;s impossibly light skin&#8230; the highest of yellows. She&#8217;s posted up against the mailbox. She dons a bashful smile as he approaches. Close up on her, looking right into cam. Cut to a close up on the boy also looking into camera, meeting her gaze. Back to her. Then: A FLASH CUT&#8230; a really quick close up shot of another similarly high yellow young girl with straighter hair and different face pops up and then disappears.</p><p>The young boy recoils. He keeps walking.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Kinda hard to explain, but girl, I'll try<br>You need to sit down, this may take a while</strong></p></div><p>Another pretty young girl, this time of a dark complexion is walking down the street in the opposite direction. He stops her in her tracks, pop-locks directly in front of her, then does a smooth glide in a full circle around her.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>See, this girl, she sort of looks just like you<br>She even smiles just the way you do</strong></p></div><p>She stands there blushing, watching him go. She&#8217;s hoping to catch his eyes, but he&#8217;s looking down at his feet the whole time. His glide takes him back around to the front of her. He looks up, catches her eye and FLASH: that same shot of the same girl from before. He shudders, then looks back down at his feet.</p><p>He caresses her chin with an outstretched arm and keeps on walking.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>So innocent, she seemed, but I was fooled<br>I'm reminded when I look at you</strong></p></div><p>We&#8217;re at the corner now. He grabs a hold of the streetlight and swings around it. His muscles are still developing so this is a little sloppy, but that&#8217;s okay. This sends him into the middle of the empty intersection.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[CHORUS]<br>But you remind me of a girl that I once knew (Oh, oh)</strong></p></div><p>Two spins, then a cartweel type move. Upon landing, another glide, this time in a left to right line. Boom, boom, kack.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>See her face whenever I, I look at you (Whenever I look, I look)</strong></p></div><p>Two fingers pointed at his eyes. Then he sends those same two fingers straight into camera.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>You won't believe all of the things she put me through (Won't believe, won't believe, won't believe it, baby, uh, oh no, no)</strong></p></div><p>Both hands, open palms, bringing them to chest. He mimes agony. Real yearning taking place here.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>This is why I just can't get with you</strong></p></div><p>One more spin. We&#8217;re moving on from the intersection.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[Verse 2]</strong></p></div><p>Back to the sidewalk. This one has a few stores on it.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Thought that she was the one for me<br>'Til I found out she was on her creep</strong></p></div><p>Another young girl, sitting on a bench, writing in her notebook, vibing to music in some wireless over-the-ear headphones; cut off from the world. She&#8217;s of that same light skin delegation, but she&#8217;s wearing her hair up. He sits down next to her on the bench. She looks at him, smiles. She goes back to her notebook.</p><p>He starts his sitdown dance sequence: Shoulder bop, shoulder bop. Both legs kick out, using the bench for arm support. Flip over to other side: two pushups using the bench. Stand up. Glide again: to the other side of the bench. Sits down next to her. Gets all close. She giggles, looks him in the eye.</p><p>Then: the boy stops cold, with a thousand-yard stare.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Ooh, she was sassin' everyone, but me<br>This is why we could never be</strong></p></div><p>The scene shifts: Flashback to a black and white scene. School yard bustling with kids. A picnic table under a tree, off in the corner where no one else is. The young boy is courting the same light skin girl from his flashes before, but she&#8217;s not paying him any mind. She arranges her jewelry on the table in front of her. He pleads with her. We watch from a distance.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[CHORUS]<br>You remind me of a girl that I once knew (No, no no no, no, ah yeah)</strong></p></div><p>He grabs at her hand, she moves it away.</p><p>He puts his hand around her shoulder, she slips it off.</p><p>She turns to look at him with dead eyes, sighs, and then puts a pair of wired headphones in. He pleads again. She doesn&#8217;t say anything back.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>See her face whenever I, I look at you (Wherever I look, I look at you)</strong></p></div><p>Straight to camera close up of the boy, still in black and white. He&#8217;s saying a lot of things, but for some reason we can&#8217;t hear them. His voice is muffled, inaudible, like speaking from underwater.</p><p>She looks away&#8212;pays him no mind, and continues arranging the jewelry in front of her.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>You won't believe all of the things she put me through (She put me through, yeah)</strong></p></div><p>He gets up to leave. But: she grabs him by the hand. With big doting eyes, she tells him to stay. But the headphones stay on. From a distance, we watch them sit together at the table in silence. So close physically, yet worlds apart.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>This is why I just can't get with you (Uh)</strong></p></div><p>Back to present day, back to full color. Close up of the girl on the bench, looking right into camera. She&#8217;s taken her headphones off, and she&#8217;s smiling, looking into the boy&#8217;s eyes. She&#8217;s fiddles, waiting for him to make a move.</p><p>Cut to close up of the boy.</p><p>He gives a half-hearted smile then gets up, and keeps moving down the sidewalk.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[Bridge]</strong></p></div><p>He walks down the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets. Head down. Pensive.</p><p>It begins raining.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>(I know, yeah)<br>I know it's so unfair to you (Ha! It's so unfair)</strong></p></div><p>We get to another empty interscetion. The boy steps out into the the middle of the of it, and it&#8217;s slick&#8212;shiny&#8212;from&nbsp;all the rain. Great for gliding.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>That I relate her ignorance to you (Whoa, oh I)</strong></p></div><p>At his side, he balls his fists. Heavy breathing.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Wish I knew (Wish I knew how to separate the two)</strong></p></div><p>Then: He rips his wife beater right down the middle. Tosses it aside.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>You remind me (You remind me)</strong></p></div><p>Instrumentation fades away and we get only sound effects. Begin shirtless solo dance sequence:</p><p>Head tilt down. Left arm out, right arm out. Now, the first glide&#8212;keeping arms extended.</p><p>Kick up the water from nearby puddle.</p><p>One knee down, other knee down. Alternating knees down to do a kind of slinking motion while arms wiggle in sync. Get up.</p><p>Take off kufi, toss it aside. Just the wave cap now.</p><p>Now, the second glide. This one is a long one. Almost makes it from one stop light to the other.</p><p>Land back at the middle of intersection. Leg kick out. Then a criss-cross hop. Finally, a little double toe tap maneuver. Somehow, the stop lights change in complete sync with each toe tap.</p><p>Now, one long spin. Water droplets flying everywhere from the torque. Like one of them sprinklers.</p><p>And stop.</p><p>Heavy breathing.</p><p>The instrumentation comes back in and&#8212;</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Whoa, whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ah, oh...</strong></p></div><p>From the edges of the frame, new people emerge. The 3 girls he encountered on his walk&#8212;wearing updated bejeweled version of their outfits&#8212;join him in the middle of the intersection.</p><p>A 4-count and then:</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>[CHORUS]<br>You remind me of a girl that I once knew</strong></p></div><p>They all dance. It&#8217;s a synchronized 2-step with a spin and then a double toe tap on the way out. They&#8217;re all in stride.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>See her face whenever I, I look at you (Gotta let you go)</strong></p></div><p>Everyone with arms out. Leg kick, leg kick, now hop twice.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>You won't believe all of the things she put me through (Said I, huh)</strong></p></div><p>Cross step into a shoulder bounce. Everyone spins.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>This is why I just can't get with you (Gotta let you go)</strong></p></div><p>Same thing again. Now from the top&#8212;</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>You remind me of a girl that I once knew (You remind me, of a girl, hey)</strong></p></div><p>Synchronized 2-step with a spin and then a double toe tap on the way out&#8212;</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>See her face whenever I, I look at you (Hey! Oh! Oh! You wouldn't believe it)</strong></p></div><p>Everyone with arms out. Leg kick, leg kick, now hop twice&#8212;</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>You won't believe all of the things she put me through (All the shit she put me through)</strong></p></div><p>Cross step into a shoulder bounce. Everyone spins&#8212;</p><p>But for him: just one last glide. It&#8217;s a big one. As the girls continue their dance, the boy weaves in and out of their formation, maintaining his glide. It&#8217;s beautiful.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>This is why I just can't get with you&#8230;</strong></p></div><p>Everything settles. The streetlights come on.</p><p>2 of the girls leave the scene. The one with the headphones is left.</p><p>The boy falls to his knees. He breaks down into tears. He&#8217;s sobbing.</p><p>The lone girl left, the one from the bench, stays. She walks up to him. She hesitates, then slides her headphones off.</p><p>He looks up, eyes red and full of tears. She reaches down and holds him. Rubs his back.</p><p>He grabs her, holds on tight to her waist and sobs even harder. She comforts him as the tears flow, disappearing into the puddles at her feet.</p><p>The tears settle. </p><p>He stands. They looks into each other&#8217;s eyes and smile. A close up into camera for her. One for him.</p><p>And suddenly: she runs off down the block, giggling. The boy laughs.</p><p>He looks to camera. He winks.</p><p>He does a hop, skip and twiddle dee move and then runs after her.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:463682,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R-QO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F39b2f545-6d66-4bd1-9b6f-7e68ec2343b9_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[am i content as the creator?]]></title><description><![CDATA[EXT. SOMEWHERE WELL BEYOND THE PEARLY GATES]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/am-i-content-as-the-creator</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/am-i-content-as-the-creator</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 20 Sep 2024 19:04:25 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg" width="728" height="465.92" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:384,&quot;width&quot;:600,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:728,&quot;bytes&quot;:47710,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!c7QY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8b1a3a27-71e5-4a10-b8eb-a584b59c9931_600x384.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Somewhere well beyond the pearly gates. Birds chirping in the ambient.</p><p>God sits down and opens His laptop. He takes a big, deep sigh, then pauses and thinks to Himself. Because of His status, we get not just a voiceover but a <s>voiceofGodover</s>&#8212;erm, a <em>Voiceover of God</em>. It is very pronounced, booming and echoing with emphasis:</p><p>&#8220;What is my nature? Who am I, really? Why do they refer to me as Him? What is a <em>Him</em>, after all?&#8221;</p><p>His large hands hover over the keyboard on some Monta Ellis shit. A voice squeaks in from below:</p><p>&#8220;<strong>You</strong> are Him, Sir.&#8221;</p><p>A winged imp creature, like a mix between a gopher and a small child hovers by God&#8217;s ankles. Its doting eyes are large and affectionate, and its fur is like golden silk. It is a fraction of the size of God. God responds, but now with His actual Voice of God, coming from His mouth:</p><p>&#8220;How did you hear that?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, you&#8217;re God. All of us up here can hear Your voice, even when You&#8217;re deep in thought.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Fuck&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh my, God! We can hear that too, Ya know!&#8221;</p><p>God glares at the small creature.</p><p>&#8220;Leave me be for now. I am trying to write.&#8221;</p><p>The winged creature flies downward into the cloud flooring&#8212;POOF!&#8212;disappearing from view.</p><p>God rubs His chin, thinking hard. The <em>Voiceover of God</em> returns:</p><p>&#8220;So I guess I am Him, huh? The&#8212;uh&#8212;The Almighty. Feels weird to say that sometimes.&#8221;</p><p>He begins typing into the laptop, while <em>The Voiceover</em> begins reciting the words out loud as He goes:</p><p>&#8220;They&#8230; call&#8230; me&#8230; the&#8230;. Almighty...&#8221;</p><p>He keeps going.</p><p>&#8220;But&#8230;</p><p>today&#8230;</p><p>I&#8230;</p><p>don&#8217;t&#8230;</p><p>feel&#8230;</p><p>all&#8230;</p><p>that&#8230;</p><p>mighty&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>He stops for moment. He looks at the text written out on screen:</p><pre><code>They call me The Almihgty, byt today I don&#8217;t feel a;; that mighty</code></pre><p><em>The Voiceover</em> pops back in:</p><p>&#8220;Damn, that shit kinda go hard.&#8221;</p><p>The Voiceover chuckles once. And then He, God, chuckles with His actual voice. And then again a little bit louder until He&#8217;s laughing hysterically. The heavens begin rumbling, and things start knocking over. Thunderbolts form. He stabilizes himself, then continues typing. Everything settles. In comes the <em>Voiceover of God </em>again, reciting:</p><p>&#8220;You&#8230; would&#8230; think&#8230; this&#8230; job is&#8230; easy&#8230; but&#8230; it&#8230; can get&#8230; hard&#8230; sometimes. And&#8230; I feel like&#8230; they&#8230; don&#8217;t&#8230; appreciate&#8230; what I be&#8230; cooking&#8230; up&#8230; sometimes&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>A separate, secondary <em>Voiceover of God</em>, more measured in tone, with a little less reverb and echo, pops in:</p><p>&#8220;Wait, that&#8217;s too many sometimes.&#8221;</p><p>He then deletes the second &#8216;sometimes&#8217;. The First Voiceover chimes back:</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s okay if you make typos, brother. Just keep going&#8221;</p><p>The Second Voiceover responds:</p><p>&#8220;Ok, fine. Whatever you say.&#8221;</p><p>He keeps typing. This time, the typing is much swifter and faster. He&#8217;s hitting a stride. The First Voiceover picks us back up, parroting the progression:</p><p>&#8220;They&#8230; call me&#8230; the&#8230; creator&#8230; for a reason. I&#8230; am&#8230; <em>like that</em>. They are&#8230; not&#8230; me. They&#8230; never will&#8230;.be. I&#8230; do this&#8230; for&#8230; real. And&#8230; If you can&#8217;t&#8230;&nbsp; respect that&#8230; your&#8230; whole&#8230; perspective&#8230;. is&#8230;. wack.&#8221;</p><p>God smiles at the text. He&#8217;s rolling now.</p><p>Secondary Voiceover, still more measured:</p><p>&#8220;You stole that from Jay-Z, but that&#8217;s okay. Just keep going.&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover, even more thunderous than before:</p><p>&#8220;Great artists steal! We are all connected.&#8221;</p><p>Secondary Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;But you are the main creator, are you not? You created Jay-Z, so it&#8217;s not the same. You should be able to come up with another Jay-Z. Instead of just&#8230; copying Jay-Z.&#8221;</p><p>First:</p><p>&#8220;Well who&#8217;s to say that it&#8217;s not technically <em>my</em> lyric? I created all things, which therefore create all things.&#8221;</p><p>Second:</p><p>&#8220;Well, hold on. Just because you create something doesn&#8217;t give you rights over what they then create. That&#8217;s insane.&#8221;</p><p>God begins googling. The First Voiceover handles the investigation as he types:</p><p>&#8220;Fair&#8230; Use&#8230; regarding&#8230; creation&#8230; of humans&#8230; and all living things&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>God presses enter. Several links pop up. First Voiceover continues:</p><p>&#8220;From Vox: <em>Fair Use is the hottest topic on the internet. Does it protect everything or nothing? We ask experts&#8212;</em></p><p>&#8212;Click!&#8221;</p><p>God clicks the link. He skims the article.</p><p>Second Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Well, this is from 6 years ago. Can&#8217;t really apply that to your situation.&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Look. It says here that: <em>Fair Use can be defined as repurposing something for non-profit or educational purposes. When fair use comes into play is using a work in a limited capacity to educate and inform, to critique and review. We can talk and teach about the work and hold them up for examples&#8212;</em></p><p>&#8212;That&#8217;s what I&#8217;m trying to do, aren&#8217;t I not?&#8221;</p><p>Second Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know! Are you going to publish this?&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;I didn&#8217;t get that far, obviously. I&#8217;m just spitballing. Where would I publish it?&#8221;</p><p>Second Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t fuckin&#8217; know. But that matters a lot.&#8221;</p><p>They go back and forth:</p><p>&#8220;But that&#8217;s what I&#8217;m saying! I created all things, so I technically published everything I&#8217;ve ever put my mind to. Everything I do falls under this.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, that&#8217;s being a little full of yourself. Not everything was a hit.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Doesn&#8217;t have to catch on. Just has to be something I put real thought into.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You can&#8217;t be serious. Is this conversation a creation then?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Could be.&#8221;</p><p>The little winged imp fairy thing pops up through the cloud floor again, this time holding a small tripod and ring light set up. It clears its throat, but God cuts it off:</p><p>&#8220;No. Not now. Go away. We&#8217;re trying to figure something out.&#8221;</p><p>The imp thing turns on a dime back towards the cloud flooring. Before fully leaving, it stops and turns back around, mustering the courage to say something:</p><p>&#8220;Ummm&#8212;&#8221;</p><p>God, thunderously:</p><p>&#8220;Do you disobey me??&#8221;<br>&#8220;Sorry, God. I don&#8217;t mean to. I just think&#8212;uh&#8212;for the record I think this is a riveting discussion. We all agree down below. You&#8230; Both&#8230; make such great points.&#8221; </p><p>God stops and raises a single eyebrow. The imp thing continues:</p><p>&#8220;We were talking down below and we think you might want to record this back and forth. It could be a way of opening people up to your process. Had you ever thought of that?&#8221;</p><p>God, out loud:</p><p>&#8220;Hmmmmmm.&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover returns:</p><p>&#8220;It would definitely fall under fair use to record a conversation about nature of fair use of all living beings.&#8221;</p><p>Second Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;I mean, yeah.&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;And no one would have any way to dispute it. They would see the discussion coming straight from the source. We could say just about anything and it would fly.&#8221;</p><p>Second Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;I mean, I think we should steer the discussion a little bit.&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Right! Of course. Definitely. But I mean like, once we find a direction... it&#8217;s pretty much anything goes.&#8221;</p><p>Second Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Sure.&#8221;</p><p>On the corner of God&#8217;s humongous desk, a light turns on: the imp thing has turned on the ring light. Up until this point, God&#8217;s head has been tilted up: His gaze upward and pensive and His hand rubbing His chin&#8230; but at this moment we see <em>only</em> His eyes <strong>shift down</strong> towards the small camera set up. It&#8217;s an unnatural pose, for sure. The imp presses record: a red light comes on. The imp gestures for God and His Voiceovers to continue. God&#8217;s eyes dart back to an upward position. The Secondary Voiceover starts it off:</p><p>&#8220;So&#8230; you were saying something about fair use&#8230;. or&#8230; "</p><p>The First Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Right, right. Well, how can I&#8230; you know, fair use&#8230; if I&#8217;m the creator of all creators.</p><p>Like, what is creation? You know? What does it mean? </p><p>What about the guy who created fair use? Is he not my creation?&#8221;</p><p>Secondary Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Ummm. Yeah, true. Those are great questions. Questions we&#8217;re going to get to the bottom in this&#8230; you know. This conversation.&#8221;</p><p>First Voiceover:</p><p>&#8220;Just thinkin about Jay-Z, you know. Great lyricist, right?&#8221;</p><p>The imp thing interjects again:</p><p>&#8220;Uh, sorry. Guys ummm&#8230; it&#8217;s not really flowing. You know, the way it was before.&#8221;</p><p>God, from his actual voice:</p><p>&#8220;Yeah. I felt that, too.&#8221;</p><p>Imp:</p><p>&#8220;Maybe we just&#8230; take it again? From the top?&#8221;</p><p>God:</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, yeah for sure. Umm. Lemme think&#8230; where should we start?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Just jump into it. We&#8217;re recording. And we can edit this, so.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes! Of course! Editing. The power of editing.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yup. So: just let it flow.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, yeah. You&#8217;re right. Are you good on sound?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Um, I think so. Your voice is kinda coming from all directions so it&#8217;s hard to know where to put the mic&#8212;&#8221;<br>&#8220;I get it. I get it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I got you. Alright here we go. I&#8217;ma go for it.&#8221;</p><p>The red light is still on. God takes a deep breath. He returns to the upwardly thinking pose. Then, in His regular voice:</p><p>&#8220;HAHAHA&#8230; HA. Yoooo you know what&#8217;s crazy, bro?&#8221;</p><p>The imp thing rolls its eyes:</p><p>&#8220;Cut!&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png 848w, 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data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/dd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:480667,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!k1Yj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdd6b5bcc-1d31-487d-beb2-24312edb06dd_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[If it wasn't for you medaling kids]]></title><description><![CDATA[A note about millennial superstars and the lights that fixate on them]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/if-it-wasnt-for-you-medaling-kids</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/if-it-wasnt-for-you-medaling-kids</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 14 Aug 2024 13:26:58 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png" width="1224" height="654" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:654,&quot;width&quot;:1224,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:403973,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KzR6!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6e4cadd-8378-4fb6-9efe-3b187e4653a2_1224x654.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>I would never venture so far as to say that an NBA Championship is not as important today as it was previously. Or even that an NBA Championship is not as valuable as a gold medal. A lot is lost in translation.</p><p>But I will say this:</p><p>There is something very obvious about this era, known more colloquially as <em><strong>&#8220;The Era of Playa (player) Empowerment&#8221;</strong></em> and it&#8217;s that the gaze is always going to move with &#8220;them guys&#8221;. Them guys being Steph, KD and Bron: the last of the truly signature shoe-deserving men. The gaze is going to go where the biggest, bestest brands are at. Where the cameras are&#8212;where our attention is. And right now, Jayson Tatum is the most recent American NBA Superstar Champion who deserves the same <strong>kind</strong> of attention but doesn&#8217;t quite fit the bill.</p><p>It is not his time.</p><p>Yet.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png" width="1189" height="896" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:896,&quot;width&quot;:1189,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:409281,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-Q6U!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95bfc04d-204d-40a3-a65a-009bd7ed6281_1189x896.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>And the entitlement of believing that he is <em><strong>supposed</strong></em> to be treated like one of the biggest brands simply because he has ascended and won an NBA championship is a little disingenuous. After all, <em>we</em> are the ones that made these other brands&#8212;the Stephs, the KDs, the Brons, as big as they are. We totally asked for this.</p><p>And so the cameras continue to move with them. The paparazzi goes with the brightest stars, even if the criteria hasn't changed one bit.</p><p>And that&#8217;s what this is all about.</p><p>The lights are the lights.</p><p>And we look where they are trained.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png" width="1456" height="977" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:977,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1211458,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KFOO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ef3bd7-9a6c-4053-b31a-367de408e2c3_1824x1224.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Team USA, this past summer, was led by 3 dudes who literally bled, bruised and battled each other in the public arena for most of the last decade in order to have a chance to call themselves royalty; a chance to call themselves NBA champions. It was a kind of distinct American theater in the mid-to-late 2010s in that we were given multiple fully-fleshed out protagonists to choose to identify with. They were three radically different black american men who seem to all have been unable to say at that point in their young lives just <strong>how</strong> much they loved and enjoyed each other in that moment of competition.</p><p>I mean, we would never let them do such a thing.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png" width="1224" height="699" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:699,&quot;width&quot;:1224,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:405327,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!II0_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc71cf736-245c-47fb-a929-0ec44dccbda5_1224x699.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>But they are each so true to the graciously individualistic generation they are a part of. So much that they fail to see&#8212;like most of us born into this generation&#8212;just how silly those conditions are. Just how unfit our millennial condition is for creating collective meaning. And those conditions have led to the indirect poetry we saw play out on the olympic stage.</p><p>The meaning came in the awkward team up. The ugly stages of collaboration. Swing, swing, swinging the ball around waiting for some other legend to do the vulnerable thing first. Not so much bad basketball as it is bad foreplay.</p><p>The meaning arrived via the wayyyy too late catharsis. Team USA coasting until they can&#8217;t coast no more. Crunch time basketball teamwork nirvana created by the condition of: &#8220;we&#8217;re not blowing this team out by 30 like we should be buuuut also we&#8217;d also very much prefer to not get embarrassed&#8221;. Confusing, but honest.</p><p>The meaning was found in the meta of these guys <em>knowing</em> it&#8217;s a kind of a last dance. In knowing that they covet a &#8220;Last Dance&#8221;-style documentary about this Summer 2024 moment but they also deep down know that the widespread social media coverage IS the documentary. We&#8217;re all watching the historical perspective of this moment in real time. Which sounds physically impossible&#8230; but we are doing it, technologically. Somehow.</p><p>That&#8217;s kind of a thing with <em>us</em>.</p><p>We can&#8217;t wait&#8230; and so we don&#8217;t.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png" width="846" height="570" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:570,&quot;width&quot;:846,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:293754,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vX2D!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0797baf-b2f1-43c9-805f-8ae9969f88be_846x570.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>And so I don&#8217;t want to disparage Tatum, because I think this league and the face of the American throne of basketball will be his in time. He&#8217;s actually that good, and he&#8217;s that fair to the game of basketball. But you can tell that Tatum&#8217;s biggest hold up is that he&#8217;s effectively been chasing ghosts his whole young career. He&#8217;s been punching up, mimicking the things he&#8217;s seen on TV to secure his spot in the rafters, first before any of his peers. He has the ambition of iconography that none of them have, but he&#8217;s neglecting one thing: this league and this sport, at the highest level, is just one, big going away party right now. It&#8217;s going to be a send-off for the next few years. </p><p>The recognition that you&#8217;d like to get for your objectively worldly accomplishments, it ain&#8217;t gonna happen for you, big dawg.</p><p>At least not right now.</p><p>The user-generated, crowd-sourced documentary of the <em>Golden State - Cleveland Cavaliers</em> fallout is still being made and it&#8217;s also being watched in real time, stealing all the eyes.</p><p>Tatum&#8217;s own love of the game has dropped him off to the party way too early, and the party is being MC&#8217;ed by some guys who just won&#8217;t let their portion of the conversation die.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png" width="1456" height="828" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:828,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:829577,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oe8v!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8c324f6-0406-462a-9f4e-3f56e2529b98_1624x924.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>But that era is dying, and the end will be here soon.</p><p>That game against Serbia was an example of this playing out in real time. As was the gold medal game against France. These guys <strong>need</strong> their send off <em>now</em>. It was never about a medal. They need their platform&#8212;their own stage&#8212;to show what they meant to the world. They knew that they <strong>needed</strong> this opportunity to crown their achievement of mid-2010s theater. To crown the collective ambassadorship they pioneered. <a href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-star-players-are-sleeping-around">All-star weekends no longer suffice.</a> These megastars know, deep down, like most of us know, deep down, that the league play of the NBA is an insufficient arena for them to be crowned while they still deserve it, while they&#8217;re all playing incredible individual basketball at such elderly ages.</p><p>And no, not always insufficient in a good way.</p><p>Insufficient because their egos&#8212;their brands&#8212;are in many ways elevated above the leagues accomplishment track. They&#8217;ve achieved basketball immortality through the extra-curricular exposure, through their institutional relatability.</p><p>It&#8217;s too personal now.</p><p>Them 3 guys being at the forefront of the player empowerment era is what caused this prolonged curtain call. I mean, in some ways they ruined the purity of the game. There would be no need for a kind of extremely visible patriotic &#8220;team-up&#8221; if all 3 of them had fully committed to the sin of player autonomy and just teamed up together in league play. Just run the gamut with chips. Engineered a supernova. In some ways, the 2010s of championship contention was a long, flirty, talking stage between black men who truly adored each other but couldn&#8217;t say it. Men who truly wanted a part of each others&#8217; swag but knew they&#8217;d get killed for suggesting as much.</p><p>KD, ever the heart on his sleeve, was the first and most honest to join in on the fray. The first to confess his love; his longing. From it, he netted two championships. He also netted a lot of well-measured vitriol. But: he sleeps well at night. With a Spalding tucked in next to him.</p><p>Steph, the god-fearer, man of faith&#8230; who nested (hid) himself deep within familial structures, on and off the court, to become the guy everyone knew he was supposed to be. The Golden child. You can see it on his face, and in his interactions: he&#8217;s not inherently dangerous as a man&#8230; he doesn&#8217;t know how to be. But within this 94-foot context: he&#8217;s dangerously inevitable. He is the greatness of basketball coddling, personified.</p><p>Lebron: the ideal mogul. The most dominant personality in the history of the sports world, the William Randolph Hearst of this hoop shit. The king. AND the kingmaker. Eternally controlling. Eternally present. Eternally competing. Inadvertently hilarious. He will, long after his days of playing are done, continue to win at the highest level.</p><p>And that&#8217;s the irony. In an era where <em><strong>these</strong></em> guys normalized the individualistic brand, it took the most fleeting, pageant-driven kind of team-up&#8212;a quick summer fling in a French village&#8212;to prop up their immense worth to the sport. It&#8217;s so poetic, it&#8217;s so storybook.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png" width="1078" height="697" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:697,&quot;width&quot;:1078,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:285599,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4aJp!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41ae8750-90df-4966-9204-c674329e6f19_1078x697.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>There is no longer a chance for their individuality to matter to winning on a &#8220;small scale&#8221; like the NBA championship. They can&#8217;t lead teams into 82-game contention alone anymore, let alone diminish their brands in order to be subservient to other, newer systems (<s>plot twist: KD still can.</s>) They had their chance to sacrifice the brand, and they chose up.</p><p>So this is what we&#8217;re all left with.</p><p>A glorious blip of American brilliance, via a once-in-a-four-year competition.</p><p>I&#8217;m thankful. This is what it&#8217;s all about.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png" width="1236" height="711" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:711,&quot;width&quot;:1236,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:382759,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DzqS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff18f00a4-b83e-49b2-9284-276dfea0286c_1236x711.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Like I said, I would never suggest winning an NBA championship isn&#8217;t meaningful anymore.</p><p>But it will take some time to reset the scales, for a lot of us to come back down to earth and remember that creating history is real&#8230; and it is slow. We&#8217;re all a little hungry. A little horny. We&#8217;re all craving the catharsis that we feel we deserve. </p><p>But things will regulate.</p><p>Our millennial legends will fade, and they will be true to us and only us in time.</p><p>But, the point is that: Tatum knows this stuff all too well. His gift and his curse. He was too early for a party that was never going to see him as a rager.</p><p>And I think that&#8217;s his obvious curse. </p><p>In time, he will have to answer for it. It will 100% become his obvious gift.</p><p>Like everything in time, the lights will shift because the eyes will shift. Or, the eyes will shift because the lights will shift.</p><p>Doesn&#8217;t really matter which comes first.</p><p><em><strong>&#8212;bgs</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Proto-tagonist™]]></title><description><![CDATA[John David Washington barges into an office. It&#8217;s his agent&#8217;s. &#8220;Well?&#8221; &#8220;Well what, John?&#8221;]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-proto-tagonist</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-proto-tagonist</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Apr 2024 22:30:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png" width="1456" height="819" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:819,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:2057126,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8dHT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F163ae5f0-0b66-4ee8-aafa-1a7a45856e0a_1920x1080.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><a href="https://resizing.flixster.com/-XZAfHZM39UwaGJIFWKAE8fS0ak=/v3/t/assets/873014_v9_bb.jpg">John David Washington</a> barges into an office. It&#8217;s his agent&#8217;s.</p><p>&#8220;Well?&#8221;<br>&#8220;<em>Well</em> what, John?&#8221;<br>&#8220;You saw the weekend numbers, right?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, they&#8217;re great.&#8221;<br>&#8220;And so you get my point.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I still don&#8217;t understand your point. But I get what you want.&#8221;</p><p>John David sits down in the chair across from his agent&#8217;s desk.</p><p>&#8220;Carven. I need you to find the magic. I need a more open, clear pathway to some&#8230; better leading characters.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You said this last time. I promise you I&#8217;m looking.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Last time I didn&#8217;t have a huge opening weekend and my face plastered on every billboard across town. Something about iron, and striking it&#8212; hot&#8212;or something. What&#8217;s out there? Do something, Carven.&#8221;</p><p>Carven (white, early 40s) sighs, then opens his email inbox on the monitor on his desk. He scrolls through.</p><p>&#8220;I mean: look. You passed up on the Morpheus reboot series. A lot of good stuff in there about sacrifice, but you thought it wasn&#8217;t meaty enough. You also said &#8216;No TV&#8217;. Someone already pitched us an Equalizer prequel thing. You&#8217;re not doing that. Who could blame you?&#8221;</p><p>Carven looks over to John David to double check if that does anything for him. No response.</p><p>&#8220;Star Wars, no. Book of Eli reboot, definitely no. Look, JD. There is some BIG stuff in here, and if I was a betting man I just don&#8217;t think you&#8217;ll be into it. None of these feel like what you told me you&#8217;re looking for. I could read them off but I&#8217;m not sure it&#8217;s even worth our ti&#8212;andddd now you&#8217;re not even listening to me.&#8221;</p><p>John David with a thousand yard stare. The one that&#8217;s made him a star.</p><p>&#8220;Carven. You&#8217;re fired.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Fired?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, fired.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Get a grip, JD. You&#8217;re not firing me.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I am.&#8221;</p><p>The cycles of grief flash before Carven&#8217;s eyes. This isn&#8217;t a joke.</p><p>&#8220;JD, <em>JD</em>.&#8221;</p><p>John David gets up, heading for the door. Carven gets up, too.</p><p>&#8220;Look, look, look. JD. I&#8217;m working here. On your behalf, daily. I have all these guys&#8212;top guys&#8212;some of the best in the biz who KNOW your pedigree. They know how you do&#8212;how do <em>yo thang</em>. That&#8217;s because of me, baby. Who got you the tole of The Protagonist? Who introduced you to Christopher Nolan&#8217;s brother? That&#8217;s me, baby! Take a second here, JD. I KNOW what you&#8217;re asking for, but the landscape needs to produce it first!&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Carven, I&#8217;m not seeing what I want to see. I&#8217;m working. But I&#8217;m not WORKING working. I want Will Smith in Bad Boys 2, Will Smith in Men in Black, man. Not Will Smith in Bagger Vance. I want pops in John Q, pops in Training Day. Not pops in Much Ado About Nothing. I don&#8217;t wanna Ado Nothin&#8217; like that. I want that shot at immortality, man. I want that one role they can remember me by. And I need to find representation who understands this. I&#8217;m sorry.&#8221;</p><p>John David begins to walk out. Carven grabs John David by the wrist. There&#8217;s desperation in his eyeballs:</p><p>&#8220;Okay, okay, okay. I hear you.&#8221;</p><p>John David looks down at the wrist.</p><p>&#8220;JD. Brother. Give me a week. Actually, two weeks. I&#8217;ll show you I can find the kind of leading man, the <em>brotha</em>, that you&#8217;ve been seeking. He&#8217;s somewhere in this town. I know somebody&#8217;s writing him. Just&#8230; give me some time. I&#8217;ll sniff it out. I&#8217;ll find it.&#8221;</p><p>John David doesn&#8217;t budge. Carven, pointing to the walls:</p><p>&#8220;Look. Look.&#8221;</p><p>There are posters all over of John David&#8217;s different roles, evidence of his leading man status: <em>Tenet, The Creator, Amsterdam, Malcolm &amp; Marie, BlacKkKlansman, Beckett</em>. There are set photos from each of these films of him posing next to Carven.</p><p>&#8220;All that we&#8217;ve built together? Come on, JD. My guy. What I&#8217;m hearing you saying is that we have a new challenge ahead of us; one that we got to overcome together. We <strong>got</strong> to get creative. That&#8217;s what I&#8217;m hearing. And guess what? I&#8217;m game for it&#8230;</p><p>In fact, I&#8217;m the guy for it. Just give me a couple weeks, and then you can decide whatever you want.&#8221;</p><p>John David locks eyes with Carven.</p><p>&#8220;You have 3 days.&#8221;</p><p>John David exits. Music plays over as we move into&#8212;</p><div><hr></div><p>Carven running across a crowded intersection, bumping into people. He&#8217;s in a real hurry. The non-diegetic music playing over this part&#8212;and the next several parts&#8212;fully covers up the dialogue and ambient sounds.</p><div><hr></div><p>Carven stumbles into a local coffee shop, out of breath.</p><p>The coffee shop is full of screenwriter hopefuls, tapping away furiously at their keyboards.</p><p>He&#8217;s shouting, and everyone in the coffee shop stops what they&#8217;re doing and turns to see him ask for something. He holds a fat wad of cash in his hand and waves it around. They look around at each other, perplexed. They all begin to slowly shake their heads no. His plea falls on deaf ears, as no one can oblige.</p><p>He hustles out of the cafe.</p><div><hr></div><p>Carven, on the phone, strung out, negotiating with somebody.</p><p>He hangs up, disappointed, dropping the phone from his ear, but then immediately puts a second phone to his other ear.</p><p>While on that call, he answers another call via the first phone. On some Kevin Gates type shit.</p><p>He goes back and forth between the two phones, connected to both ears, getting rejected and alternating his conversations, mixing up his sentiment between calls, but staying locked in&#8230; until both phones simultaneously result in what looks like a resounding no.</p><p>Nothing doing.</p><div><hr></div><p>Carven bursts into the front doors of a rival talent agency. The receptionist at the desk is aghast as he walks briskly past her. Then, Carven bursts through the office door of a black agent in his mid-40s, an old friend. There is still non-diegetic music playing over this, and dialogue isn&#8217;t audible.</p><p>The two agents shake hands and Carven sighs before making a confession. He pleads with the black agent. The black agent laughs out loud as a sort of &#8220;welcome to my world&#8221;.</p><p>The black agent walks up to Carven and pats him on the shoulder, calming him down. There, there. Carven looks up with hope, wide eyes. In a sort of &#8220;so you have something for me?&#8221; way.</p><p>The black agent sits back down and shakes his head dismissively, to the tune of &#8220;oh, no. of course not. I wouldn&#8217;t give that to you even if I had it, silly.&#8221;</p><p>Carven is crestfallen. He sulks out of the office.</p><div><hr></div><p>Carven is back at his desk, tired. </p><p>But then, a burst of energy.</p><p>He has an idea.</p><div><hr></div><p>Early the next morning. Carven <em>still</em> at his desk. He&#8217;s typing furiously.</p><p>He&#8217;s writing it himself.</p><p>His printer spits out a stack of paper and he hands them to his assistant just outside of his office. He stands there chewing his fingernails as she reads it. He hurries her.</p><p>His assistant begins chewing her fingernails as she reads. She glances up at Carven periodically, pacing nearby.</p><p>She finishes. He looks at her with open emotions, ready for a response, but really hoping for a specific one.</p><p>She gives him a &#8220;eh&#8221; face. He throws a tantrum.</p><div><hr></div><p>Carven is back at his desk. He slumps down in the chair.</p><p>Falls asleep.</p><div><hr></div><p>Broad daylight.</p><p>John David walking towards his car, leaving the gym. This sequence has regular sound, no more music overlay.</p><p>Carven walks up to him, strung out, stopping him before he gets to his vehicle.</p><p>&#8220;Heya bud!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Carven.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Look, I won&#8217;t keep you. But I need a couple more days. I think I can crack this thing. But it&#8217;s gonna take some more time. I&#8217;ve been trying, and I&#8217;m close. Please, JD.&#8221;</p><p>John David scoots by, unlocking the door to a really expensive sports car.</p><p>&#8220;Sorry, man. I told you what I want. You still have a day.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Buddy. I&#8217;m begging you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Let me know what you find, Carven. If not, then you know what happens next.&#8221;<br>&#8220;JD. Please.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Good luck&#8230; <em>buddy</em>.&#8221;</p><p>John David gets in the car and pulls off. Through a CRACKED right side mirror, we see Carven stressed out in the middle of the parking lot, rubbing his scalp. John David doesn&#8217;t notice the crack.</p><div><hr></div><p>Inside John David&#8217;s car, he&#8217;s listening to hip-hop music. The car stereo has pristine sound balance.</p><p>Then, an incoming call on the CarPlay system, from a &#8220;Devin&#8221;. John answers to an enthusiastic personality.</p><p>&#8220;J-Dub! What up bruh!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Shit man, ain&#8217;t too much bro. Just left the gym. Trying to figure out what my next move is, you know. But I&#8217;m chillin.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yo. That&#8217;s a bet. I actually wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine. She says that she might have something for you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;The shorty you been telling me about?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Nigga, you know exactly who I&#8217;m talking about.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What she on?&#8221;<br>&#8220;You gotta come and find out man. But as soon as she got it ready, she told me to reach out. She&#8217;s giving you a first look at it. I told her you wanna look at things without&#8230; the uh&#8230; the middle man. You good to come in alone?&#8221;<br>&#8220;You know I am. I&#8217;m on my way.&#8221;</p><p>John David hangs up.</p><div><hr></div><p>John David pries open the doors of a talent agency. The decor feels more and more familiar to us as he enters.</p><p>That&#8217;s because it&#8217;s the same agency that Carven visited. The receptionist at the desk makes googly eyes with John David: he smiles back.</p><p>&#8220;You&#8217;re here to see Devin, I presume?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Right this way.&#8221;</p><div><hr></div><p>John David, opening an office door.</p><p>Across from him as he enters is Devin, sitting behind his desk grinning ear to ear. It&#8217;s the same agent from before. A young, beautiful lady (mid 30s, black) is sitting down in the chair across from the desk, where Carven just was. They both stand and welcome him in.</p><p>Getting a good look at Devin&#8217;s office, it&#8217;s spacious and the view is stunning, with a long, aggressively curved corner window that overlooks the city. Somewhat futuristic.</p><p>&#8220;Yo J-Dub! Ha-haaaa!&#8221;</p><p>John David and Devin give each other a dap and a warm embrace.</p><p>&#8220;This is Asia.&#8221;</p><p>She greets him with a smile:</p><p>&#8220;So good to meet you, John David. I like the leisurely approach.&#8221;</p><p>John David scans his gym clothing. He looks over to Devin who&#8217;s wearing full suit down to a pair of elevated alligator pups, and Asia who is dressed business casual.</p><p>&#8220;Thank you, thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, I won&#8217;t beat around the bush, John David. But I&#8217;ve been writing something that I think you should take a look at. I know your agent isn&#8217;t here, but this couldn&#8217;t wait. You think he&#8217;ll mind?&#8221;</p><p>Devin jumps in to add:</p><p>&#8220;Erm, uh. Asia is a 2-time Emmy winner and she&#8217;s been doing amazing stuff all over town. She has a real voice.&#8221;<br>[To Devin]: &#8220;That&#8217;s what&#8217;s up!&#8221;<br>[Then to Asia] &#8220;And uhhhh. No, I don&#8217;t think he would mind. Not at this point. Let&#8217;s hear it.&#8221;</p><p>Asia takes a deep breath and launches into her pitch as we cut to&#8212;</p><div><hr></div><p>Back in John David&#8217;s car. Music blasting.</p><p>John David is real pensive, but he&#8217;s nodding his head. A glimmer of a smirk bleeds through as he cruises down an LA street with several cars on the road around him. He&#8217;s replaying the high points of the pitch he just heard. </p><p>The car comes to a halt at a traffic light.</p><p>He smiles.</p><p>Using the dial on his car system, he shuffles through his favorite contacts on the car&#8217;s media display: <em>Carven, Pops, Mom</em> and other familiar names pop up in a list. The highlighted cursor lingers on Carven&#8230; but then moves on to &#8220;Pops&#8221;. </p><p>John David takes a deep breath, preparing to call&#8212;</p><p>&#8212;just as:</p><p>In the rear view mirror, John David sees something. A huge accident happening, cars are tumbling and flying, swerving out of the way. And out of the fray emerges another car: A black Audi SUV is SPEEDING in the same direction of traffic, but BACKWARDS. Yup, backwards. The inertia, the physics: it&#8217;s all in reverse.</p><p>His eyes widen and his jaw drops.</p><p>The BACKWARDS-MOVING Audi, windows tinted, is coming up on him, one lane to his right. He turns his head to to look through the side mirror, finally noticing: it&#8217;s CRACKED. He is perplexed for a moment, but quickly refocuses back to the action at hand.</p><p>John David slams on the brakes. The BACKWARDS-MOVING Audi SPEEDS past him, clipping his car but &#8220;healing&#8221; the cracked side mirror back to new. Huh?</p><p>John David, a Hollywood actor, has seen just about everything&#8230; but even he is stunned. Cars all around are pulling over to get out of the fray. He puts on his hazard lights, as the backwards speeding Audi zooms further out of view. </p><div><hr></div><p>He drives ahead, cautiously, hoping to avoid whatever nonsense that was. </p><p>He passes a few more traffic lights when&#8212;</p><p>Up ahead, he sees a silver Saab, motionless and perpendicular in the middle of a lane, stifling the flow of traffic. It&#8217;s pretty banged up.</p><p>The California license plate says &#8220;CARVO4U&#8221;, and John David immediately knows whose car this is. It&#8217;s Carven&#8217;s.</p><div><hr></div><p>John David gets out and walks up to the drivers side of the Saab. He can&#8217;t see in because the windows are tinted.</p><p>John David bangs on the window, trying to get Carven&#8217;s attention. To no avail&#8212;so he flings open the door.</p><p>Only, there&#8217;s no one in the driver&#8217;s seat. There&#8217;s just a melanated crash test dummy, sitting in the passenger&#8217;s seat: A brown-skinned, lifeless figure with the calibration marks on the side of the head, just <em>sitting</em> there with a seatbelt on.</p><p>In the dummy&#8217;s lap is a thick, unbound stack of papers.</p><p>Taped to the steering wheel is another piece of paper. It says: </p><p><strong>GET IN NOW, JD! </strong></p><p>and in parentheses:</p><p><strong>(And PUT ON your seatbelt!)</strong></p><p>John David does exactly that. But, now what? What&#8217;s going on exactly?</p><p>John David doesn&#8217;t see a key in the ignition. So he feels around for it, to no avail.</p><p>He looks over to the stack of papers. In a small courier font on the front of it, it says:</p><div class="pullquote"><p>&#8220;The Proto-tagonist&#8221;</p><p>by John David Washington</p></div><p>It&#8217;s a screenplay.</p><p>Written by him apparently.</p><p>John David&#8217;s eyes widen. </p><p>&#8220;H-h&#8230; huh?&#8221;</p><p>He reaches over to pick up the stack when&#8212;</p><p><strong>BOOOOM!</strong></p><p>An armored Jeep, moving in forward motion, slams RIGHT into the Saab, shattering the windows and causing it to do several flips. John David braces for impact as the car tumbles and tumbles, finally landing upside down.</p><p>The stack of papers scatter everywhere inside the car and out onto the street.</p><p>John David is panicking. He hangs upside down, with shattered glass everywhere around him.</p><p>We see a well-suited man out of focus, walking out of the armored Jeep, and up to the Saab. The man walks closer and closer and through the crunched driver&#8217;s side window we see only feet: a clean pair of alligator brogues.</p><p>John David beckons:</p><p>&#8220;Hey! Call for help!!!&#8221;</p><p>The man leans down to pick up the pages of the screenplay scattered onto the street. He speaks:</p><p>&#8220;I think this is the end of line for you, Carven. Game over.&#8221;</p><p>It&#8217;s Devin. With a sinister look on his face. </p><p>Devin pulls out a lighter and burns the handful of pages clustered in his hand. He tosses them aside in a small fiery heap.</p><p>John David beckons louder.</p><p>&#8220;Hey!!! Hey!! DEVIN!!&#8221;</p><p>Devin stops for a moment:</p><p>&#8220;Oh shit.&#8221;</p><p>Devin gets down low, looking into the car to verify the voice: </p><p>&#8220;Fuck.&#8221;</p><p>The two men lock panicked eyes. John David reaches out to him with his free hand. Devin reaches, but past John David&#8217;s face: he grabs the loose scattered screenplay pages inside the car and collects them.</p><p>&#8220;W-What are you doing? Get me outta here!&#8221;<br>&#8220;What I should have done a long time ago, my brotha. You&#8217;ll understand soon enough.&#8221;</p><p>Devin, backing away with a bulk of the papers collected, gets into the Jeep and drives off. He leaves John David hanging, literally. </p><p>For John David, the adrenaline is wearing off. The blood, rushing to his head. He looks to his right and sees the grim, anti-expression of the crash dummy hanging right next to him. Things start to go blurry.</p><p>He passes out.</p><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED&#8230;</strong></p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:682436,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0eMc!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cee48f0-52b6-4584-831c-e28700f34679_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[It Always Rains In Central Alabama (Official Music Video)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Drum beat with accompanying strings. From high above, we see a group of young men standing on the home base of a baseball diamond in a large grassy area.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/it-always-rains-in-central-alabama</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/it-always-rains-in-central-alabama</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 11 Apr 2024 22:40:57 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b0rq!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbb5cc56f-2d91-4980-98b9-4bb3b96a854b_2921x1834.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b0rq!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbb5cc56f-2d91-4980-98b9-4bb3b96a854b_2921x1834.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b0rq!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbb5cc56f-2d91-4980-98b9-4bb3b96a854b_2921x1834.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b0rq!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbb5cc56f-2d91-4980-98b9-4bb3b96a854b_2921x1834.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b0rq!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbb5cc56f-2d91-4980-98b9-4bb3b96a854b_2921x1834.png 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y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Drum beat with accompanying strings.</p><p>From high above, we see a group of young men standing on the home base of a baseball diamond in a large grassy area. There are 3 of them and they&#8217;re rapping along to a track blasting out of a nearby portable speaker. We pull back and another young man stands by with a reflector. Finally, there&#8217;s one more dude: the one with the camera.</p><p>He&#8217;s tracking back and forth, holding the modest DSLR at calf level, pushing into close to them, then pulling back out.</p><p>He screams with impatience:</p><p>&#8220;More energy!! Let&#8217;s go!&#8221;</p><p>If there were 10 different levels to get to, the 3 performers respond to this by going about a half level up. You could call it a 5.5 at this point.</p><p>&#8220;Aight, cut.&#8221;</p><p>The one with the reflector cuts off the speaker. Everyone takes a pause. Whatever they&#8217;re attempting, it&#8217;s not quite working. The shortest of the three performers, named Wiggs, inquires:</p><p>&#8220;What it&#8217;s lookin like, Ant?&#8221;<br>&#8220;It&#8217;s cool. Um. I&#8217;ma change memory cards and we finna do it again.&#8221;</p><p>^This is Anthony, slim build with glasses, cargo shorts and a colorful fitted on. He fusses with the door on the side of the camera. The skies overhead are a bit grim.</p><p>Phavo, the tallest of the performers, having stepped off the group&#8217;s mark on home base, stands off to the side. He scrolls his phone with one hand, and fiddles with a single loc in his other hand. He pauses, then puts the phone down for a moment to interject:</p><p>&#8220;My question is: why there ain&#8217;t no bitches? The song is kind of about that, you know? We getting bitches, it&#8217;s supposed to be the fun track on the tape, so it can&#8217;t just be us men out here.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony responds quickly:</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s finna be in the next scene. I just gotta think of where we finna do it at.&#8221;<br>&#8220;But I&#8217;m sayin: what&#8217;s the point of <em>this</em> scene, bruh.&#8221;<br>&#8220;We just getting a clean shot of y&#8217;all rapping the lyrics. Need it for the edit. You&#8217;ll see, bruh&#8221;<br>&#8220;Got damn, I hope so. It ain&#8217;t shit out here. I don&#8217;t even play baseball.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony reaches an open palm out to Laron, the one holding the reflector, and the youngest looking of the bunch. Laron adds his two cents in a squeaky voice:</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, and it look like it&#8217;s about to rain.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony rolls his eyes, extending the hand even further towards Laron:</p><p>&#8220;The extra memory card?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh!&#8230; shit. right&#8221;</p><p>Laron taps all his jean pockets, letting go of the reflector for a moment. Almost immediately, a gust of wind picks up the reflector and sends it 20 feet thattaway. Laron runs after it. Phavo keeps thinking out loud:</p><p>&#8220;You know what, bruh. Ain&#8217;t even gon lie, I think we need to rethink this shit. I&#8217;m not seeing the vision.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What then? You got an idea where to shoot it?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Nah, I&#8217;m not even worried about all that. Like he said, it&#8217;s finna rain. So we just gonna use what we got out here and shoot the rest in the crib or some&#8217;n.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know if that&#8217;s gonna look very good, bruh&#8221;<br>&#8220;Stay calm, I&#8217;ma call some people&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m calm, bruh&#8221;<br>&#8220;Aight then.&#8221;</p><p>Laron is back. He hands over the extra memory card, out of breath:</p><p>&#8220;Here you go&#8221;</p><p>Anthony switches them out.</p><p>The middle height performer&#8217;s name is D-way. He throws his two cents in, somewhat nervously, shifting his gaze between everyone there:</p><p>&#8220;Ay. So. What if the the whole thing is we started out here&#8212;like what we was just doin&#8212;for the first part of the song&#8212;then we regrouped&#8212;like Vo sayin&#8212;BUT made some calls and then brought all the bitches back out here when its dark out to turn this shit up&#8212;for the last part of the song&#8212;the part where we saying the hook over and over and shit? But it&#8217;s like, you film all that shit, bruh. So it&#8217;s like, got damn, uh: one part is in the daytime, then BAM&#8212;it switches and the other part is in the night time fr&#8212;But like, its all in the same spot fr&#8221;</p><p>Anthony, to himself under his breath:</p><p>&#8220;So&#8230; a match cut.&#8221;</p><p>Phavo is feeling it:</p><p>&#8220;My boy! I like that idea. We can get e'rybody out here f&#8217;that&#8221;</p><p>Laron blurts out loud, immediately looking at Anthony after it leaves his mouth:</p><p>&#8220;Ooooooooh, that&#8217;s dope, bruh!&#8221;</p><p>Anthony glares at him. Phavo:</p><p>&#8220;Shit, I&#8217;ma start calling folk right now.&#8221;</p><p>Wiggs, the short one:</p><p>&#8220;I think that&#8217;s a damn good idea too fr. Yo Ant, can we see that footage? We tryna make sure it line up.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony lets out a sigh.</p><p>&#8220;I just changed the memory cards. Plus, I don&#8217;t think it&#8217;s finna be easy to light it out here at night fr. Unless them streetlights come on.&#8221;</p><p>It gets quiet. We pan over and the only available streetlight is way on the other side of the park. It&#8217;s clear now that Phavo is usually the one who speaks first on behalf of the group:</p><p>&#8220;So what is you saying?&#8221;<br>&#8220;It&#8217;s not a bad idea. I seen it done before and we could do it. But I just think it might be harder to pull off than we think.&#8221;<br>&#8220;So what should we do?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t really know. What y&#8217;all wanna do? It&#8217;s up to ya&#8217;ll.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Nah, bruh. It&#8217;s up to you. This why we asked you to be here. We coulda shot this shit ourselves. So we asking you what you finna do fr. Like, you supposed to carry the vision out. We lookin at you for the visuals.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony, sometime during Phavo&#8217;s last piece of dialogue^, looked down at the camera and began fiddling with his settings. Upon Phavo finishing, a tiny rain drop splashes onto the tiny LCD of the camera, obscuring his view. At Anthony&#8217;s feet, just beyond his downward gaze at the camera, the dirt of the baseball diamond begins to collect dark spots.</p><p>The rain is populating, and fast. Anthony:</p><p>&#8220;Fuck, man.&#8221;</p><p>The droplets begin blanketing down onto the entire open field, and they&#8217;re the fat ones, too. Sting you on the back of the neck type droplets. All 3 performers scatter, running towards the car they came in. Anthony and Laron stay behind to collect the loose camera gadgets. Laron, holding too many things in his hands, loses his grip on the reflector and the rainy wind flings it away&#8212;again.</p><p>&#8220;Ahhhh shit!&#8221;</p><p>He runs after it. The rain is really coming down now. Anthony looks on: his hat is off, and he&#8217;s using it as a canopy to cover the camera. He&#8217;s getting soaked, but he waits for his assistant. He looks defeated, ready to go home. Just as&#8230;</p><p>Behind him, the sound of a large engine. Anthony turns around.</p><p>Phavo, driving a very modest whip has pulled the vehicle onto the baseball diamond, something clearly not allowed. Through raindrop-covered windows, Anthony can see all 3 members of the rapper trio gesturing for him to get tf into the car.</p><p>He throws the door open and hops in the back seat, drenched. They drive across the baseball diamond after Laron, who&#8217;s still running + trying to wrangle the reflector. They honk at him, waving him into the car. Cradling way too much gear in his hands, he hops in to the backseat of the vehicle, sandwiching Anthony in the middle seat.</p><p>They drive off.</p><div><hr></div><p>From a wide, the car sits in a lone parking spot at the top of a hill, graphite skies above. Headlights on, beams catching the dense rainfall.</p><div><hr></div><p>Inside the car.</p><p>With the wipers off, the blanket of rainfall makes a flowing, translucent film over the windshield and each of the windows. We can&#8217;t see out of it.</p><p>&#8220;Bruh, I know you seen her before&#8221;</p><p>Phavo passes his phone to Wiggs, in the left back seat. He looks at it.</p><p>&#8220;Hell yeah, I know her well. I feel like she fw me, I don&#8217;t even know why. I just&nbsp; got that feeling.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Why don&#8217;t you test it out, nigga?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Bruh, I have. That&#8217;s what I&#8217;m saying. She bein weird, gang. I feel like she want me to chase. But I&#8217;m not finna do all that&#8221;<br>&#8220;Shit. Well, if you not then let me take a crack at it.&#8221;</p><p>Wiggs is resolute:</p><p>&#8220;No, gang.&#8221;</p><p>They all start chuckling, laughing Wiggs out. He sucks his teeth. Phavo instigates:</p><p>&#8220;So you really want her then?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m just sayin, bruh. Like, you can go for it&#8230; if you want. But she weird. If it was me, I&#8217;ma say don&#8217;t waste your time.&#8221;</p><p>D-way hands his phone into the backseat, and now Wiggs is holding two phones.</p><p>&#8220;What about her?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh naw, I don&#8217;t know her. She fine though. Not really my type... But she fine.&#8221;</p><p>Wiggs slides the phone to Anthony, he takes a look. She <em>is</em> fine. D-way chimes back:</p><p>&#8220;Bet. She not your type. Then you stay over there where yo type is when she pull up later.&#8221;<br>&#8220;She coming?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I told her to. We finna see.&#8221;<br>&#8221;Oh. Shit. Who all y&#8217;all got coming out to this?&#8221;</p><p>More laughter.</p><p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t worry about who we got coming, Wiggs. That&#8217;s not your job. You got rapping to do, right?&#8221;</p><p>Laron, still holding onto a bushel of photo gear, leans over to peek at the phone in Anthony&#8217;s hand:</p><p>&#8220;Damn.&#8221;</p><p>D-way locks on to the two non-rappers:</p><p>&#8220;So what y&#8217;all think? Fine, right?&#8221;</p><p>Laron:</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, she fine as hell bruh! I&#8217;d definitely&#8230; you know.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony:</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, for sure.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Aight there you go, cameramen. Since Wiggs got his choice all locked up, it&#8217;s finna be plenty around for you two. And you know me and D-Way takin no prisoners.&#8221;</p><p>Phavo reaches across the middle console and daps up D-Way. Wiggs:</p><p>&#8220;Stop playing with me, boy. Fuck you talmbout. I&#8217;m on everything. If you say they finna show up, I&#8217;m not holding back. I don&#8217;t care bout y&#8217;all niggas. Shit.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony, speaking up for the first time, turns to Wiggs:</p><p>&#8220;You willing to bet on that?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yo Ant. Come on, bruh. You finna get somebody hurt.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m just sayin.&#8221;<br>&#8220;This man was not fuckin with us earlier and now he wanna instigate. Okay, Ant&#8221;<br>&#8220;Aye man, I&#8217;m just saying what I see. So if you finna do something, you might as well bet on it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay cameraman, I see what you tryna do. That&#8217;s a bet then.&#8221;</p><p>D-way:</p><p>&#8220;Aw yeah, cameraman Ant tryna stir the pot. Okay. Bet it then, bruh. It&#8217;s gon all be on camera, too&#8221;</p><p>Phavo, cackling:</p><p>&#8220;You know what, gimme my phone back. I got more people to hit up then.&#8221;</p><p>Anthony laughs. Laron smiles. They look at each other for a moment. </p><p>The rainfall blanketing the windows is beginning to die down.</p><div><hr></div><p>Close on the headlights of the car, no more rainfall rifling through the beams.</p><div><hr></div><p>Same wide from before. Car parked at the top of a hill, as the peach-colored sunset quietly mixes with the graphite cover of rain clouds. It&#8217;s almost dark. All the gentlemen are outside the car now&#8212;tiny from this view&#8212;and each of them is moving around.</p><p>Phavo is on the phone, politicking with <em>somebody</em>.</p><p>Ant is positioning Wiggs and D-Way in front of the headlights of the car, while Laron holds the speaker nearby. They rehearse the rap. There&#8217;s laughter. Ant rearranges them. They&#8217;re workshopping.</p><p>We watch this for a few more moments as the last bits of sunlight dwindle in the background.</p><div><hr></div><p>Several hours later. Night skies overhead, not a raindrop in sight.</p><p>&#8220;YO! Y&#8217;ALL READY??&#8221;</p><p>Anthony tries to make his voice distinct over the large crowd chatter. Opposite him, in front of the same baseball diamond from earlier, there are about 35 people, anywhere from the ages of 17 to 25. The 3 rappers stand in the middle.</p><p>&#8220;I need this section to move closer to the middle!&#8221;</p><p>We&#8217;re close on Anthony&#8217;s drill sergeant face as he gestures with an outstretched hand. But somehow, his expression is barely visible against a pool of light silhouetting him. Where is all this light coming from?</p><p>Behind him: A squadron of cars are parked on the field in a near perfect half-circle, with their headlights blaring, illuminating the &#8220;set&#8221;, crowded with extras.</p><p>&#8220;Alright y&#8217;all ready&#8217;? Come on now! I need energy!&#8221;</p><p>Phavo:</p><p>&#8220;Oh we got you cameraman! Don&#8217;t worry. Right, y&#8217;all!??&#8221;</p><p>Phavo turns to the crowd behind him, egging them on, and they all start clapping and jeering, raising the energy. He daps up one of the dudes in attendance, chuckling. Phavo locks eyes with one of the young ladies in attendance after this show of power. She smiles. Wiggs sees this whole thing play out, and responds with a:</p><p>&#8220;Let&#8217;s go! Let&#8217;s go, y&#8217;all!&#8221;</p><p>Waving his arms and getting the crowd going. The crowd gets even louder, they&#8217;re restless at this point. One of the ladies in the crowd asks aloud:</p><p>&#8220;So which one of y&#8217;all am I supposed to listen to? Him or you. Or him with the camera.&#8221;</p><p>She points between the leads. Phavo, first as per usual:</p><p>&#8220;Sweetie. I&#8217;m right here. I just told you. Look at me fr.&#8221;</p><p>Wiggs:</p><p>&#8220;Hold up. I got the first verse, so just follow my lead for now, sweetheart.&#8221;</p><p>The young lady is intrigued.</p><p>&#8220;But once that second verse come in&#8212;&#8221;<br>&#8220;Just follow me fr.&#8221;</p><p>Wiggs puts his arm around Phavo, and addresses the whole crowd:</p><p>&#8220;This my hype man right here y&#8217;all, he said nice to meet you all. His verse is cool and all but he just trying to make sure y&#8217;all finna be ready for the opener. You know, <em>my</em> verse.&#8221;</p><p>The crowd chuckles. Phavo laughs too, but on some &#8220;oh aight&#8221;.</p><p>Anthony walks away. We follow him past the chorus of headlights to the drivers side of one of the cars. Laron is sitting inside, holding an iPhone attached to a long cord. Anthony:</p><p>&#8220;You ready?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yup, I gotchu.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Bet. Go for it. I would say just play it at half volume right now so that they can hear my directions. And then when I give you the signal, turn that mf all the way up.&#8221;</p><p>Laron smirks:</p><p>&#8220;You got it.&#8221;</p><p>Some introductory strings bleed into a booming drum beat. It oozes out of the speakers of the car, blanketing the baseball diamond in sound. The crowd reacts, and immediately the mood shifts. The dispute about who&#8217;s leading quickly dissolves and bodies start moving.</p><p>The trio bounces up and down and moves around, getting into it. Anthony, smiling, flips open the LCD on his camera:</p><p>&#8220;Aight! Let&#8217;s go!&#8221;</p><p>Over Anthony&#8217;s shoulder: his head snaps back to look at the car Laron is in. He points a single index finger, gesturing up. <em>BOOM.</em> The real sound fills the space. 808s rattle the ground. The crowd is even more into it now.</p><p>Anthony hits record: moving back and forth with the camera, he pushes into Wiggs as he starts his first verse. Wiggs energy is unmatched. He launches into his verse. </p><p>Phavo backs him up, rapping along to the last few words of every bar.</p><p>D-way starts doing a calm, modified dougie in front of the crowd. Without much sync delay, a majority of the crowd picks up the movement and copies. Anthony nods his head, smirking behind the camera.</p><p>The scene is abundant.</p><p>The crowd is into it.</p><p>The trio is flowing.</p><p>The energy is at a 10.</p><p>We float back and up, high above the music video set, into the clouds.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" 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https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DihW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f813517-5884-479b-8cd0-0959eeb59fe9_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Chicago Jones and the Temple of Doom]]></title><description><![CDATA[Directed by Robert Townsend]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/chicago-jones-and-the-temple-of-doom</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/chicago-jones-and-the-temple-of-doom</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 27 Feb 2024 22:31:26 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/5f2813e5-f33f-4b42-8ce2-ee634d7658dd_4087x2615.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png" width="1456" height="725" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:725,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:976368,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VWdU!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff8b263f-37c2-4fd2-9067-0bd78d2f6bb5_4087x2035.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" 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y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>An underground cave with light coming from a tunnel.</p><p>Through the tunnel, we hear the sound of footsteps and heavy breathing. A LARGE SHADOW is visible against the tunnel wall, running towards the cave.</p><p>From the mouth of the tunnel emerges DARLA, her head on a swivel. She&#8217;s a young, curvy, light skinned woman, wearing a billowy floral dress, covered in dirt. She&#8217;s frantic:</p><p>&#8220;Oh my god.&#8221;</p><p>The camera moves from Darla&#8217;s panicked face UP to the red-colored nail of her index finger. She is POINTING UP&#8212;past an avalanched wall of rocks&#8212;to an illuminated opening: a streak of light beams down into the cave.</p><p>&#8220;I think I see a way out. Let&#8217;s go!&#8221; continues Darla, looking back towards the tunnel. Who is she talking to?</p><p>Against the wall of the tunnel, the long throw of another shadow approaches. It&#8217;s walking veryyyy slowly towards the opening.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy!!&#8221; She pleads. &#8220;Come on!!&#8221;</p><p>The shadow lumbers still. Darla scoffs:</p><p>&#8220;Ughh!!!&#8221;</p><p>She turns toward the rock wall and begins climbing.  She&#8217;s a quarter of the way up when:</p><p>&#8220;I ain&#8217;t climbin&#8217; up there.&#8221; Says a voice.</p><p>Darla turns around.</p><p>&#8220;What do you mean, Chiggy!? We gotta go!&#8221; Darla pleads, gesturing to the light coming out of the ceiling.</p><p>Our camera FOLLOWS the beam of light, past Darla&#8217;s face, down into the cave, as a wide-brimmed hat with a feather slides into the path of the beam. The hat tilts up, revealing the face of a man:</p><p>&#8220;I <strong>said</strong> I ain&#8217;t climbin&#8217; up there, bitch.&#8221;</p><p>This is CHICAGO JONES. Early 40s, medium complexion, face a lil strung out, with a patchy goatee. His face says one thing: skeptical.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy, it&#8217;s right there!&#8221; says Darla, still pointing.</p><p>&#8220;We gon have to find ourselves another way outta here. Because I&#8217;m not finna climb up no god damn rocks.&#8221;</p><p>Darla is beside herself.</p><p>&#8220;They&#8217;re gonna come after us once they realize we escaped!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, these hands work, sweetie. I was with the escaping shit up until the climbing shit came into play. I guess I&#8217;m just gonna have to be with the fighting shit now.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy, please. We came all this way. Let&#8217;s go!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Bitch, what did I say? I am wearing Eggshell. I&#8217;m not climbing anything.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago double-hand gestures down to the rest of his outfit, and our camera pans with it. He is indeed wearing an off white shirt and pants underneath a khaki utility jacket. It&#8217;s definitely some fly shit.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy, please! Look at me. I&#8217;m covered in dirt, and this is one of my favorite dresses.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, just cause you ain&#8217;t got no sense don&#8217;t mean I have to forfeit mine&#8221;<br>&#8220;Ughhh!!&#8221;</p><p>An old, scratchy SIREN sounds. It floats, jarringly, through the tunnels of the underground.</p><p>Chicago and Darla look at each other: her with panic, him with disgust.</p><p>We move to&#8212;</p><div><hr></div><p>&#8212;a makeshift underground laboratory.</p><p>A worker in uniform rotates a handle attached to a large speaker. This is the source of the siren.</p><p>Workers all around begin mobilizing. We track one of them as he approaches a glass office with generals and uniformed men of varying ranks inside. He flings the door open:</p><p>&#8220;General, two of the hostages are no longer in their cell.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, why all the panic? They won&#8217;t get far. This place is completely walled off.&#8221;<br>&#8220;It&#8217;s Chicago Jones, sir.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, damnit.&#8221;</p><p>This is General Ironside, late 50s, white, fully in uniform with grey hair and a strong ass chin. He begins rubbing the bridge of his nose. Post-sigh, he continues:</p><p>&#8220;That girl with him?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes, sir.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Shit.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Sir?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Alright. You two come with me. Let&#8217;s use the dogs.&#8221;</p><div><hr></div><p>Loud barking noises. Just outside of the office: a row of violently rumbling cages. A petrified worker walks over slowly to unlatch them.</p><div><hr></div><p>Back at the cave. </p><p>Chicago sits calmly on a large rock, chewing on a tooth pick. The siren still blares.</p><p>&#8220;What the fuck is wrong with you Chiggy! I swear!!&#8221;<br>&#8220;How much longer you gon keep fussin?&#8221;<br>&#8220;They are going to FIND us! Unlike you, I&#8217;m trying to get the FUCK up outta here!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Go for it. Ain&#8217;t nobody stopping you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy there are heavy rocks up here, I need your help.&#8221;</p><p>No response.</p><p>Darla picks up a few small pebbles, she begins hurling them at Chicago. One clips the brim of his hat.</p><p>Chicago stands up, incensed. He dusts off his clothing and points at Darla:</p><p>&#8220;Woman! Don&#8217;t play with me! I&#8217;ll fuck you up!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Come help me!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, I&#8217;ll come help you! You gon make me come up that wall after all. Stop playin around.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago sits back down on his rock, and crosses one leg over the other. He waits. Darla is even more frantic than before. With heavy breath, she keeps pulling rocks off the walls, scavenging for more light to peek through.</p><p>&#8220;Trying to tell me what to do. Bitch, they know who I am. Watch how I work these fools.&#8221; Chicago mumbles to himself.</p><p>Through the mouth of the tunnel, we begin to hear the ravenous barks of dogs. Darla reacts, as she excavates harder:</p><p>&#8220;Oh my god!! Ughh!!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Bitch, calm down! I got this.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago stands up. He is not necessarily built different, but &#8220;wiry athleticism&#8221; is more the word for it. His shoulders slope forward and his arms are lanky. He begins miming practice punches.</p><p>Darla, exhausted, forfeits her archaeology efforts. She slumps down. The barks of the dogs get louder.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy, please.&#8221; Darla says with spent energy.<br>&#8220;Girl, I told you what&#8217;s about to happen: I&#8217;ma talk these fools down&#8230; punch &#8216;em out when they least expect&#8230; then take whatever keys they got. Then boom, we outta here. Come down here and watch me do this shit.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy, you don&#8217;t understand&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>Darla pauses for a tired exhale, then continues:</p><p>&#8220;&#8230;I stole the Detnica Diamond.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago&#8217;s neck cranes around and his face is a full on scowl:</p><p>&#8220;You WHAT?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy, please.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You lyin!&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Chiggy.&#8221;</p><p>Darla unlatches her bra and pulls out a small irregularly shaped diamond with a tribal marking etched into the side of it. It&#8217;s divine.</p><p>&#8220;I told you we were gonna come back for that shit after we got outta here!&#8221;<br>&#8220;I had to take the chance. It was right there&#8230;&#8221;<br>&#8220;Right where?&#8221;</p><p>In Darla&#8217;s hand, the diamond catches the beam of light, refracting it everywhere.</p><p>One of these new beams of light shines directly at us, piercing right INTO THE FRAME, sending us to&#8212;</p><div><hr></div><p>A flashback.</p><p>A private office in the back of the laboratory. Lights low. We&#8217;re in close on General Ironside&#8217;s face. He is sweating and grunting hard. His grunts PULSE in unison with a knocking sound.</p><p>Opposite: a close up of Darla, on her back, pretending to enjoy the exchange. </p><p>MINUTES LATER</p><p>Ironside is getting dressed. Darla, ashamed but firm, sits on the edge of the infirmary style bed. Ironside turns to her:</p><p>&#8220;You know, I could use you around here.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m sure you could.&#8221;<br>&#8220;We&#8217;ve spent so much time down here, I forget what it feels like to be around something so&#8230; well-designed.&#8221;</p><p>Darla hears this, but doesn&#8217;t turn to look in his direction. Ironside walks up behind her and caresses her shoulder, continuing:</p><p>&#8220;No hard feelings, right?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Whatever you say. As long as you hold up your end of the deal.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, I will. Immunity for you and that character you&#8217;re with.&#8221;<br>&#8220;And?&#8221;<br>&#8220;That was it, right?&#8221;</p><p>Darla turns around swiftly, her bright red-nailed index finger pointed at Ironside&#8217;s chin.</p><p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t play with me!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay, okay. I&#8217;ll get you the money you asked for. No problem. But next time ask me before we start the shenanigans. I tend to forget things when my pants are down.&#8221; jests Ironside, smiling at her smugly. </p><p><em>*SPLINK</em>: A glimmer in the corner of Darla&#8217;s vision. A rare looking asymmetrical diamond, roughly the size of a golfball sits on a desk, underneath a lamp. Next to it: a magnifying glass and a long sheet of notes and documentation. She knows exactly what it is, she&#8217;s no slouch when it comes to jewels. This is the coveted DETNICA DIAMOND. She quickly re-focuses:</p><p>&#8220;Damn right you gonna get me that money.&#8221; Darla says, looking directly into Ironside&#8217;s cold, dead eyes.<br>&#8220;Look, we have to keep drilling. I&#8217;m going to send you back to the cell with everyone else so no one suspects anything but&#8230; not a word of this to anybody.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You know I want my money. Why the fuck would I say anything?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Good, because I can&#8217;t hand out favors to everyone. And not everyone <em>has</em> what I need.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside slaps Darla on the butt, grabbing a handful. She grimaces internally. Ironside, turning to exit:</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll send someone in to walk you back.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside slips out of the room, and almost instantly a guard shuffles in. He looks Darla up and down.</p><p>Darla meets the guard&#8217;s stern look with a wobbly smile. She&#8217;s slightly out of breath, as she adjusts her bra hastily:</p><p>&#8220;So soon? Darn it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Let&#8217;s go.&#8221;</p><p>She takes a deep breath and is escorted out.</p><p>A flash of light and we&#8217;re&#8212;</p><div><hr></div><p>&#8212;back in real time. Close on the refracting diamond in Darla&#8217;s outstretched hand. Without hesitation, Chicago:</p><p>&#8220;Bitch, what??&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy, I&#8217;m sorry.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What the FUCK is wrong with you?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I was going to tell you, I just&#8230; I had to take the chance.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, fuck the diamond. The hell you doing fuckin on that bitchmade white man? God damn it, woman!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy, what was I supposed to do? He offered me a way out!&#8221;</p><p>Chicago&#8217;s mouth drops. Darla comes down to console him. He doesn&#8217;t even hear or see Darla, but instead the visual of her deed seeps deeper into his mind&#8217;s eye.</p><p>&#8220;God damn it! Son of a mothafucka!&#8221;</p><p>Chicago was practicing punching before, but now he&#8217;s really swinging on the air around him. On some Boyz in the Hood shit.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago starts rapidly pacing, he&#8217;s panicking:</p><p>&#8220;Fuck, fuck, fuck!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Chiggy.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Girl, you gon&#8217; make me kill this man.&#8221;</p><p>The dog barks are as loud as can be. Shadows start to form on the tunnel wall at the mouth of the cave.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy, no! No one is supposed to know.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No shit!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Listen, we&#8217;ll just talk our way out of this one. He doesn&#8217;t know I have it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;God damnit, woman! You put me in a tough spot! Can&#8217;t <strong>believe</strong> you!&#8221;</p><p>The barks are <em>loud</em> loud: They&#8217;re here.</p><p>The foamy mouths of TWO DOGS peek around the corner first, followed by TWO HENCHMEN, each holding a dog by a THICK braided ROPE of a leash. They are a struggle to contain.</p><p>&#8220;You are to report back to your holding cells immediately. Or we will be forced to take action.&#8221; the henchmen say.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck you and this hellhole.&#8221; Says Chicago, pointing at them. His other fist is balled.</p><p>The dogs bark and lunge at him. They are yanked put by the leashes.</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy, let me do the talking.&#8221;</p><p>Darla steps up, facing the henchmen:</p><p>&#8220;Look gentlemen, we just went for a walk and got lost. It&#8217;s no biggie. We <em>sure</em> are sorry and we don&#8217;t have a problem with that at all.&#8221;</p><p>Another singular shadow lumbers slowly into the mouth of the tunnel. It&#8217;s Ironside. His voice reverberates:</p><p>&#8220;Oh boy, oh boy.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Shit.&#8221; says Darla.</p><p>He emerges from the mouth of the tunnel in full uniform. He&#8217;s a tall man, taller than expected, and the minimal light of the cave frames his chiseled jaw as he steps between the barking dogs. But most obvious about his appearance, to Chicago and Darla at least, is the gunmetal black revolver dangling from his belt loop.</p><p>&#8220;What happened? You seem so much less talkative now that I&#8217;m here.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago is fuming. The color of his internal monologue in this moment is a boiling, bright red. Darla, trying to cut tension:</p><p>&#8220;Hello, General.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hello, <em>Darla</em>.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside flashes a quick look to Chicago, who is scowling directly at him. At his side, two balled fists. The dogs bark.</p><p>&#8220;And hello, Mr. <em>Chicago Jones</em>. We haven&#8217;t had a lot of time to talk down here. But you are a man who comes with a big reputation. It&#8217;s unfortunate we had to have our first real interaction under these circumstances.&#8221;</p><p>Darla, driving Ironside&#8217;s gaze back in her direction:</p><p>&#8220;Circumstances? What do you mean? We just wanted to explore the tunnels for ourselves. You all might have missed a spot and we thought we could&#8230; uh&#8230; find more for the collection.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, cut it out.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside steps forward, pacing into the space between Chicago and Darla as they stand still. He begins circling them, as the icy black of the revolver catches the beam of light. He looks Darla up and down, inspecting. Stopping on the side of Darla:</p><p>&#8220;You know what I think?&#8221;</p><p>Darla plays coy:</p><p>&#8220;You&#8217;re welcome to think a lot of things.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside is now behind them both. Chicago is red hot, to the point where he&#8217;s barely listening to the exchange.</p><p>&#8220;I think&#8230; something in here belongs to me.&#8221;</p><p>Chiggy about faces towards Ironside with anger in his eyes:</p><p>&#8220;What, mothafucka!? Fuck do you mean, <em>belong</em>?? I should <strong>fuck</strong> you up!&#8221;</p><p>Ironside is stunned. Turns out, Ironside wasn't speaking of Darla. She tries to calm Chicago down over the loud barks of the dogs:</p><p>&#8220;Chiggy. No.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Nah, fuck that, Darla! I&#8217;m on his ass!&#8221;</p><p>Ironside steps back, feigning fear:</p><p>&#8220;Uh-ohhh. I see what&#8217;s happening. Our friend Chicago knows something. Something he&#8217;s not supposed to know.&#8221;</p><p>Darla looks at the ground, in shame. Ironside, putting it all together:</p><p>&#8220;So that means&#8230; you told him. And you told him, because&#8230; you were in a bind. Aww, isn&#8217;t that sweet? Oh, I see very clearly now: you&#8217;re in a bind. </p><p>And you&#8217;re in a bind because you thought you could get outta here with the big prize. No, the money wasn&#8217;t enough for you Darla. You wanted it all.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside stops, looks at the both of them, then continues with a smirk:</p><p>&#8220;Oh, you <em>wanted</em> it alright.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago lunges at Ironside with a fist. Ironside draws the gun, and points it at him. Chicago stands down. Ironside, while gesturing to the gun in his hand:</p><p>&#8220;Chicago, I was a fan. Still am. I know <em>this</em> isn&#8217;t your style. But me personally, I am not above this course of action at all.&#8221;</p><p>The dogs are REALLY agitated now. With a gun pointed at his face, Chicago fumes:</p><p>&#8220;Bitchmade motherfucker.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside raises his voice, beckoning to Darla:</p><p>&#8220;Where is it?&#8221;</p><p>No answer. He trains the gun on Darla instead:</p><p>&#8220;Hand the diamond over. Now.&#8221;</p><p>Darla starts patting her dress down unseriously, as there are only so many places it could be.</p><p>Chicago presses forward slightly. He takes a few steps until Ironside calls towards the henchmen with the dogs, who threaten by lessening their grip of the dogs. *<em>WOOF WOOF!*</em></p><p>&#8220;Hold on there, Mr. Jones&#8221;<br>&#8220;I swear: if you ain&#8217;t have that gun I&#8217;d fuck you up real good. I swear to god.&#8221;</p><p>Darla, finally, retrieves the Detnica Diamond from deep in her bra. She holds it out for Ironside to lay eyes on. Darla&#8217;s eyes shoot over to Chicago&#8217;s: they make some kind of connection. Ironside, pleased:</p><p>&#8220;There it is.&#8221;</p><p>Ironside reaches out the grab the diamond in space, but Darla shifts its placement&#8212;she positions the diamond right IN the beam of light, causing a huge refraction. Twenty more light beams ricochet into the space and Darla aims a big fat one straight for Ironside&#8217;s eyes. SHWING&#8212;</p><p>Ironside recoils from the blinding ray:</p><p>&#8220;Aghhh!!!&#8221;</p><p>Darla swipes down on his outstretched trigger arm, knocking the gun out of his hand and to the ground.</p><p>Before Ironside&#8217;s vision recovers, a blurry figure moves into his POV: Chicago Jones LEAPING, fist cocked and aiming straight for his mug. <em>BBOOOOUNK! </em></p><p>Chicago lands a thudding punch to his face.</p><p>Ironside goes out cold, falls and hits the ground with a thud. Chicago talks his shit:</p><p>&#8220;Now who&#8217;s talking, motherfucker! Say something now! Bitchmade mothaf&#8212;&#8221;</p><p>Chicago sees movement from the corner of his eye: the unleashed dogs charge toward him.</p><p>&#8220;Oh shit!!&#8221;</p><p>Chicago starts running away frantically. Darla, thinking quickly, hurls the Detnica Diamond at the dog closest to her and it clocks the feral mutt square in the forehead. The dog makes a whimper and goes out cold.</p><p>The second dog reaches Chicago and leaps up onto him, knocking him to the ground:</p><p>"Oh! SHittttrt! Fuck!&#8221;</p><p>The dog is on top, aiming to bite Chicago&#8217;s face off. He holds the dog by the throat resisting, as saliva drips onto him. There is fear in his eyes:</p><p>&#8220;Aghhhh!!!!&#8221;</p><p>The dog&#8217;s sharp front teeth inch closer and closer to Chicago&#8217;s nose:</p><p>&#8220;No!!!!&#8221;</p><p><em><strong>*GUNSHOT!*</strong></em></p><p>The rabid dog on top off Chicago slumps off of him sideways, blood spattering out of its side. It squeals in pain.</p><p>Darla, stands several feet off, holding the smoking gun. She breathes heavy. Chicago with wide-eyes:</p><p>&#8220;Damn, bitch! You almost shot me!!&#8221;</p><p>Darla stands over Chicago with the barrel pointed at his face.</p><p>&#8220;I <em>ain't</em> the bitch.&#8221;</p><p>Darla tosses the gun onto his chest. </p><p>&#8220;Now get the fuck up, Chicago.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago stands up and looks at Darla with measured approval. They turn, and look at the two henchmen, still holding on to their leashes. Chicago points the gun in their direction, they grimace.</p><p>Chicago then lowers the gun and places it on a nearby rock:</p><p>&#8220;Like he said. That&#8217;s <em>not</em> my style.&#8221;</p><p>Chicago approaches the two henchmen. He starts loosening his shoulders and miming punches:</p><p>&#8220;Let&#8217;s go y&#8217;all.&#8221;</p><p>The left henchman signals to the right one that he should go first. Before he can protest, he shoves him forward. Reluctantly, he steps towards Chicago with fists raised. They box. Chicago bobs, weaves and lands a few punches. The henchman eats them. They keep boxing. The henchman is no slouch, but Chicago is like that. Left hook, left jab. Right uppercut. Before long, the henchman is bloodied all up and down his face. On a missed punch from Chicago, the henchman grabs Chicago and tries to choke him out. Chicago elbows him in the stomach, sending him backward then sends a mean right hook to his jaw: knocking him out cold.</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s right, mothafucka!!&#8221;</p><p>Chicago talks his shit.</p><p>The other henchman has seen enough. He yells with rage and starts flinging the thick, braided leash in his hand. He thrashes about, using it like a whip. He charges at Chicago and flings the whip forward: it makes a loud <em>CRACK!</em> sound that echoes through the cave.</p><p>Chicago backpedals.</p><p>The henchman moves closer, twirling the rope around and aiming it at Chicago. Another whip that snaps inches in front of Chicago&#8217;s feet: <em>CRACK!</em></p><p>Chicago looks to his left: He picks up the gun and shoots the henchman. </p><p>The henchman collapses and falls to the ground.</p><p>The cave is silent. </p><p>Darla and Chicago exchange a look. Then, a smile.</p><p>THEME MUSIC PLAYS</p><p>Chicago tucks the revolver in his pants. Darla goes over to pick up the Detnica Diamond, wiping the dust off of it. </p><p>Darla and Chicago hightail it outta the cave, in search of another way out.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:522906,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BDFm!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5d520ad-63f6-43d2-820f-ef1c8f3021cf_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The blk hole of the blk belt]]></title><description><![CDATA[The edge of the curb in broad daylight. Deakin and Samuel stand about 5 feet away from each other, but the conversation persists.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-blk-hole-of-the-blk-belt</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-blk-hole-of-the-blk-belt</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 27 Nov 2023 21:05:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg" width="1320" height="960" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:960,&quot;width&quot;:1320,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:134850,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!n-Ib!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F256a60c9-55a8-455c-8a76-bcd4c04e4e11_1320x960.jpeg 424w, 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y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>The edge of the curb in broad daylight.</p><p>Deakin and Samuel stand about 5 feet away from each other. Deakin&#8217;s body is half-turned, as the reluctance to fully engage is evident. They were headed in opposite directions, but like there&#8217;s an elastic band binding them, the conversation persists.</p><p>&#8220;Ohhhhh. Oh man. Is that right?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes sir.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Daaamn.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, bro. It&#8217;s going down.&#8221;<br>&#8220;This Thursday. Okay. Why didn&#8217;t I know about this sooner?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know! We&#8217;ve been posting about it on our page for about 3 months.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, damn. I&#8217;m not on Facebook.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Bold choice.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah. I guess that&#8217;s where everything in this entire town gets posted, huh. No wonder I miss out all the time.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Why not get a Facebook? We&#8217;re actually doing a promo for the first 10 folks to repost the open mic night on their page.&#8221;<br>&#8220;3 months and 10 people haven&#8217;t recommended it yet??&#8221;</p><p>Deakin realizes that was a bit harsh, so he follows up with a mediating chuckle:</p><p>&#8220;Tuh-ha.&#8221;</p><p>Samuel doesn&#8217;t budge at the jab, but he also doesn&#8217;t take it as a jab. He doesn&#8217;t seem to take anything as anything. He&#8217;s busy looking through his phone. He holds it up and shows Deakin the event page.</p><p>&#8220;See. How bout it? We need experts like yourself in there to bring the energy. We won&#8217;t ask you to perform or anything. Like last time.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin smiles politely.</p><p>&#8220;Sure thing. I&#8217;ll see if I can make it. But yeah, it was good to see you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You too, man. That last event you came to, the crowd was being super lame. But we&#8217;ve been making adjustments here and there since COVID and have really beefed it all up. You&#8217;ll love it this time. We don&#8217;t bite, man!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Ahaaaa. Yeah, that <em>was</em> the last time I pulled up. Pre-everything.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, a lot&#8217;s changed, broski.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Damn. That&#8217;s cool. Well, be safe out here.&#8221;</p><p>Samuel glides, somehow smoothly, in a circle around to the front of Deakin, going in for a dap. We pull out wider to see that Samuel can do this because he is on an electric scooter.</p><p>Deakin obliges the dap and watches as Samuel speeds off. Inside the clear backpack he&#8217;s wearing Deakin can make out a stack of flyers for a different event. But only barely, because the backpack is covered almost entirely in logo stickers of Samuel&#8217;s event planning collective: <em>The Sensible Social.</em></p><p>The logo is a serif font with leaf branches growing out of the different letters, like trees. Simple stuff visually, but a little transfixing because the some of the branches have a way of making some of the letters look like different letters than they are.</p><p>Deakin spaces out, imagining another name for the collective.</p><p>&#8220;That was awkward as hell.&#8221; says a voice from the atmosphere around Deakin.</p><p>He holds up the phone in his hand, and it has the face of a woman inside of it. She&#8217;s close as shit to her lens, holding back a chuckle. This is Myra and she persists with the question as if she&#8217;s making up for being put on FaceTime hold:</p><p>&#8220;Was that not awkward as hell?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know. It&#8217;s always like that with him.&#8221; says Deakin as he starts walking in the other direction.<br>&#8220;He sounds&#8230; committed.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, I think that&#8217;s just how he is. I never really understand his vibe, but there aren&#8217;t really any tricks or facades to it. So I guess I appreciate that?&#8221;<br>&#8220;You know, you might as well go.&#8221; says a different voice.</p><p>Deakin looks down at the phone again and Myra has turned her camera: there&#8217;s another woman, inside the rectangle of the phone, sitting at a desk in the background behind Myra. This is Ivy.</p><p>&#8220;Oh shit. Look who it is. And no. I don&#8217;t think I will go.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Why not?&#8221; say Myra and Ivy almost at the exact same time, but with different intentions in their inflections. </p><p>They look at each other and laugh.</p><p>&#8220;Because the last time I was in there they like half-introduced me as a headliner and made me get up on stage and tell some jokes. I really didn&#8217;t want that kind of attention, I was just trying to support.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Were the people performing talented?&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, not to my knowledge.&#8221;</p><p>Myra laughs loudly.</p><p>&#8220;Nigga, did you just say not to my knowledge?&#8217;<br>&#8220;Yes.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You have a criteria or something?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Sometimes. But I didn&#8217;t even have to use the criteria. They just weren&#8217;t funny at all&#8230; the hell you doing back there, Ivy. Oh, you making beats?&#8221;</p><p>Myra turns the phone to Ivy so Ivy is fully inside the rectangle. Tapping away on the keyboard, she turns and gives Deakin the most unenthused look.</p><p>Myra turns it back to herself.</p><p>&#8220;We&#8217;re actually planning a trip.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Without me?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Fully and expeditiously without you. You the one who decided to pack up and move all the way across the country on a secret getaway.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What that gotta do with me meeting y&#8217;all there?&#8221;</p><p>Ivy chimes in from the background.</p><p>&#8220;You got whatshisname&#8217;s performance to attend. You busy anyway.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Damn. Go back to making beats.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Boy, shut up.&#8221;</p><p>Myra takes over.</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s a girls trip, so I don&#8217;t even think you&#8217;d have that much fun.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, probably not.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Airbnbs are expensive as fuck right now though&#8230; so we&#8217;re finding out.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin walks up to a coffee shop, but doesn&#8217;t go inside. He sits down on a bench outside, continuing the conversation. Next to him he notices a a large sign, featuring a blown up flier of the event that Sam just talked him through. He sighs, then turns the phone to show Myra. She leans into the screen, inspecting.</p><p>&#8220;Mmmmm. Okay. Not too sightly. Some interesting colors. Is &#8220;featuring&#8221; misspelled?&#8221;</p><p>Deakin looks closer.</p><p>&#8220;No, no. It&#8217;s spelled right. I think that&#8217;s just the fonts they use. That&#8217;s a thing with them.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What&#8217;s up with people putting yellows and purples together like that? Is it a greek event?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Uh ha! Yeah, that&#8217;s a weird choice.&#8221;</p><p>A pause. A couple with a stroller walks out of the coffee shop. They smile at Deakin. He smiles back reluctantly. Myra, from inside the phone:</p><p>&#8220;Well, we gonna let you go. This trip ain&#8217;t gonna book itself. Spring time gonna be here before we know it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Mmmm-hmmm.&#8221;</p><p>The baby in the stroller peeks around from the edge of the basin, looking back at Deakin. He exchanges glances with the small, curious human.</p><p>&#8220;And listen, D, if you&#8217;re actually down. We&#8217;re seeing a lot of places with a couple extra bedrooms, we have space.&#8221;</p><p>The kid slips back behind the basin.</p><p>&#8220;Wait.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah?&#8221;<br>&#8220;You think I should go?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hell yeah, come on! We been waiting for all of us go on a trip together.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, no. To the open-mic night.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah. Should I show up?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, I for one, think you should do whatever feels right. He seemed to really admire you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah. I guess. Do you think I should just ask him do my own routine?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Have you been writing new material?&#8221;</p><p>Deakin tilts his head and gives a &#8220;come on, girl&#8221; type face.</p><p>&#8220;Okay! Mmmm, well. You say you&#8217;re not there to be known, but it also seems like you can&#8217;t help yourself. I think the real question is: would you be okay with performing after they tell the crowd that you have a few Comedy Central credits and stuff like that? After they do the whole Dog and Pony show.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No.&#8221;<br>&#8220;There you have it. You not ready.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin sighs, then turns it on her:</p><p>&#8220;Who not ready? You not ready. And look, Ivy was never ready. Look at her, shoulders all hunched, staring at a screen. Just deformed. What if somebody burst in the door right now? Y&#8217;all ain&#8217;t ready for nothin&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oop.&#8221;</p><p>Myra turns her phone towards her friend. Ivy retorts:</p><p>&#8220;I hope you bomb in front of all them hillbillies.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I hope you get in a fight with a old ass Rottweiler with a bum leg and he bite that chunk of yo hunched neck off. That one right there.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin is pointing straight into the screen. The gals chuckle.</p><p>&#8220;Look at you, wasting jokes on the wrong audience.&#8221;</p><p>Myra swings the phone back around to herself.</p><p>&#8220;Alright, bye D.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah.&#8221;<br>&#8220;And D, let us know! If we don&#8217;t lock these dates in soon, flights gonna be expeeeeensive.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hah, yeah I got you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Byeeeeeee&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;ma talk to y&#8217;all.&#8221;</p><div><hr></div><p>Lights trained on a small stage. Silhouetted heads in the audience.</p><p>&#8220;So I was talking to my homegirl the other day on the phone. And I asked her, straight up, like yo, how I should show up to this open mic. First, it was <em>if </em>I should show up. But she convinced me. So it went from if to <em>how</em>.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin paces the stage with a mic in his hand. A couple claps can be heard in the audience.</p><p>&#8220;Nah, nah. Don&#8217;t clap. Because, for real. I really didn&#8217;t wanna be at this shit, man. Like, at all. Y&#8217;all are a weird bunch. I mean it. I came one time before and it just wasn&#8217;t funny. I&#8217;m sorry. It was terrible.&#8221;</p><p>Silence. The crowd is a bit stunned.</p><p>&#8220;And some of y&#8217;all mfs stink. Like, real bad.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin points toward the front of the crowd.</p><p>&#8220;Look at this nigga right here. He already don&#8217;t like me. He like, &#8216;shut up! ain&#8217;t shit funny about permanent body odor.&#8217;&#8221;</p><p>A dude in a fitted and a baggie hoodie goes from scowling to chuckling a little bit.</p><p>&#8220;Where you from, man?&#8221;</p><p>The man&#8217;s answer registers as a murmur from the crowd.</p><p>&#8220;Nigga said &#8220;here&#8221;. Well no shit, brotha. Look at what you&#8217;re wearing. Of course you from here. Only niggas who ain&#8217;t been no-where dress like that.&#8221;</p><p>The audience starts laughing. Claps roll in.</p><p>&#8220;What neighborhood? I been living here long enough to understand the different parts.&#8221;</p><p>Another murmur from the man in the audience.</p><p>&#8220;Cedar Hill? Like, where they be&#8230; you know&#8230;?&#8221;</p><p>Deakin mimes a trigger squeeze with his free hand. The crowd confirms.</p><p>&#8220;Ohhhh, shit. Okay. Damn, that&#8217;s actually a nice hoodie, my brotha. I couldn&#8217;t see it in the dark. Who&#8217;s it made by?&#8221;</p><p>The crowd laughs at that one.</p><p>&#8220;Lemme move to someone else. You, ma&#8217;am. With the big ass glasses. I know you can see me pointing at you. What part of &#8220;here&#8221; are you from?&#8221;</p><p>A woman in the 3rd row chimes in.</p><p>&#8220;Ah, Carverdale. That&#8217;s a so-called nice neighborhood. It stink out there, too? Nah, I&#8217;m just playing. You own property out there, don&#8217;t you. Look at you.&#8221;</p><p>She confirms.</p><p>&#8220;Several! Okay, okay. Miss Real Estate! Everybody give a round of applause for her.&#8221;</p><p>The audience launches into applause. Deakin cuts them off prematurely, yelling into the mic&#8212;</p><p>&#8220;No! Shut up! Stop clapping! The fuck is wrong witchyall! This bitch a gentrifier. Don&#8217;t encourage that shit! It&#8217;s only a matter of time before she come into your neighborhood and wanna knock down <em>your</em> walls and shit.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin mimes glasses on his face with his free hand and swings the mic around violently with the other. The audience laughs minimally at this.</p><p>&#8220;Tuh-ha. Y&#8217;all are a funny bunch, man.&#8221;</p><p>A yell comes from the back of the audience.</p><p>&#8220;Oh yeah? You said you seen me walking my dog around there before? Damn, alright FBI.&#8221;</p><p>The audience has turned on him.</p><p>"Did I at least look tough? Like I would beat somebody the fuck up if they try me <strong>and</strong> my dog?&#8221;</p><p>Another yell from the back. The crowd roars with laughter amongst itself.</p><p>&#8220;What&#8217;d she say?&#8221;</p><p>Someone answers for her. It&#8217;s a &#8216;hell no.&#8217;</p><p>&#8220;Hell no!? Uh-ha! Well, shit. Damn, they said I look sweet on any block. You know what. Samuel, where you at?&#8221;</p><p>Deakin makes a roof over his brow with his hand, peering towards the back.</p><p>&#8220;Yo Samuel! Come get your people, man. I&#8217;m out, man. Fuck you and this weak ass crowd. They trying to show me up.&#8221;</p><p>Deakin pretends to storm off stage. The crowd laughs this through.</p><p>&#8220;But nah&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>There&#8217;s a pause in the room. Deakin looks pensively down at the stage.</p><p>&#8220;Y&#8217;all ever be walking your dog and the shit just look up at you and you just know he&#8217;s saying to himself, &#8216;damn, this fuckin&#8217; cornball again.&#8217; Y&#8217;all ever feel like that?&#8221; </p><p>The audience chuckles.</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t own my dog, it&#8217;s adopted. I got him when I first moved here. But I don&#8217;t think that nigga fuck with me, still. I think he feel like he babysitting <em>me, </em>not the other way around.<br>And you would think he would&#8217;ve warmed up by now. But no! That lil mf has not come around <strong>at all</strong>. He be walking around the house, wagging his tail and knocking over glasses. I be wanting to fight that nigga. Little ungrateful ass. <br>But&#8230; I still walk him. I give him treats. I be talking him up when I run into another dog owner &#8216;Oh yeah, he&#8217;s such a good sport&#8217;. Like, no. Fuck this lil bitch. You can have him, for real.&#8221;</p><p>The audience laughs. Deakin&#8217;s gaze is still aimed downward.</p><p>A long, pensive beat.</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s my dawg though, he been holding me down.&#8221;</p><p>Another pensive beat.</p><p>&#8220;You know what&#8230; y&#8217;all ain&#8217;t so bad. I had some material written for tonight. Y&#8217;all cool if I get into it?&#8221;</p><p>The audience responds a resounding &#8216;yes&#8217;.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:682436,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gQN3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd2deab76-6564-4049-b650-02520468cbc2_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption"></figcaption></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[RIP to them two birds... took me bout fiftyleven stones tho]]></title><description><![CDATA[A clearing in the woods. We&#8217;re with Norm, a young boy. A voice in the distance finds him: &#8220;Yo!&#8221; &#8220;Yoo!&#8221; he answers back.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/rip-to-them-two-birds-took-me-bout</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/rip-to-them-two-birds-took-me-bout</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 31 Aug 2023 22:42:32 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg" width="1456" height="971" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:971,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:370367,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zdfj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc8448f75-8e9b-45c7-b111-7b904d3d7a2e_2110x1407.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>A clearing in the woods. We&#8217;re with Norm, a young boy. A voice in the distance finds him:</p><p>&#8220;Yo!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yoo!&#8221; he answers back.<br>&#8220;Pick up that can and put it on that stump right there. Right next to you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Right here?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah&#8221;</p><p>Norm places it on the stump with his free hand and then wipes the dirt off it. 30 feet away is Raymond, and he peers at it with one eye closed and a tiny rock in his right hand. Norm yells back at him:</p><p>&#8220;Okay, but hold on! Lemme get out of the way first.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hurry!&#8221;</p><p>As soon as Norm gets a few feet out of the way, Raymond dips his torso down, cocks his arm back, and rockets an elastic arm forward, hurling the rock towards the can. The rock makes a straight flight for the crumpled soda can and BLASTS it right off the ledge: <em>PNKKK!</em></p><p>&#8220;Ayeeeee! Let&#8217;s goooo!&#8221; shouts Norm in the direction of the pummeled can.</p><p>He runs back towards Raymond with one hand pumping a joyous fist and the other holding onto the hem of his shirt, which he is using as a DIY basin: the shirt is holding ~20 of the most almost-spherical rocks that he could find.</p><p>Raymond obliges his high-five and then surveys the collection of rocks for another one. He is taller than Norm, with an intense look to him.</p><p>&#8220;Lemme get this one.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, I liked that one. Great color. I found it over by the river.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Stop that&#8221;<br>&#8220;Huh?&#8221;<br>&#8220;That thing where you quiver your lip while you talk. It makes me nervous.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I didn&#8217;t know I was doing it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay, now take the can and put an another 30 feet back. You see that log right there?&#8221;</p><p>Raymond points to a clearing with a fallen tree trunk on its side, cutting across the forest.</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, I do. But&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>Norm makes a quizzed face.</p><p>&#8220;Something wrong?&#8221; Raymond asks impatiently.<br>&#8220;But that&#8230; that&#8217;s where the bamboo starts. It&#8217;s gonna be in the way.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh I know, bro. Just do it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh okay.&#8221;</p><p>Norm hustles over to the fallen soda can&#8212;now dented&#8212;still clutching onto his shirt hem with diligence. He runs it over to the log in question. He looks back and between him and Raymond&#8217;s line of sight are vertical BARS of thin cylindrical bamboo stalks.</p><p>&#8220;Alright, get ready!&#8221;</p><p>Raymond dips his torso down again, coils his body and rockets his arm; but this time his hand releases the rock a bit late. And almost in slow motion, the rock zooms through the clearing, making the elastic flight UP around the bamboo, CURVING as if a frisbee&#8230; until it strikes the SIDE of the log, mere inches below the can. The rock bounces off and tumbles into the soil.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck!&#8221; goes Raymond.<br>&#8220;Ooooof!&#8221; Norm shouts. &#8220;So close!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Shut up! I know!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Sorry!&#8221;</p><p>The wind starts to pick up, making the can quiver back and forth on the log. Norm starts trudging towards Raymond again, sweating profusely, holding the shirt rocks steady. Raymond rifles through them.</p><p>&#8220;You know, maybe you grab 2 or 3 rocks at a time, so that I can always be on can duty. You know, save us some time.&#8221; Norm says.<br>&#8220;You got somewhere to be?&#8221;<br>&#8220;No.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I won&#8217;t need two. Watch me get it on this next one.&#8221;</p><p>The bamboo trees sway with a little more vigor and the both of them take notice of the strong winds.</p><p>&#8220;Well, uh. What about the next target? And the next one after that? More rocks means you can just keep moving farther and farther.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You know what. Gimme three rocks.&#8221; Raymond says as if Norm never suggested it.</p><p>He then grabs a handful without even looking at them. Norm is disappointed in the lack of inspection, but he runs diligently back to the target.</p><p>We&#8217;re in close on Raymond&#8217;s face as he eyes the target through the agitated bamboo. He coils again but his time he lets out a loud shriek as the rock flings out of his hand: &#8220;AHHHHhhh!&#8221;</p><p>It misses. About 5 feet short. </p><p>&#8220;Damnit!&#8221; shouts Raymond.</p><p>Norm, almost reacting out loud, stops himself. He goes to fetch the rock.</p><p>Wasting no time, Raymond winds up to throw another rock: he cocks his arm back, hurls it with force and WE FOLLOW it as it flies through the shrubbery, curling past a row of bamboo and flying RIGHT for Norm&#8217;s head. He reacts, ducking down.</p><p>&#8220;Ah!&#8221;</p><p>The rock whizzes by and STRIKES the can, sending it flying off the backwards off the log.</p><p><em>PNKKK!</em></p><p>&#8220;Fuck yeah!&#8221; Raymond shouts. He pumps his fist, and exhales.</p><p>Norm pops up from his ducked position. He didn't even see the rock connect, but he looks and verifies that the can is on the ground behind the log.</p><p>&#8220;Whoooooooo!&#8221; he shouts. <br>&#8220;That&#8217;s what the fuck I&#8217;m talking about!&#8221; Raymond yells.<br>&#8220;What a shot! 1 out of 3 ain&#8217;t bad!&#8221;<br>&#8220;You being smart??&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, No. I&#8217;m just saying. You didn&#8217;t even hit the bamboo once! Where should I move it to next?<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m tired of the can.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay!&#8221;</p><p>Norm starts walking back to Raymond.</p><p>&#8220;No! Stay there!&#8221; shouts Raymond. &#8220;And hold your shirt out.&#8221;</p><p>Norm, confused, extends the hem of his shirt outward so the basin of rocks is wider, more flat.</p><p>&#8220;Nope! Both hands.&#8221;</p><p>Norm holds the hem with both hands, extending the surface of his &#8220;table&#8221; of rocks even further.</p><p>Raymond leans WAY back, cocking his arm <em>down</em> this time and throws the rock straight up in the air.</p><p>It ZOOMS past the tops of the trees, slowing its ascent in front of the blue sky above. It parabolises, and begins falling. It drops DOWN through the trees, plummeting straight for Norm. Norm is paralyzed in an upward gaze, watching the rock descend towards him: it&#8217;s making a direct flight for the middle of his forehead.</p><p>&#8220;Ahhh!&#8221;</p><p>Norm flinches and runs out of the way, tripping over his feet and sending the whole collection of rocks flying everywhere. The thrown rock hits the ground amongst the others. Raymond lets out a belly laugh.</p><p>&#8220;Ha!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Nooo! The rocks.&#8221; shouts Norm, to himself.<br>&#8220;Forget about &#8216;em! Let&#8217;s go.&#8221; Raymond shouts across the forest.<br>&#8220;But I need them.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No you don&#8217;t. Come on. Let&#8217;s get something to eat.&#8221; Raymond says, as he turns around and walks toward the opening of the woods, leaving Norm to follow.</p><p>Norm gets up and, with some bass in voice:</p><p>&#8220;Yes I fucking do!&#8221;</p><p>Norm digs into the soil, picking up a handful of the rocks on the ground and throws them all, at once, in Raymonds direction. We follow them as they FLY in a cluster towards Raymond&#8217;s turned back: half of them are stopped by the bamboo directly in front of him, another few clunk off of large tree trunks further away, until we&#8217;re left to follow the flight of one: A perfectly spherical stone careening through the woods, uninterrupted.</p><p>Raymond turns around to face what seemed like a shout from Norm.</p><p>&#8220;Huh?&#8221;</p><p>As he turns, the flight of the one rock falls into view, just registering in his line of sight before striking him right between the eyes. Raymond falls back, limbs rigid, and hits the ground with a thud.</p><p>Norm, 60 feet away:</p><p>&#8220;Raymond?&#8221;</p><p>No response.</p><p>&#8220;Raymond!&#8221;</p><p>Still no response. </p><p>Norm sits down in the same spot where he fell, just past the bars of bamboo, and begins collecting the remaining spherical rocks on the ground around him, inspecting them as he remakes the basin in his shirt.</p><p>Before long, the sun creeps down below the horizon line, painting the interior of the woods a deep bluish-orange.</p><p>Still no response.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:682436,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WO2v!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F462dc3a3-af7d-47df-b6a6-a9a90a49324d_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Minority-Owned Report (2002)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Directed by Stephon Spillburgh]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/minority-owned-report-2002</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/minority-owned-report-2002</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 22 Aug 2023 22:37:09 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/bb6ca301-06cf-4885-bbd6-457bb2e2d093_3141x2342.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png" width="1456" height="697" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:697,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:10673246,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-ovh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F464d3306-87fd-48b2-bb30-7ffaa5e230c8_10322x4944.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>High ceilings. A futuristic-looking kitchen timer&#8212;adorned with pulsating blue lights&#8212;ticks away on a desk: there are about 8 minutes left. A white woman&#8217;s voice pierces through the space:</p><p>&#8220;So, now that you&#8217;ve seen the storyboards. There&#8217;s one last thing I wanted you to know we&#8217;re thinking about.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Go for it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;There&#8217;s a scene I&#8217;m thinking about from Minority Report that I really wanna steal to use for our film. Well, really, it&#8217;s a shot.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Mmhmm.&#8221;</p><p>Inside an online square on a computer screen is Mallory, seen only from the shoulders up. She&#8217;s a chiseled white woman in her late 40s wearing sunglasses and a thin scarf around her neck. She speaks with her brow permanently furrowed:</p><p>&#8220;The future-seeing girl&#8212;I forget her name, but she&#8217;s played by Samantha Morton&#8212;but it&#8217;s the scene where she&#8217;s by the window. And then it moves to the close up of her face, her eyes roll back into her head and BOOM: she has a vision. She recites the future his dead son would have had. And there&#8217;s like all this bright white light surrounding her while she talks.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay. I see.&#8221;</p><p>We can hear the sound of a pen scribbling into paper.</p><p>&#8220;You know the scene I&#8217;m talking about?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Of course. That&#8217;s one of my favorites.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I want to do that, I want that feeling. Just a brooding kind of moral grey area kind of vibe to the scene. TONS of light. She&#8217;s angelic but it&#8217;s not exactly heavenly. You know what I&#8217;m saying?&#8221;<br>&#8220;I do. I think I do. Lemme just get all this down.&#8221;</p><p>This introduces us to Allan, 38, sitting in the cavernous apartment and writing furiously into a yellow legal pad with a ballpoint pen. He wears a Kangol to the back, some metallic blue eyeglasses, a simple white t-shirt, down to a pair of plaid slacks. He crosses them to gain a better leverage surface for the notepad. He stops to clarify something:</p><p>&#8220;And so is the goal to have that same amount of harsh light coming through onto&#8230;um&#8212;&#8221;<br>&#8220;Neshia.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Neshia. Right&#8230; coming through onto Neshia&#8217;s face?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes, we&#8217;re going for the same exact thing pretty much. Just swap out our actor for that one. I&#8217;m talking to Sven about doing these overexposed highlights so we can really mimic the mood from that film. But we&#8217;re really being conscious about how much hard vs. soft light, especially with her darker complexion.&#8221;</p><p>The timer&#8217;s tick slices through the silence. </p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick.</em> </p><p>Allan writes again for a beat, then clarifies again:</p><p>&#8220;I see. And what do you make of what the Samantha Morton character does in the rest of that scene?&#8221;<br>&#8220;In terms of what?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, she screams &#8216;RUUUUN!&#8221; at the top of her lungs with damn near crazy eyes. It&#8217;s really the most chilling scene in the film, I think.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh yes, I mean we can add that in there, too. The line we have in the script does have Neshia giving a warning of some sort. We still have to sort it out in rehearsals.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, I&#8217;m not telling you to add it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh. Okay.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hmmm. So. The thing about the particular Samantha Morton scene that comes to mind is that she&#8217;s having a premonition, and speaking through dead spirits. But I can&#8217;t see many scenarios in which a black character having that same premonition won&#8217;t veer into a portrayal of some kind of battle with mental health. Rarely do you have a character acting like that who isn&#8212;&#8220;<br>&#8220;Wait, I don&#8217;t understand.&#8221;</p><p>Allan glances at the ticking timer.</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;ll just look a little crazy.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, I was more concerned about the skin tones with all that light coming in. I hadn&#8217;t thought about her coming off a certain way.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I understand. But I think it&#8217;s something that could&#8212;will&#8212;be a tricky thing to pull off properly. If that&#8217;s your reference point, I&#8217;d advise you to reconsider.&#8221;<br>&#8220;But that is the whole sequence right there. Like, her whole character is based around that vision. Our march into the final act hinges on it, too.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I know. I know. When I read the script I marked it for our discussion, so I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;re bringing it up now.&#8221;</p><p>Allan pauses a beat&#8212;but not for himself&#8212;before continuing:</p><p>&#8220;Does Neshia <em>have</em> to be a black woman? We encourage productions to really consider if the demographic swing is worth it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I mean, we&#8217;ve already cast Monica. But yes, I&#8217;d really like for her to be.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Monica B. Jamison?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, I mean. All her previous big roles were these sort of half-demented, midwife characters, usually vaguely coded as needy and unhelpful. Terrific talent, but&#8230; yeah. I&#8217;m not exactly sure she should just fall into this role without major caution. She already has played several characters that we can&#8217;t stand.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay. Wow. Interesting. So what does that leave us?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Good question. I think maybe the whole eye rolling into the back of her head thing will definitely need to be toned down a bit. Can&#8217;t do that. I&#8217;m not sure what she could be doing instead. That&#8217;s up to you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hmmm. Well. That&#8217;s not going to go over well with my team. We&#8217;re already 4 weeks out until shooting starts.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I hear that.&#8221;</p><p>Mallory takes a moment to think to herself.</p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick.</em></p><p>&#8220;Mallory, how about we cut it here. I think I have enough to make a diagnosis.&#8221;</p><p>Her brow even more furrowed, she offers something up:</p><p>&#8220;Okay. Well, wait wait. What if she has this kind of Oracle feel. You know, a Gloria Foster thing. Rest in peace, of course. The warning that Neshia tells Daniel, our hero, can come very nonchalantly. Still the strong highlights, but while she&#8217;s cooking or organizing something.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hmmmm. That&#8217;s a tough one. I think what we might be saying there is that she&#8217;s this all knowing, stagnant character. The Oracle has a very specific philosophical reason for having that demeanor. I don&#8217;t think Neshia as written can carry that.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Gosh. Here I thought I was throwing you a bone.&#8221;<br>&#8220;The only other thing I could suggest is maybe devoting more of your pages in act 2 towards filling out Neshia so that by the time her premonition happens, you can&#8230;&#8221;<br>&#8220;Allan. Really? More pages? That&#8217;s a lot to ask.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I mean, I don&#8217;t know what else to say at this stage.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Say that I have a green light from the studio to push this back 6 weeks.&#8221;</p><p>Allan gives a courtesy chuckle, then glances at the timer.</p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick.</em> 3 minutes.</p><p>&#8220;I hear you. But I think my role&#8212;and I say this often because I think it&#8217;s an uncomfortable phase for many productions&#8212;is really supposed to help streamline things on the backend. Use me as a resource to get it correct now as opposed to dealing with it later.&#8221;</p><p>Mallory is stressed.</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s if we have a backend.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Is there anything else? You&#8217;ll have a diagnosis from me later tonight.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, I gotta run, too. Art department folks are breathing down my neck. But, yeah. Looking forward to your assessment.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Talk soon, Mallory.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You too, Allan.&#8221;</p><p>The feed of Mallory blips away and the black mirror of the screen leaves us looking at Allan, sitting his usual 5 feet back from the computer.</p><p>We pull out wider: Plants on all sides around him. Furniture is sparing and there&#8217;s a sense that he could be moving out any day now. But then again, that&#8217;s been the sense for almost a decade.</p><p>Allan hustles over to a large drafting table in the middle of the space. He drops the legal pad face down onto a flat piece of glass in the middle and it SCANS the contents. The desk PROJECTS a hologram OUTWARD into the physical space of the room around him. Scribbles, keywords, talking points, sketches and even a crude doodle of Mallory he made all appear in the physical space.</p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick:</em> 2 minutes left.</p><p>&#8220;Wanda. Prepare the ingestion window.&#8221;</p><p>A black, digital&nbsp; &#8220;hole&#8221; opens in the side of the table.</p><p>Allan reaches into a drawer and pulls out a white glove, adorned with silver piping along the vein pattern of the hand. He slides it it on, flexes his fingers and the floating scribbles immediately react: they jiggle in place, signaling their mutability.</p><p>&#8220;Mallory, mallory, mallory&#8230;&#8221; Allan murmurs to himself while staring at the cluster of doodles hovering in front of him.</p><p>He walks around it, and moves to another scribble in all caps: <em>THIS TOO SHALL NOT PASS LOL</em></p><p>Allan reaches for the different scribbles: picking them up and clumping them together, stacking them into a thick, unreadable mass.</p><p>A calm, female voice descends into the room:</p><p>&#8220;Allan, it seems you already know the diagnosis of Mallory&#8217;s proposal?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Of course. She&#8217;s going to be rejected.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, why go through the trouble of doing a timed diagnosis?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Process, Wanda. I care about getting a little bit better every single day.&#8221;</p><p>With his other hand he pulls out a tiny handheld spatula of sorts from the drawer, similar to what they use at Cold Stone Creamery. It also has the same silver piping.</p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick.</em> 1 minute.</p><p>Allan glances at the timer, and the ticks feel louder, sharper. He is calm, but he hurries.</p><p>With the glove he molds the mass of words and markings into a ball in front of his face. The strings of sentences float about, like loose straight hairs being corralled together. He reigns them back in, keeping the the shape of the thing. He keeps churning, using the spatula tool as a way to smooth the edges.</p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick.</em></p><p>The hovering clump is now about the size of softball and almost a fully black object, if not for the spaces where the contours of his handwriting create tiny holes. THROUGH ONE OF THESE HOLES, we see his eyes, determined and focused. He continues sculpting, patting it down. Almost there. With the gloved hand he spins the mass around, tactfully using the spatula tool to make it more spherical.</p><p>Churn, churn, churn.</p><p><em>Tick, tick, tick, tick.</em></p><p>The timer approaches zero.</p><p><em>Tick&#8230;</em></p><p>Allan makes some final touches.</p><p><em>Tick&#8230;</em></p><p>Allan yells in the direction of the table: &#8220;Wanda. Ingest!&#8221;</p><p><em>Tick&#8230;</em></p><p>Allan cradles the &#8220;ball&#8221; in his glove hand, cocks it back and throws it right into the hole in the side of the table. The hole swallows it and disappears. </p><p>In it&#8217;s place, a GREEN hologram notification: &#8220;MALLORY_SESSION_6: INGESTED&#8221; pops up just as&#8230;</p><p>The kitchen timer GOES OFF: a series of synths, beeps and bloops.</p><p>Allan sighs.</p><p>Wanda&#8217;s voice descends into the room again:</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s a new record, Allan. You beat your previous time of 34 minutes for a diagnosis submission. Would you like to see the results?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Thanks, Wanda. And no, I have another call right now. Prepare the rejection letter to be sent to Mallory tonight.&#8221;</p><p>The automated voice doesn&#8217;t respond.</p><p>The hologram dissipates, minimizing back into the table, and Allan slips off the glove, sliding it back in the drawer. He sits down again in the same video call position as before.</p><p>A call comes in. Allan answers it.</p><p>&#8220;Hey, Allan. Good to see you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hello, Wanda.&#8221;</p><p>This is Wanda, but not the automated voice from before. A living, breathing woman, in her late 50s with a medium complexion. She wears a sleek, collarless shirt that compliments her erect sitting posture. Her hanging earrings are ornate, and they sway as she speaks:</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m glad we could meet, Allan. I don&#8217;t need to tell you that your work has been stellar these past few months. I&#8217;m sure you already know.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Thank you, Wanda. It&#8217;s always good to hear that from you. I&#8217;m simply carrying the torch.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well. We are few who understand this work. So, thank you. But, speaking of torches, I did want to talk to you about this upcoming review season. There are changes coming.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Changes, how?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, I&#8217;ll tell you this. They want to cut our funding. I&#8217;m not keen on it happening, but it is a reality. The board feels our work is creating unnecessary pressures. I&#8217;m having trouble advocating for the long-term here.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What funding?&#8221;</p><p>Wanda chuckles.</p><p>&#8220;Allan. I&#8217;m letting you know the best way I can. But we do have to consider the possibility of a new way of guiding productions.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Wanda. Excuse me, I&#8217;m not sure I understand. Is this happening or is this us discussing?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Allan, listen to me.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Wanda. This isn&#8217;t some time-honored profession. I thought that&#8217;s what we&#8217;ve always implicitly admitted in all our discussions. The Pre-Trope System is us taking advantage of a moment, and just running with it. We&#8217;re playing with house money.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I hear you. But&#8212;&#8221;<br>&#8220;So what is there to cut? We have a footing now and we see how it impacts the final product. The rates of problematic images are down across the board. You don&#8217;t see images of people of color with any kind of missteps. Hair, make up, lighting. Jesus&#8212;writing, character, story. All the major departments feed off of our report. All the major departments become way more invested when a diagnosis is present.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You&#8217;re not wrong. I see those same statistics every day. But rightness isn&#8217;t what I have to offer to the board.&#8221;<br>&#8220;We&#8217;ve been doing&#8212;I&#8217;ve&#8212;been doing record numbers, and quicker diagnoses than originally projected. This thing is streamlined. There&#8217;s no fat on it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;It&#8217;s not you, Allan. It&#8217;s just an industry-wide shift away from our principles. They&#8217;re not saying they want less inclusivity, but they are saying they want more productions. They want more product. It&#8217;s just how these things go.&#8221;<br>&#8220;So you&#8217;re letting this happen?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Allan. Come on.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, I&#8217;m serious. This is exactly what happened 5 years ago when we had to install the system. We had to convince them. And <em>you</em> did it. I remember your words at that time. I would&#8217;ve never expected such a lack of resilience.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Allan. Watch your mouth. Settle down.&#8221;</p><p>A beat. Wanda continues:</p><p>&#8220;I am hearing you. But let&#8217;s be realistic. I didn&#8217;t call for your counsel.&#8221;</p><p>Allan takes a moment.</p><p>&#8220;So what then?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Our criteria has changed.&#8221;</p><p>Wanda&#8217;s face blips off the screen and is replaced with a document with lots of text, but there are major sections crossed off in red marker. It&#8217;s a manifesto. At the top, the title is in bold lettering: &#8220;<em>The Minority-Owned Report: A Rubric for Predicting Tropes</em>, by Wanda Sydow&#8221;. The screen tracks Allan&#8217;s eyes as he scans the document. He has seen this manifesto a million and one times before, but we&#8217;re watching his eyes move only to the revisions, ZOOMING IN on points of interest. Tiers of qualifications, gone. Point systems have been shaved from scales of 10 to scales of 3. A major section with instructions called &#8220;Trope Tally&#8221; has been crossed out. In its place is a recommendation: &#8220;If more than 5, please report. Otherwise, approve.&#8221; Allan sits back in his chair, he is stunned:</p><p>&#8220;Wow. Wanda. This is your baby.&#8221;</p><p>We can&#8217;t see her, but Wanda&#8217;s voice comes through from behind the document on the screen:</p><p>&#8220;Allan, I think you&#8217;ll find that this just makes your job a little bit easier.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t even know what to say.&#8221;</p><p>The document blips off, and we see Wanda again.</p><p>&#8220;Good. I think that&#8217;s fine. At some point, we&#8217;ll look at this moment and remember how it made us feel. But that&#8217;s not right now. In the meantime, keep up the good work. If there are any questions, do let me know.&#8221;</p><p>Allan&#8217;s gaze is off in the distance.</p><p>&#8220;Alright. Take care, Allan.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah.&#8221;</p><p>The feed blips away. The reflection of Allan is all we&#8217;re left with. The printer next to him spits out the manifesto with bright red revisions. Allan walks right past the printing revisions into the main part of his apartment, rummaging through a bag.</p><p>The other Wanda&#8217;s voice descends onto the room:</p><p>&#8220;Allan, I did want to circle back. Would you like to hear the diagnosis for Mallory?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Whatever. Go for it.&#8221;</p><p>Allan pulls out a small tube from his satchel, shaped like a tiny inhaler. He lifts it to his nostrils and takes a deep sniff. He recoils from the sensation.</p><p>&#8220;She&#8217;s been approved.&#8221;</p><p>Allan sits back on the couch, and lets his eyes roll back into his head. The room fades from view and things begin to go dark.</p><p>&#8220;Well, good for her.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Should I prepare the approval letter?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Do as you please, Wanda.&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:522906,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eyEN!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc2914fb3-36cf-4bf8-8da5-b35acf2b6b49_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption"></figcaption></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Invasion of the Energy Matchers]]></title><description><![CDATA[The car is at a halt. Music at plays at a low volume. &#8220;You know these are motion controlled, right?"]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/invasion-of-the-energy-matchers</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/invasion-of-the-energy-matchers</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 05 Jul 2023 21:01:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1400bda6-4aa2-4476-a4d7-e3cd4c4ab692_3730x1841.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png" width="1456" height="719" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:719,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:5122876,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SXD5!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fa2d803-299b-4518-9a51-3bddb234ceb3_3730x1841.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div 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stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>The car is at a halt. Music at plays at a low volume.</p><p>&#8220;You know these are motion controlled, right? So like, at this time of night, the closer you get, it&#8217;ll read that movement and it&#8217;ll turn green.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t believe that.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Girl. Try it. There ain&#8217;t no cars around.&#8221;<br>&#8220;How long have you been wanting to say this to me?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Try it and see what happens.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;ve never seen that before. And I&#8217;m not about to get pulled over, especially out here.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m telling you. Most stoplights are like this&#8230; just try it.&#8221;</p><p>They had been waiting there for almost a minute and the light was stuck on RED. Dana lets off the brake, inching her car forward into the empty intersection. </p><p>&#8220;See? Nothing.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Keep going.&#8221;</p><p>She inches forward a couple more feet, nearly past the crosswalk. It&#8217;s still red.</p><p>&#8220;This is dumb.&#8221;</p><p>A few more feet into the intersection. Just as she&#8217;s nearly half way through, the light CLICKS to GREEN and Quadrell, the stoplight specialist sitting in the passenger seat, throws his head back in laughter. Dana blushes a bit.</p><p>&#8220;See, I told you, girl. You just have to tell it what you want to do. It&#8217;ll listen. Impose your will, D!&#8221;</p><p>Dana makes a quick right onto a main artery. There aren&#8217;t many cars in sight&#8212;it&#8217;s freakishly late&#8212;but she could tell there were more people in this area than the empty intersection from before.</p><p>&#8220;I think the light was just turning green when it was supposed to.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Think about it, though. Why would they waste resources and manpower on a light scheduling system if you could just power it yourself?&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell puts his finger to his temple, a self-aware attempt at mimicking that one meme.</p><p>&#8220;I do think about that. Like, all the time. But I also just think that the city isn&#8217;t really that thoughtful. Why would it cost less to have motion sensors installed? Feels like it&#8217;d be more.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, but I live in a different part of town. They do that kind of stuff out here.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh, I know you do. You know how I know? I&#8217;m the one driving out here every night.&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell ingests, then processes, the tone coming from his driver.</p><p>&#8220;Oh damn. You know what, my bad, D&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell reaches across to the driver&#8217;s seat for a one-way hug from the side, while continuing. </p><p>&#8220;&#8230; and I appreciate you for it! You&#8217;re a real one! But I&#8217;m just saying. If you gonna drive me all the way out here every night after work, we might as well make it a little fun.&#8221;</p><p>Dana doesn't reciprocate, and they sit in silence.</p><p>The car has picked up considerable speed down this main street, but a quarter mile ahead we can see a traffic light begin to cycle to YELLOW, and then finally to RED. Dana brings the car to a stop, well short of the crosswalk line, her preferred position.</p><p>After a moment, Dana breaks the silence:</p><p>&#8220;You&#8217;re saying it works on these stoplights, too?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Feel free to try it again, girl. I&#8217;m not gonna push.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know. This is kind of a big street. I think I&#8217;ma just stay put.&#8221;<br>&#8220;It&#8217;s up to you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Ehhh.&#8221;</p><p>Dana lets go of the brake, inching out slightly. But before she can get far enough, another car pulls up to the intersection in the perpendicular street. Dana stops. It&#8217;s a beige Altima, circa early-2000s. It also stops.</p><p>&#8220;Why aren&#8217;t they going?&#8221;, Dana asks.<br>&#8220;Lmao I&#8217;m not sure.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Is the light broken?&#8221;<br>&#8220;It could be. But they probably saw you about to go.&#8221;</p><p>Dana inches forward the tiniest bit to catch a glimmer of the perpendicular stoplight, confirming what she suspected.</p><p>&#8220;See, look. The light is green. I knew it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hmmm, yeah. Then what the fuck <em>are</em> they doing?&#8221;</p><p>Dana inches out just a couple feet and then brakes HARD, as if to passive-aggressively gesture to the other car &#8220;you go&#8221;&#8212;but&#8212;so does the perpendicular Altima. Both cars inch forward and herky jerk brake at each other in unison. It&#8217;s an awkward looking exchange from afar.</p><p>Quadrell reaches across to the driver&#8217;s side again, but this time he honks the horn.</p><p><em>BNNNRNK!</em></p><p>&#8220;What are you doing?&#8221; Dana protests.<br>&#8220;Listen. Somebody had to.&#8221;</p><p>There&#8217;s a pause. Then, the Altima honks back, but still doesn&#8217;t move. <em>BNRNK!</em></p><p>&#8220;Okay. Now that is weird as hell.&#8221; Quadrell offers.</p><p>Looking up, the glimmer of green light Dana can see from the perpendicular light goes YELLOW for a short time, and then RED. The other car stays put.</p><p>Dana&#8217;s own stoplight moves from RED to GREEN and she trudges forward, driving through the intersection&#8230; when Quadrell SCREAMS:</p><p>&#8220;Go go go!! The fuck!!&#8221;</p><p>Dana turns her head: The Altima is moving at a moderate speed straight for the passenger&#8217;s side of Dana&#8217;s car, disobeying their red light. She slams on the gas, pulling away as the other car just narrowly misses her rear end.</p><p>She comes to a screeching halt, stopping her car just on the other side of the intersection, breathing heavily.</p><p>&#8220;What the fuck is going on??&#8221; she asks.<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know but&#8230; they stopped, too. Just go, just go!&#8221;</p><p>Dana pulls off even faster. In the rear view, she can see the Altima is now speeding off down the perpendicular street, away from them.</p><p>&#8220;Tf is going on, tonight? They on them hard drugs out here, I see&#8221;, Quadrell snaps, as they float away from that intersection.</p><p>Dana drives nervously through a few more stoplights down this main artery until another RED light materializes. </p><p>There are several cars waiting to go in the perpendicular cross-street and they pass through the intersection as Dana reaches her stopping point. She decides it best to stop about 10 feet short this time.</p><p>One of the cars, a black Acura with tinted windows, slows to a halt in the middle of the intersection, signal blinking, waiting to turn left. A dark red Hyundai, also tinted, is coming at the intersection from the opposite direction&#8212;the last car for the Acura to yield to&#8212;but it STOPS just short of the Acura. Dana and Quadrell watch carefully.</p><p>After a beat, the red Hyundai cracks open it&#8217;s window and the hand of a lady, adorned with rings, pops out. It waves the black Acura through&#8212;on some &#8220;you got it&#8221;. The hand slips back into the vehicle, and the window rolls back up.</p><p>The Black Acura then cracks its window open, and a male hand pops out, wearing a Rolex. It waves the Red Hyundai through&#8212;on some &#8220;come on.&#8221;</p><p>Red Hyundai, hand emerging from the window again: waves more vigorously now, imploring the Black Acura to turn left. She&#8217;s being nice.</p><p>Black Acura, responding: pops a hand out again and waves impatiently for the Red Hyundai to please just go.</p><p>Red doesn't budge, waves Black through again. Black car, holding firm, waves Red through.</p><p>This continues back-and-forth several times, and before long, the perpendicular light expires back to RED. Dana&#8217;s light turns GREEN and over the sound of humming engines in the intersection, the two cars sit in the middle of the intersection continuously waving, imploring each other to&#8230;.</p><p>&#8220;JUST GO!!!&#8221; yells Quadrell from the passenger&#8217;s seat, out of frustration. Like a spectator at a sports game.</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know what to do here.&#8221; Dana confesses.<br>&#8220;Oh my god. Just. GO!!!&#8221; yells Quadrell at the two cars again, but this time he reaches for the horn again. Dana blocks his hand.<br>&#8220;No. Let them figure it out.&#8221;<br>&#8220;D, come on. They on some bullshit.&#8221;</p><p>Still, the two cars are stuck in the middle of intersection, hands poking out of the windows, wrists twirling at each other, stuck on an eternal loop. Above them, Dana&#8217;s light is GREEN as can be. Neither of the two cars budge, until the woman in the Red Hyundai opens her door and gets out. She is tall, slender, wearing heels and dripping with confidence. She stands directly in front of the black Acura, puts one hand on her hip and cocks her arm behind her head and does a full-range of motion WAVE THROUGH.</p><p>&#8220;What the hell?&#8221; remarks Dana.</p><p>The black Acura&#8217;s car door swings open and out comes a tall, handsome, muscular man with a fresh fade, wearing a tight black t-shirt and a chain laid over it. He walks directly up to the lady, stands a foot from her face and raises his hand above his head. He then swings his arm through, executing his own husky rendition of a wave through.</p><p>Quadrell, on cue:</p><p>&#8220;The fuck is this shit?&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell manages to strike Dana&#8217;s car horn again and a loud <em>BNRRRRNK</em> lets off. The two motorists in the middle of the intersection remain locked into their duel of politeness. Zoomed out, the scene is quite unusual: two cars parked the middle of an intersection, doors ajar beneath a green light while Dana&#8217;s car, waits for this unorthodox blockade to dissipate. Only, at this moment, the light above her flicks to YELLOW.</p><p>&#8220;You know what&#8230; I need to get home. I don&#8217;t got time for this bullsh&#8212;&#8221; Quadrell says as he reaches for the door handle, ready to get out.</p><p>But Dana reacts quickly. She CLICKS the automatic door lock, binding in Quadrell. She slams her foot on the pedal, accelerating abruptly. She drives forward, veering AROUND the two dueling cars, smacking the curb HARD in the process. As she makes it to the other side, the light <em>just</em> cycles to RED.</p><p>Through the rearview, we can see the two drivers continuing their dueling traffic cop impression, but they grow smaller and smaller in size as Dana zooms off down the artery, visibly frustrated.</p><p>She turns her music up and lo-fi R&amp;B sounds fill the car as&#8230;</p><div><hr></div><p>Dana and Quadrell drive, without talking, for another couple miles past dark department stores and empty parking lots. Barely anything is open for business.</p><p>They stop at yet another red light. Thankfully, there are zero other cars in sight.</p><p>&#8220;You can say you hate my part of town. It&#8217;s okay.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, it&#8217;s not that.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Well, what is it? Don&#8217;t kill me with this silence, D!&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m just tired. This week has been hell. And this shift Dekario has us working, well, I think I wanna pick up something earlier. So I might ask him to switch to something else next week.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Oh no! You leaving me?? You know this the only shift I can do!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Q.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m sor&#8212;you&#8217;re right. You gotta do what&#8217;s best for you, girl.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I mean, you being there? That&#8217;s the only thing that makes the shift bearable. But right now it&#8217;s just too much. I need a whole reset. Maybe the earlier shift will help.&#8221;</p><p>The car hums along, quietly churning down another stretch of road.</p><p>&#8220;Well, you know that I love you&#8230; And I&#8217;m grateful for you.&#8221;</p><p>Dana, content most of the trip to keep her head forward, looks to Quadrell&#8217;s sincerity sitting passenger. She fixes her face to give him a small smile.</p><p>&#8220;I know. This ain&#8217;t got nothing to do with that. This is just some stuff I been feeling for awhile.&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell lets this marinate for only a short moment.</p><p>&#8220;Good, bitch! Because we turning up for the rest of this week then!&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell swipes at the volume knob and the music that was slow-cooking in the background is turned UP to a million degrees. He dances in his seat in while Dana can&#8217;t help but grin.</p><div><hr></div><p>Dana pulls into a gas station, stopping at a pump to refill.</p><p>As soon as she puts the car in park, Quadrell lands his hand on Dana&#8217;s shoulder:</p><p>&#8220;Girl, I&#8217;m about to buy you a snack. For all your troubles. What you want?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Idk, something sweet.&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell gets out and light jogs into the mini-mart.</p><p>Dana pays at the pump, plucks the nozzle and sets it to auto fill. She sits down in the driver&#8217;s seat, with the door ajar, one foot hanging out. She deep sighs, and then she pulls out her phone and begins scrolling.</p><p>Close in on the phone: she cascades down a social media feed past a few still photos, and a couple ads and lands on a video of two women podcasting across a table:</p><p><em>&#8220;You not gonna come over to my house and tell me how to clean my kitchen! That&#8217;s just out of the question.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I know that's right. Is that what you said to her?&#8221;<br>&#8220;No. Why would I explain myself again after I told you the last time? Is my name Wikiamber? What&#8217;s the use? You are who you are, sweetie. I&#8217;ll do me.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Mmmmhmm. I feel you on that.&#8221;</em></p><p>A logo pops up and the video loops, repeating this exchange, so Dana keeps scrolling, past a few more still photos, stopping on another video: shaky footage of a backstage scene at a concert, an entourage circles around two sweaty male artists, post-performance:</p><p><em>&#8220;Bro, you really did that shit.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hellll nah, nigga! This is all you. You bet on yourself, bro.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I couldn&#8217;t do this shit without you though, man. Thank you for being a part of it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes! Yes, you could have. Man, stop it! Come on! A win for you is a win for me, bro.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m only here because of your influence. Wouldn&#8217;t have made sense to do it without you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Man, come on. What are you talking about?? You&#8217;re a legend in your own right!&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay okay, a legend calling another nigga a legend. I see what&#8217;s going on here.&#8221;</em></p><p>The entire entourage around the both of them howls with laughter.</p><p><em>&#8220;Let&#8217;s just say that <strong>we</strong> did this shit togeth&#8212;&#8221;</em></p><p>Behind Dana, the nozzle CLICKS. She powers her phone off, returns the nozzle to the pump, declines a receipt and gets back in the car, closing the door. Through the windshield she can see that Quadrell has struck up conversation with the cashier inside the Mini-Mart.</p><p>&#8220;Q. It is time to go.&#8221; she murmurs to herself.</p><p>Another beat. She sees Quadrell leaning in, deepening his interest. Her concern grows.</p><p>&#8220;Come on, Q.&#8221;</p><p>Dana pulls her phone out again, but then hesitates. She throws the phone back in her pocket, and hops out.</p><div><hr></div><p>The mini-mart contains your usual junk food fare with plexiglass encasing the cashier. The bell above the door PINGS as Dana steps inside.</p><p>&#8220;Period! You heard me. And you know exactly what the fuck I was trying to say!&#8221; says Quadrell to the cashier, nearly screaming. The cashier is a bald semi-oldhead, with somewhat dead eyes, in his mid 40s with a full beard.</p><p>Dana holds the door open, doing her best to not step too far into the establishment:</p><p>&#8220;Q.&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell doesn&#8217;t even see or hear Dana. He is fixated.</p><p>&#8220;Q. We gotta go.&#8221;</p><p>The cashier steps out of the booth, and walks towards Quadrell, getting all up in his face.</p><p>&#8220;So, lemme get this straight&#8230;&#8221;<br>&#8220;Get it straight then.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You saw me nod my head and you still here?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Boy, stop playing with me. Get on with it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Get on with what? Why the fuck are you still here?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Because I can be. And I&#8217;m still waiting for your response.&#8221;</p><p>Dana, confused at the contents of the back and forth, looks on. </p><p>&#8220;You told me my beard was nice. That&#8217;s all you said.&#8221;<br>&#8220;That&#8217;s exactly right.&#8221;</p><p>A slight pause, as the two individuals are mere feet from each other&#8217;s face.</p><p>&#8220;So&#8230; what the fuck do you want me to say to that?&#8221;<br>&#8220;You can say thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m not saying thank you. That&#8217;s just your opinion. I&#8217;m not thanking you for your opinion.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You can <em>say</em> <em>thank you</em>.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m not saying thank you! That&#8217;s just your opinion.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Sir, you can say thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m NOT going to say thank you.&#8221;</p><p>Dana finds a pause in the conversation to beckon her friend:</p><p>&#8220;Q. It&#8217;s late! Come on.&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell, as if moving on a grid, turns 90 degrees to his friend:</p><p>&#8220;Come on? Look at you! Miss Angry al of a sudden.&#8221;</p><p>Dana shouts at the top of her lungs:</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m waiting on YOU, Q!&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell, almost immediately, screams back:</p><p>&#8220;Well, you gonna have to hold the FUCK up then!!&#8221;</p><p>Dana shrinks hard, taken all the way back. In her eyes is the look of fear, as she wasn&#8217;t expecting that kind rebuttal.</p><p>Quadrell about-faces from Dana and rockets right back into his exchange with the cashier.</p><p>&#8220;So. Are you going to accept my compliment?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Are you going to keep asking?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Please say thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I&#8217;m not going to say thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Please say thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No thank you. I&#8217;m not going to say thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You almost had it. But try again.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No.&#8221;<br>&#8220;<em>Sir</em>, I really like your beard.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Okay, cool. Have a nice day.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, I will not have a nice day. Not until I get my thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You not gonna get a thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Please give me my thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You&#8217;re not going to get a thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Take the compliment.&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, take your candy and go. Your friend is waiting for you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Here, I&#8217;m giving it all back. Now just give me thank you. That&#8217;s all I want.&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell walks over to the counter and slams the package of mini-donuts and peach rings back onto it.</p><p>The cashier jogs back around, ca-chings open the register, and slams a couple bills right next to the sweets.</p><p>&#8220;There, you can have that back then.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I don&#8217;t want that. I want my thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;You not getting a thank you.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Fine. I&#8217;ll take my candy back then.&#8221;</p><p>Right then-and-there Quadrell opens the pack of mini-donuts and starts stuffing his mouth with them.</p><p>Dana, fed up, shouts over the commotion:</p><p>&#8220;What the fuck is going on??&#8221;</p><p>In eerie unison, the two debaters turn to Dana and yell with wide eyes and fingers pointed: </p><p>&#8220;YOU TELL ME!!!&#8221;</p><p>Quadrell, mouth full of powdered donut, empties most of it onto the ground in front of him as he yells. The cashier stands, finger pointed, through the haze of the plexiglass.</p><p>&#8220;What the hell&#8230; Y&#8217;all look crazy as fuck, and I&#8217;m trying to get the fuck home!&#8221;</p><p>In unison and pointing again:</p><p>&#8220;YOU GOT LEGS, DON&#8217;T YOU?!?&#8221;</p><p>Dana, shaken, takes that as a sign. </p><p>&#8220;Alright. Fuck this. Q, you can find your own way home.&#8221;</p><p>Dana storms out of the mini-mart and straight for her car.</p><p>Sitting down in the vehicle&#8212;fuming&#8212;she watches on for another moment as Quadrell and the cashier continue their back and forth.</p><p>She slams the transmission into drive and pulls out of the gas station driving off into the night, back down the main artery.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:484995,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LvhZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fff912465-b528-45ff-81fc-6108d9ef2413_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA["Tf we supposed to do when it ain't no hoops on?"]]></title><description><![CDATA[Cyril then lowers the remote. Next to him, Lamarr chimes in a response: &#8220;&#8216;Well. How bout you spend more time with Ya Damn Kids!&#8217;&#8221;]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/tf-im-supposed-to-do-when-it-aint</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/tf-im-supposed-to-do-when-it-aint</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 17 Jun 2023 01:27:12 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png" width="1456" height="822" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:822,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1422750,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Z9h!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a60571d-9e79-4785-8d87-f85ae4db326f_1675x946.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Cyril then lowers the remote. Next to him, Lamarr chimes in a response:</p><p>&#8220;<em>&#8216;Well. How bout you spend more time with Ya Damn Kids!&#8217;</em>&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Hahaha. For real.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;<em>&#8216;And stay off That Damn Phone!&#8217;</em>&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Yo, that&#8217;s actually what ESPN needs fr. A permanent segment of Stephen A. just saying that shit straight to camera.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;They need to put it on the ticker at the bottom, too. Just going across the screen, shaming niggas into accepting family life.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Hahaha, right.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;That shit would work, though. You know why, right?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Why?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Because it would be below a bunch of baseball highlights. Niggas would have no choice but to watch the bottom of the screen.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Lmao for real. That&#8217;s actually how I always knew it was really summertime fr. ESPN would be on all night, but it would be non-stop RBIs and shit. The Top 10 would be all double plays.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Facts, bro.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Double plays are actually crazy as shit when you think about it.&#8221; says Cyril, still holding the remote. With it in hand, he mimics the arm elasticity of throwing a baseball.</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, they be flying through the air throwing the hell outta that shit.&#8221;</p><p>A long pause.</p><p>And then two deep sighs fill the room.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck we gonna watch though?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Idk&#8230; Lemme see that real quick.&#8221;</p><p>Cyril hands the remote over to Lamarr, who pulls up the main menu. Different rectangles&#8212;applications filled with content&#8212;cover the screen in endless rows &amp; columns. Lamarr clicks through a &#8220;New Arrivals&#8221; rectangle, revealing more rectangles. He scrolls, reading descriptions aloud.</p><p>&#8220;A competition&#8230; between two&#8230; royal families. Princes and Princesses from different countries&#8230; square off and&#8230; &#8220;duke&#8221; it out&#8230; in a series of gladiator-style... What?? Can they even do this shit legally?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;The hell? Look at the thumbnail.&#8221;</p><p>IN CLOSE on THE THUMBNAIL: it&#8217;s a cover poster designed around a 2 vs. 2 face off, one boy and one girl each, emerging from the edges of the frame with fists balled. One side is heavily dressed in red and the other is a distinct blue. In the negative space, semi-transparent faces of 4 older people loom behind, all with a scowling look. Presumably these are the parents, or rather: the kings and queens. </p><p>The title, centered in the thumbnail: </p><h4><em>ROYAL RUMBLE<br></em></h4><p>Moving in closer, the individual letters in the title bounce up and down in succession. </p><p>&#8220;Look at this nigga face, bro. He don&#8217;t even wanna be there.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Hahaha, his dad probably put him up to that shit.&#8221;</p><p>Now moving in close to the faces: The boy in question, wearing blue, rolls his eyes, sighing deeply. But he keeps his fists balled. And we see the faces of the older folks behind him begin to animate, to the point where they are speaking to each other inside the thumbnail:</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll have you know, your daughter is talented at Staff Combat but she does not compare to mine at the Rope Climb,&#8221; says the matriarch of the Blue Side.</p><p>The matriarch of the Red Side snaps back:</p><p>&#8220;Well, I don&#8217;t see how you could make that assessment. Your daughter cheated her way to the top last time. Only another Rope Climb will tell us who is really better.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;How dare you! Erik, we must settle this.&#8221;</p><p>The Blue King affirms his wife:</p><p>&#8220;I agree, my love. One rope climb to decide who is the best. Let us commence!&#8221;</p><p>We burst down through some clouds and open to a scene of a clearing in the woods, surrounded on all sides by a thick blanket of forestation. In the middle of a grass clearing sits a wooden stage with a large wooden arc structure, vaulting 40+ feet into the air. One half of it is painted red, the other is blue. Two ropes hang down. A bell sits at the top. </p><p>The two families are circled around the base of the stage talking shit to each other while the two young girls stretch and prepare. King Blue turns to face King Red:</p><p>&#8220;Garrison. Now that we&#8217;re here, I expect the same level of candor towards us from you and your queen. You asked for this!&#8221;</p><p>The Red patriarch steps toward the Blue and stiffens his gaze.</p><p>&#8220;Oh, no doubt, sir Erik. I will keep this level of candor. It is not an act, it is within me.&#8221;</p><p>An audible cackle comes from beyond the trees. It&#8217;s Lamarr, sitting next to Cyril in a crowd:</p><p>&#8220;HAHA. Oh shit, this n*gga doubling down. Talk your shit, bro&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yeah, I got my money on him fr.&#8221; adds Cyril.</p><p>Cyril and Lamarr are in a crowd of spectators&#8212;one side RED and one side BLUE&#8212;sitting under a medieval-themed tent. Wearing neutral sweatpants and hoodies, they stick out amongst the crowd.</p><p>A horn sounds. </p><p>The tension in the crowd tightens. A short man in a velvet hat holding a scroll steps out onto the stage and&#8212;using a thundering voice&#8212;reads the rules:</p><p>&#8220;Since this is part of the rematch clause invoked by King Erik, the rules here are streamlined! The clock is off, only one round. Physical contact is accepted. First to ring the bell wins!&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Did he say physical contact?&#8221; says Lamarr.<br>&#8221;Sounds like it.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;<em>Shhhh!!</em>&#8221;</p><p>Back on the couch in the living room, the two friends are rapt with attention in front of the television. Lamarr turns to Cyril:</p><p>&#8220;You heard that?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Heard what?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Somebody shushing.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Idk. Naw.&#8221;</p><p>The horn sounds again, and the two young girls walk to their respective ropes, preparing to climb.</p><p>&#8220;Places, combatants!&#8221;</p><p>Mathenia, daughter of the Red Side cracks her neck side to side, then takes one long scowl at Eden, her Blue opponent. Eden does not return this gaze.</p><p>&#8220;Your highness-es, on my count of three,&#8221; says the scroll man festively, while a trio of horn players saddle in and position themselves on the side of the stage:</p><p>&#8220;One&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;BRRR!&#8221;, goes the first horn player.</p><p>&#8220;Two&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;BRRR!&#8221;, the second one.</p><p>&#8220;Three&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;BRRR!&#8221;, the third.</p><p>&#8220;GO!!!&#8221;</p><p>And then all three in unison:</p><p>&#8220;BRRRRRRRRRR!&#8221;</p><p>Off that horn, Mathenia launches sideways and plunges her shoulder into Eden&#8217;s chest, knocking her off her feet and straight onto her back.</p><p>Lamarr is stunned:</p><p>&#8220;Oh Shit!!&#8221;</p><p>And so is Cyril:</p><p>&#8220;Yo!&#8221;</p><p>The red crowd around them cheers with aggression.</p><p>While Eden struggles to get up, Mathenia grabs onto the end of Eden&#8217;s rope and THROWS it high in the air, hoping to hook it on the flat part of the bar it&#8217;s hanging from.</p><p>She misses on the first attempt.</p><p>On the second attempt, she snags it on the top. Red crowd cheers even louder, as Eden&#8217;s rope is now impossible to reach. </p><p>Mathenia smirks, then looks down to where Eden was, but she&#8217;s gone. Eden has already started climbing up the rope designated for Mathenia. Blue crowd rejoices in rebuttal. </p><p>&#8220;Bro. How did she get up that fast?&#8221;, says Cyril.<br>&#8220;Idk yo! This shit crazy.&#8221;</p><p>Mathenia starts vigorously kicking the tall wood structure over and over, loosening the snagged rope end. It falls down. The blue crowd cheers on Eden, already a quarter way up the rope.</p><p>Mathenia begins climbing with haste. She gains on Eden, but her herky-jerk momentum causes the rope to begin swinging back and forth, slowing her down. Rope climbing at this level is a matter of true upper body strength. Eden is streamlined: one hand over the other, making strict movements while the rope stays vertical.</p><p>&#8220;Bro, I did not know what to expect. But this show is nuts. Look at her technique.&#8221; says Cyril.</p><p>Eden is halfway up the rope. Mathenia&#8217;s rope-swinging technique is even more violent now. Back and forth she goes.</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, she knows what she doing compared to the other girl.&#8221; Lamarr declares.</p><p>IN CLOSE on Eden, as she is high enough on the rope to see the tent of spectators, and her eyes wander to the blue side desperately cheering her on. But then she sees two anomalies in the middle of the crowd, dressed in neither blue or red, and pauses with a look of perplexion&#8230;</p><p>Until BOOM!</p><p>Eden&#8217;s rope shakes violently, almost causing her to slip.</p><p>She looks down, and Mathenia has LEAPED from her rope and jumped on to Eden&#8217;s. Mathenia moves quickly up the rope, grasping for Eden&#8217;s legs. </p><p>The Blue crowd gasps. The Red crowd cheers.</p><p>&#8220;Did you see that shit, bro?&#8221; says Lamarr, turning to Cyril.<br>&#8220;Yo!! I know, bro. She strong as shit for that. How tf did she do that?&#8221;<br>&#8220;No, no. I&#8217;m talking about how she like looked directly into the camera. It felt like the whole thing stopped for a minute.&#8221;<br>&#8220;I feel like it was just a dramatic pause. That&#8217;s how these shows be.&#8221;<br>&#8220;What you mean? This doesn&#8217;t feel scripted.&#8221;</p><p>Mathenia is moving quickly up the rope&#8212;a less volatile rope than before&#8212;and it is throwing off Eden&#8217;s rhythm. Eden makes a strong lunge upward but can&#8217;t go further: Mathenia has her foot. Eden tries to wriggle away, but Mathenia&#8217;s stronger than she looks.</p><p>Off one strong kick, Eden dislodges Mathenia&#8217;s hand, but she also loses her grip and slides several feet down the rope, knocking right into her adversary. They both slide down together in a cluster of limbs, palms <em>blistering</em>, clinging to the rope for dear life.</p><p>&#8220;OHHH!!!&#8221;, go Lamarr and Cyril in unison.</p><p>Both crowds gasp at this. Eden&#8217;s advantage has diminished. The two princesses claw and scrap at each other, vying for position to get ahead on the rope and it is a sight to behold. This is Mathenia&#8217;s kind of fight.</p><p>&#8220;Nah, this is crazy. I&#8217;m team Red girl now. She on some shit.&#8221; says Cyril.<br>&#8220;Yo, me too.&#8221;</p><p>Now we&#8217;re in close on a member of the crowd, wearing blue. He nods his head in reaction to Mathenia&#8217;s tenacity, then mouths something directly to the camera:</p><p>&#8220;I might have to switch, too. If she keeps climbing like this, we&#8217;re cooked.&#8221;</p><p>Cyril and Lamarr turn to look at each other, perplexed.</p><p>&#8220;???&#8221;, they say to each other with their eyes.<br>&#8220;See I told you!!&#8221;</p><p>It&#8217;s now a mad dash to the top. Mathenia and Eden exchange hands, one over the other on the rope desperately looking to gain an advantage while their legs battle below. There&#8217;s only a quarter left of the rope to go.</p><p>&#8220;Wait. They can hear us?&#8221; Cyril asks, finally catching on.</p><p>&#8220;Barely. It&#8217;s louder in here than usual. Where are you two from?&#8221; the man in blue says. He feels closer now, like they&#8217;re having a face-to-face conversation.</p><p>&#8220;What the fuck?&#8221;, says Lamarr, turning his head to look around him.</p><p>Eden, vying for arm space, ELBOWS Mathenia right on the button of her nose, stunning her and causing her to drop several feet. Mathenia is pissed.</p><p>Eden breaks away, and the entire Blue side of the crowd STANDS UP in anticipation for a win.</p><p>Cyril and Lamarr&#8217;s view is obscured now. Screams surround them on all sides, and the roar of a dedicated fanbase envelops them. In order to see the rest of the rope climb, they have to stand up for the first time, and on that movement they realize: they&#8217;re no longer on the couch, they&#8217;re in the scene.</p><p>A blue supporter bumps into Cyril&#8217;s shoulder, and he scowls back; still adjusting. Lamarr feels on his chest, making sure he&#8217;s there.</p><p>Mathenia climbs with pace and strength now, hoping to catch up. She&#8217;s moving FAST as she ever has. She makes her way back up to Eden&#8217;s level and starts clawing at Eden&#8217;s feet until&#8212;</p><p>Eden JUMPS across to the other rope, catching it cleanly and holding on tight. She&#8217;s back to her original rope.</p><p>Blue Crowd <em>loses</em> it. Cyril and Lamarr&#8212;caught up in the fray, absorbed by the spectacle&#8212;lose it, too. A few red crowd members cheer from a place of justice.</p><p>There&#8217;s only 10 feet left, and Eden starts her ascent towards the bell. But: Mathenia noticing the crowd has swung, grunts and lets out a noxious scream&#8212;a thick, primal roar&#8212;and flings her body across to Eden&#8217;s rope, landing on top of Eden&#8217;s back, almost ending both of them. Like a madwoman, she starts pulling at Eden&#8217;s hands, trying to loosen her grip. </p><p>The entire crowd gasps, as they are 35 feet high and this could result in the both of them plummeting to the ground. Eden&#8217;s fingers are trembling under the weight of holding the both of them up until&#8212;</p><p>Eden, falling inevitably, LETS GO of the rope&#8212;</p><p>suspends in mid air and sends her arms back, ELBOWING Mathenia square in the stomach, causing her to fly off and plummet to the ground below.</p><p>Eden, as she falls, turns, REACHES and a grabs back onto the other rope, stopping herself right at the midpoint.</p><p>And as Mathenia falls, a group of 4 young boys in uniform SPRINT out onto the stage holding the corners of a safety cushion. They catch Mathenia before she hits the ground, avoiding any serious injury.</p><p>The blue crowd cannot contain itself.</p><p>Eden, all alone, climbs slowly and steadily to the top, and rings the bell. She pumps her fist in the air and points towards her family below. </p><p>Lamarr and Cyril are at a loss for words. They high five other members of the blue faction, as they all celebrate the win and jeer towards the red side.</p><p>The short man with the velvet hat is back, at the foot of the stage.</p><p>&#8220;What a match! My word! Ladies and Gentleman, give a round of applause for your combatants. This time it&#8217;s Eden, of Blue, protecting her crown. She defends her honor&#8230; by virtue of the rematch clause.&#8221;</p><p>Both sides of the crowd give a long standing ovation. </p><p>As the families file out, supporting their exhausted daughters, they wave to the spectators.</p><p>Cyril, still standing, is beside himself:</p><p>&#8220;Bro, I don&#8217;t what the fuck is going on. But that was some crazy shit.&#8221;</p><p>Lamarr confirms it:</p><p>&#8220;Dawg! Right! I need to tap in with Royal Rumble more often. This shit make you feel something.&#8221;</p><p>They both sit back down for the first time, hoping to be more relaxed, but the confusion persists: They begin to work out the math of their peculiar situation. </p><p>Something ain&#8217;t right.</p><p>Sitting back down didn&#8217;t quite return them to the couch like they hoped it would. Looking around, all the spectators are still there: a foreign, sweaty, thrill-seeking mass around them on all sides.</p><p>The scroll man clears his throat to make another announcement:</p><p>&#8220;And now, ladies and gentlemen: we have a tradition after matches like the one you just saw. We&#8217;re opening up the Rope Climb to two contestants from the crowd: with a cash prize for the winner&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>Everyone in red and blue turns their gaze to the anomalies.</p><p>&#8220;&#8230; Are there any newcomers in the crowd?&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:706202,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Cg1k!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69745b87-69da-4eef-89fa-3ad86505c0b5_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Subscribe for free-ninety-nine to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[In a small town, it's fomo in lowercase]]></title><description><![CDATA[&#8220;Well, was it at least a good time?&#8221;, he said out loud in a demonic, crackled voice. &#8220;I don&#8217;t know. I mean, it&#8217;s always a good time seeing the film. But no one else laughed at the parts when Jack was going apeshit. Those are my favorite bits. My dude was so far off the rails&#8221;, he responded back in his normal, conversational tone.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/in-a-small-town-its-fomo-in-lowercase</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/in-a-small-town-its-fomo-in-lowercase</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 09 Mar 2023 23:53:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1e5462da-5b74-4bb2-9463-37e8ed5ba084_1280x720.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg" width="1280" height="720" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:720,&quot;width&quot;:1280,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:127600,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!C5HY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F16649794-cd4f-47c5-9578-7a8a496ca53c_1280x720.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>&#8220;Well, was it at least a good time?&#8221;, he said out loud in a demonic, crackled voice.</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know. I mean, it&#8217;s always a good time seeing the film. But no one else laughed at the parts when Jack was going apeshit. Those are my favorite bits. My dude was so far off the rails&#8221;, he responded back in his normal, conversational tone.</p><p>Then, he stepped back from the mirror and took a look at himself. The index finger on his right hand was curling-and-extending, back and forth. He held the index finger high, next to his head, at eye-level, and while miming each syllable with the curling motion, he began speaking again in the gnarly, crackled voice:</p><p>&#8220;But you said there were more people in there than you&#8217;d ever seen before?&#8221;</p><p>He then lowered the finger, and spoke in a normal tone:</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, but it didn&#8217;t feel like that diversified any of the reaction. You&#8217;d think it would, right?&#8221;</p><p>He was impersonating the creepy, self-talk mannerism of the little boy from <em>The Shining</em>. He had just come back home from seeing it at the tiny local movie theatre down the street. It&#8217;s a conundrum of a business, really. Only one screen, only two showings a day. But it&#8217;s brave enough to show <em>The Shining</em> on a random Friday in 35mm, so he had to go. He thought the movie was good, though he&#8217;d seen it several times before. </p><p>He raised the demonic index finger and started again in the crackled voice:</p><p>&#8220;Depends on what you expected, I guess.&#8221;</p><p>He lowered the finger.</p><p>&#8220;I never know what to expect. But that&#8217;s exactly what I&#8217;m sayin though. Should I always assume the worst?&#8221;</p><p>Raised the finger.</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know, you tell me.&#8221;</p><p>Lowering the finger.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m just telling you my observations. I don&#8217;t have the answers.&#8221;</p><p>Raising.</p><p>&#8220;Fine, whatever. I thought you needed someone to talk to.&#8221;</p><p>Lowering.</p><p>&#8220;But it&#8217;s like&#8230; I just know how those scenes make me feel. Bro is literally going nuts from cabin fever, hobbling around talking about killing his family and shit, like how do people not find that funny.&#8221;</p><p>Raising.</p><p>&#8220;I see what you mean.&#8221;</p><p>Lowering the finger, he unballed the rest of his fingers, looked down at his hand and chuckled to himself. He was laughing, mostly, at the silly places loneliness could take him. He left his spot in front of the mirror and relocated to the living room couch.</p><p>Outside, there were a ton of leaves on the ground. It was an autumn evening, so the air wasn&#8217;t necessarily cold, but it wasn&#8217;t warm either. He also wouldn&#8217;t know, really, because he was indoors and didn&#8217;t sense that he was leaving anytime soon. Several times, he thought his phone flashed with the notification of a text message, but they were just wanton alerts of sports scores.</p><p>He picked up a gaming controller and turned on the game, navigating his way through different menus. He selected the &#8220;Online Multi-Player&#8221; mode and waited for it to load up.</p><p>It was taking longer than expected. So while waiting, he raised the curling, demonic finger again:</p><p>&#8220;So, you&#8217;re laughing at Jack&#8217;s paranoia because why?&#8221;</p><p>Lowered his finger.</p><p>&#8220;Idunno, it&#8217;s kinda honest.&#8221;</p><p>Raised it.</p><p>&#8220;So you think you would become Jack if you were stuck in that hotel for 3 whole ass months?&#8221;</p><p>Lowered it.</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s not farfetched. I don&#8217;t even know what&#8217;s what anymore. Good thing I don&#8217;t have a family.&#8221;</p><p>Raising:</p><p>&#8220;Good thing you&#8217;re not stuck in a hotel with snow all around you on all sides either.&#8221;</p><p>Lowering:</p><p>&#8220;Sometimes, it feels like that though.&#8221;</p><p>Raising:</p><p>&#8220;Oh, so <em>now</em> this is really what this is about. It was just a movie. It&#8217;s not like you can sympathize that deeply with Jack, bro.&#8221;</p><p>Lowering:</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s why it&#8217;s funny though, because even if there wasn&#8217;t some world-altering storm keeping all them inside, it was still kind of relatable. He just wanted to play.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;He did more than play.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Did he, though?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Bro. You can go places. You just don&#8217;t want to.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, I guess you&#8217;re right.&#8221;</p><p>The game initiation failed. An error message popped up: <em>Internet Not Connected. Online Features Unavailable.</em></p><p>&#8220;Well, damn.&#8221;</p><p>He raised the finger:</p><p>&#8220;Would you look at that. It&#8217;s a sign. And it&#8217;s telling you to just go to Rafael&#8217;s party tonight.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Eh. Still don&#8217;t know how I feel about it.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Talk about it.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Not much to say. It&#8217;s probably the only thing happening tonight, so it&#8217;s complicated.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Get it out. How does it make you feel.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Well, the first thing is that I know if I don&#8217;t go: it&#8217;s going to fuck me up. I&#8217;m going to pretend it&#8217;s not a big deal I&#8217;m missing out and then I&#8217;ma be pissed if I find out anyone had fun. And if I do go, I&#8217;m gonna be in there pretending that it is a big deal, when I know it it&#8217;s not.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;I understand that completely.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Wait, why the fuck are you sympathizing with me? I thought you were supposed to be the instigator.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;True&#8230;</p><p>well&#8230;</p><p>&#8230; don&#8217;t be on some bullshit. Get up! Are you going or not??&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Probably not.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;But think about it. If you don&#8217;t go&#8230; you&#8217;ll be missing out on the only thing worth going to for the next 3 weeks. Can you handle that? You&#8217;re not just missing out tonight&#8230; you&#8217;re missing out for the whole month, bro.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Aight, aight. That&#8217;s dramatic, but I get it.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Do you? <em>Do</em> <em>you</em> get it??&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll think about it.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;No time to think! It&#8217;s starts in 30 minutes!&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Hey. Seriously, bro. Leave me the fuck alone?&#8221;</p><p>Just then, an exacting female voice penetrated the conversation.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry. I didn&#8217;t quite get that,&#8221; she said.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck! Siri, no. Not you. Fuck off right now, thanks.&#8221;</p><p>He got up from the couch, away from failing technology, and moved to the tiny dining table.</p><p>Finger raised:</p><p>&#8220;Well, if you can&#8217;t bring yourself to go out and do the one thing that&#8217;s happening, why are you still here in this small ass town? To find yourself or some shit?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;&#8216;This country ass, fucked up town.&#8217; Yooo, you remember the video of that news reporter who said that shit? I&#8217;m about to pull that up. Maybe tonight is a YouTube rabbit hole night.&#8221;</p><p>The raising finger stopped him from opening the YouTube app on his phone:</p><p>&#8220;Stop deflecting. What are you fleeing?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know? Fine. Sure, this place is refuge for now. But James Baldwin did that shit, too. He did it for 9 years. He turned out alright.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s what the history books tried to tell us. And I don&#8217;t trust history books.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;I mean, as you shouldn&#8217;t. I guess. But it wasn&#8217;t like a history book. It was his own writing that told us that.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Oh.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;But I do think about that, too, to your point. Like was he being for real? Like maybe there was some part of him at the time of his departure that was just like &#8216;fuck it, who the hell knows why I&#8217;m doing this. I&#8217;m fed up, yeah, but I&#8217;m also just a little confused: We out to Paris.&#8217;&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;That&#8217;s probably exactly what he did. Then he tried to make it sound flowery afterwards. Bro was probably was just trying to get some french dick and found god in the meantime.&#8221;</p><p>He laughed loudly at that in the non-crackled voice. </p><p>Then continued in it:</p><p>&#8220;Can you imagine a James Baldwin in Paris film, but in the style of <em>The Shining</em>?&#8221;</p><p>Raising the finger, this time with real emphasis:</p><p>&#8220;&#8216;All work and no play makes Jack Baldwin a dull nigga.&#8217;&#8221;</p><p>Laughter. Lowering it:</p><p>&#8220;He eventually goes so crazy that the real cabin fever crime is he ends up going back to America. That&#8217;s worse than killing your family with an axe, for real.&#8221;</p><p>More laughs. Raising it:</p><p>&#8220;You should write that down.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m about to right now.&#8221;</p><p>He pulled out his phone and mouthed the words, in a normal tone, as he typed:</p><p>&#8220;<em>Black man&#8230; in&#8230;. strange land&#8230; knows no one&#8230; eventually goes so crazy&#8230; he&#8230; threatens to kill all the Parisians&#8230; movie ends&#8230; with him&#8230; exiled&#8230; back in&#8230; America... freezing&#8230; to death&#8230;</em>&#8221;</p><p>He put the phone down and raised that finger again:</p><p>&#8220;Wait, hold up. Fuck that. We getting sidetracked. Are you going to this party or not??&#8221;</p><p>Lowering it:</p><p>&#8220;Party is a <em>strong</em> word, my friend. But yeah, lemme get ready. I&#8217;ll prolly go.&#8221;</p><p>Raising it one last time:</p><p>&#8220;Bet.&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:454483,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vgz-!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bf7147b-7ea4-4798-83ed-d20cfd11fb1d_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Adventures of SingleContext-Man: Vol. 1]]></title><description><![CDATA[&#8220;Oh my god! It&#8217;s so big!&#8221;, she gasped. He chuckled confidently. &#8220;Uh ha. Well, of course it is.&#8221;]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-adventures-of-singlecontext-man</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-adventures-of-singlecontext-man</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 01 Mar 2023 01:37:41 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1c85df49-3c83-45c8-9090-2d250514bcc9_1224x766.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png" width="1224" height="766" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:766,&quot;width&quot;:1224,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:627490,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dOtP!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc622740d-15eb-44d2-8774-3f012da61105_1224x766.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>&#8220;Oh my god! It&#8217;s so big!&#8221;, she gasped.</p><p>He chuckled confidently.</p><p>&#8220;Uh ha. Well, of course it is.&#8221;</p><p>He had just taken his head scarf off and his bulbous, glowing, bald head caught the moonlight. There was baby-making music playing in the background and his abnormally giant cranium pulsed in conjunction with the 808s coming out of the stereo system. She couldn&#8217;t take her eyes off the source of his power.</p><p>He began taking off the rest of his clothes.</p><p>&#8220;Oh wow! And your dick is a pretty nice size, too.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Wow. Thank you. I actually really appreciate that.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s just like, look at you. Look at that head of yours. I&#8217;m just&#8212;you&#8217;re so handsome&#8230; I just don&#8217;t know what to&#8212;&#8220;</p><p>He pressed his finger to her lips.</p><p>&#8220;Hush.&#8221;</p><p>He took that same finger and slid off the strap on her left shoulder.</p><p>&#8220;Now come here, girl.&#8221;</p><div><hr></div><p>The next morning he woke up with a smile on his face. Blinking his eyes open, he turned over to look at the woman sleeping in his bed. She was fast asleep. With his eyes finally adjusted to the morning light, he looked up and on the ceiling was a taped 24 by 36 inch poster of Soulja Boy, staring back at him.</p><p>&#8220;Yes, sir. You already know.&#8221; he said strongly.</p><p>Immediately, he hopped out of the bed and darted for the bathroom to start his morning routine.</p><p>The bathroom sink was lined with all kinds of products, but they were neatly organized from smallest to largest in terms of bottle size. He hummed a tune as he brushed his teeth in strong, vigorous strokes until he had to gargle and spit. </p><p>Then, in a near-single fluid motion, he swept through his entire skincare routine with utter precision, plucking bottles and returning them to formation. He splashed ointment dollops onto his palm in perfectly proportioned amounts, and covered his skin with different substances until his face bore a dense, natural glitter. He took one look in the mirror at himself and smiled.</p><p>&#8220;Yessir. You already know.&#8221;</p><p>Lastly, he moved to an abnormally wide tub at the end of the line of bottles. He spun open the top and scooped out a creamy lavender-colored gunk, working it between his hands. He smacked the substance onto his oversized bald head, sculpting it like icing on top of a cupcake, and then massaged it through until it was absorbed by his brown, glowing scalp. Another look in mirror.</p><p>&#8220;Yessir! You already know.&#8221;</p><p>He then brushed through his luscious beard, took one last look in the mirror, smiled, and started off.</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg" width="792" height="477" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:477,&quot;width&quot;:792,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:111026,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HFZe!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19f5cb40-38dd-4773-b33c-a7e903a97541_792x477.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>He pulled up to work in a small, efficient electric vehicle. Pulling the keys out of the ignition, he spun them around his finger&#8212;via the keyring&#8212;5 times before exiting.</p><div><hr></div><p>He sat down in a row of empty spectator seats, right next to Hecky Nawlings, the star player for one of the best teams in the biggest American sports league and one of the most famous men on the planet. Hecky was sitting courtside at a private players&#8217; practice, the morning before a big game. </p><p>He thrust his microphone into Hecky&#8217;s face, to which Hecky didn&#8217;t much flinch.</p><p>&#8220;So, Hecky, how do you do it?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Well, you know. I just stay in my lane. It&#8217;s all about the work, for me. I think about everything I&#8217;ve been through, all the repetition and hard work, which centers me to my purpose in between those lines and just, well&#8230; I just play.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Mmmmm, beautiful. And for the fans who hear that and go &#8216;That guy is just like me.&#8217; You know, the ones that look to you for motivation. What do you have to say to them?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Keep at it. Whatever you&#8217;re doing. Just stay focused, and keep at it. Keep going. That&#8217;s life.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Spoken like a true champ. Thanks so much for doing this, Hecky.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;As always, my friend.&#8221;</p><p>Before leaving, Hecky gave him a hearty fist-bump and rubbed the top of our journalist&#8217;s head. On this contact, the large head glowed with warmth and then it pulsed to the same pattern as the Grindin&#8217; beat. Smiling, he got up and moved to a nearby table and began to type away frantically into his laptop, transcribing what he learned from Hecky&#8217;s interview for immediate publication.</p><div><hr></div><p><em>BRRRRRMMMMP!</em></p><p>The buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game.</p><p>He hurried from his courtside media seat to the post-game press conference room, where most of the room was waiting for Hecky to arrive. </p><p>Hecky, fresh from an amazing performance and a clutch team win, entered the room, stretching his legs comfortably at the podium. From the podium&#8217;s point of view, there is a hand feverishly waving above a big ass bald head, hoping to catch more attention than the other esteemed journalists in the room.</p><p>&#8220;You, sir, with the extremely large head,&#8221; ordered the podium manager, noticing this activity.</p><p>&#8220;Hecky, it&#8217;s me again&#8230;&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;My guy! Long time, no see,&#8221; said Hecky.</p><p>&#8220;Haha! Good one. Hecky, before the game, you said something along the lines of &#8216;Just doing my thing and staying in my lane&#8217;. I thought that was the key to tonight&#8217;s win. But frankly&#8230; I&#8217;ve been covering you for what feels like my whole career and your message has hardly changed much. Is this still a good way to describe your feelings about your performance, even after all these years?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Why, of course, yes it is. And thanks for that question.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Do you have any more to add?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Well, yeah. I would say I just try to keep at it, every single day, and take what they give me out there. I trust the hard work, and I just go out there and leave it all on the floor.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Mm-mmmm-mm! Well said!&#8221;, our protagonist shouted.</p><p>&#8220;Haha, my man.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Thank you, Hecky.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Anytime, brotha.&#8221;</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg" width="792" height="477" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:477,&quot;width&quot;:792,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:100732,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4TV7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe921b45c-a1ee-4a48-b3fb-8d9a3a45845f_792x477.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>&#8220;1&#8230;</p><p>2&#8230;</p><p>3&#8230;</p><p>4&#8230;</p><p>5.&#8221;</p><p>He counted the number of keyring spins and then put the key into the ignition, while humming the same tune he hummed brushing his teeth that morning. </p><p>He drove home from the facility as the moon rose higher into the night sky. </p><div><hr></div><p>Pulling into the driveway to his house, he noticed something was off.</p><p>&#8220;Wait, that&#8217;s weird.&#8221;</p><p>One of the bulbs on the lighted-path to his front door was flickering on and off. He turned the car off and got out to check it out. Before he got a few paces, he gasped.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck!&#8221;</p><p>He quickly ran back in the car, sat down in the driver&#8217;s seat and frantically spun the keyring 5 times. He could feel his head vibrating and his adrenaline rising. He closed his eyes tight and waited for the ringing sensation to subside. After a few moments, he took a deep breath, gathered his belongings and scurried into the house.</p><div><hr></div><p>&#8220;Honey! I&#8217;m here.&#8221;</p><p>A distant female voice registered his arrival:</p><p>&#8220;Okay! How was your day?&#8221;</p><p>&#8212;as he took the time to take off his shoes and put his things down in their designated spots by the front door.</p><p>&#8220;You already know! Another one for the books, what can I say? Hecky was phenomenal today.&#8221;</p><p>The voice, coming from an upstairs room, still shouting:</p><p>&#8220;Oh, of course. Isn&#8217;t he great every day?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;You can say that again!&#8221;</p><p>Once he was free of all his work things, he reached for a large head scarf on a nearby hanger and wrapped it around his enormous scalp, covering every inch of it comfortably.</p><p>&#8220;Were you able to get something to eat on your way home?&#8221;, the distant voice asked.</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, they had food in the media room I was able to get my hands on!&#8221; he shouted back.</p><p>There was a slight pause in conversation.</p><p>&#8220;Well. Whenever you&#8217;re ready, sweetie, I&#8217;m up here!&#8221;, she offered.</p><div><hr></div><p>Once he got to the top of the stairs, he could hear a soulful tune floating through the cracked door to his bedroom.</p><p>&#8220;There you are. Are you ready?&#8221;, he heard from the other side of the door.</p><p>&#8220;Oh, you know it.&#8221;, he responded.</p><p>As he flung the bedroom door open, a curvy silhouette was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her shape was only legible courtesy of the moonlight backlighting her.</p><p>&#8220;Welcome home, hubby.&#8221;</p><p>He walked over to her, and stood above her. Even in the flat darkness, he could tell she was giving him the most seductive of eyes. </p><p>&#8220;You already know&#8230; wifey.&#8221;</p><p>He proceeded to take off his head scarf.</p><p>&#8220;Oh my god! It&#8217;s so big!&#8221;, she gasped.</p><p>He chuckled confidently.</p><p>&#8220;Uh ha. Well, of course it is.&#8221;</p><p>His bulbous, glowing, bald head caught the moonlight. The baby-making music playing in the background caused his abnormally giant cranium to pulse in conjunction with the 808s coming out of the stereo system. </p><p>The woman&#8212;his wife of 9 years&#8212;couldn&#8217;t take her eyes off the source of his power. And just like that, they got right into their nightly ritual.</p><p>He began taking off the rest of his clothes.</p><p>&#8220;Oh wow! And your dick is a pretty nice size, too.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Wow. Thank you. I actually really appreciate that.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s just like, look at you. Look at that head of yours. I&#8217;m just&#8212;you&#8217;re so handsome&#8230; I just don&#8217;t know what to&#8212;&#8220;</p><p>He pressed his finger to her lips.</p><p>&#8220;Hush.&#8221;</p><p>He took that same finger and slid off the strap on her left shoulder.</p><p>&#8220;Now come here, girl.&#8221;</p><p>He threw his wife back onto the bed and they proceeded to make love, holding each other tight as they stared directly into each other&#8217;s eyes.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck me harder!&#8221; she yelled.</p><p>He grunted.</p><p>&#8220;Look at you with this big ass fucking head!&#8221; she followed up.</p><p>He grunted again, but deeper this time.</p><p>&#8220;You fuckin me, ain&#8217;t you?&#8221;, she asked, looking deep in his eyes.</p><p>&#8220;Damn right, baby. Now look at my shit!&#8221;, he jawed back.</p><p>&#8220;Oooh! Yeah??&#8221;, as her eyes darted upward.</p><p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t take your eyes off my shit! You hear me?&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Hell no I won&#8217;t!&#8221; she screamed, eyes fixated on his endless scalp.</p><p>&#8220;Matter fact, hold my shit while you ride this shit!&#8221;</p><p>She dug her grip into the firm flesh of his gigantic head, palming it like a basketball, and off that action, it warmed and glowed red with sensation.</p><p>&#8220;Fuck yeah, I&#8217;m holding this big ass head of yours while you fuckin me like this!&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Now lick it!&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Lick this shit??&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, lick it!&#8221;</p><p>She licked it. </p><p>He let off a deep, deep grunt.</p><p>It went on like this for ~7 more minutes, before he finished and they fell into each other&#8217;s arms, exhausted.</p><div><hr></div><p>Deep, deep breaths filled the air as the married couple, post-event, settled into their respective sides of the bed, ready to fall asleep.</p><p>As he drifted off, his eyes gradually closed. But just as they were almost fully shut, he noticed a dark figure moving around in the room.</p><p>He jolted himself awake. </p><p>It was his wife, almost out the door.</p><p>&#8220;What are you doing? Why aren&#8217;t you in bed?&#8221;, he asked.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m just feeling a little restless, I&#8217;m gonna go downstairs and watch some TV.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Wait, what do you mean? After&#8212;you know, the thing&#8212;we usually fall asleep here until morning.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, yeah I know sweetie. But, tonight I wanted to try something else tonight before I fell asleep.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry I don&#8217;t understand. We&#8217;re supposed to stay here&#8212;in the bed&#8212;until tomorrow morning. That&#8217;s just how it works.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;Baby, I&#8217;m gonna be here in the morning when you wake up.&#8221;</p><p>His head, still slightly red from the activity, started to vibrate from stress. He closed his eyes in agony and started to take some deep breaths.</p><p>&#8220;Okay, okay, okay. Go back to sleep. I&#8217;ll be right here.&#8221;</p><p>She walked back around to her side of the bed, and got under the covers.</p><p>He sighed, and before long he fell into a deep, well-earned slumber.</p><div><hr></div><p>The next morning, he awoke, but he wasn&#8217;t smiling like the previous morning.</p><p>Something felt different.</p><p>He turned over and his wife next to him was wide awake staring directly at the ceiling. She looked at him and gave a hesitant half-smile, as if to appease.</p><p>He rolled out of bed&#8212;neglecting to look up at the ceiling&#8212;and made his way to bathroom, groggily moving through his morning routine. By the time he came back out, his wife was no longer in the bed.</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg" width="792" height="477" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:477,&quot;width&quot;:792,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:100997,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DRto!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F494fa77e-7f7f-427f-b4f1-42ad891106bb_792x477.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>He arrived at the facility, hoping to make the most of another private players&#8217; practice before a big game, but after waiting for an hour: Hecky was nowhere to be found. </p><p>He questioned a few of Hecky&#8217;s teammates, but they did not have much to add about his absence. On the opposite side of the court, other media members, also looking for a pre-game soundbite, speculated about the mysterious absence amongst themselves. </p><p>&#8220;He must be saving his energy! Hecky&#8217;s not one to skip out on pre-game.&#8221;, he shouted across at the other journalists.</p><p>They all looked his direction, offered no response and went back to their conversations.</p><p>He sat quietly in the empty row and practiced his keyring spins until it was game time.</p><div><hr></div><p>Post-game, Hecky lumbered into the press-conference room, seemingly anxious and jittery. Before he even had a chance to get settled, all the hands in the room jolted to the ceiling.</p><p>&#8220;I just want to say a few things before we get into any questions,&#8221; Hecky offered.</p><p>The hands lowered back down. Except for one.</p><p>Our bulbous-headed protagonist pushed against this and kept his hand raised and frantic, hoping to get some special treatment.</p><p>&#8220;That means you too, brotha,&#8221; Hecky said aloud.</p><p>His hand slowly lowered.</p><p>&#8220;I wanted to explain my poor performance tonight as well as address some other&#8230;important&#8230; happenings in my life.</p><p>And&#8230; well&#8230;</p><p>That&#8217;s because, effective immediately, I am shifting careers.</p><p>I no longer want to play this game.</p><p>My athletic prowess has taken me to new heights, and I am thankful for all the blessings it has afforded me, but it&#8217;s time to hang it up. This context you know me in has served its purpose. Rather, it has run its course. I will be taking some time for myself and consulting with my family to decide which of my side interests I will pursue next.&#8221;</p><p>A wide-eyed, frantic <em>hush</em> fell over the media personnel in attendance. The most popular player in the game had just sworn against the sport he single-handedly popularized and was pivoting right before their eyes.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry this is coming so abruptly, but I felt there was no need to prolong it any further. I want to thank the fans, the media&#8212;many of whom I have great relationships with&#8212;and most certainly my peers and fellow players. I hope my path can be informative for those who may be going through something similar.&#8221;</p><p>All of the hands in the room shot up, while pulsating camera flashes punctuated this surprise historic moment.</p><p>&#8220;No further questions,&#8221; said Hecky firmly, as he walked off the podium.  </p><p>Every single member of the media rushed after Hecky, who made a swift path towards the exit of the stadium. The entire room of journalists, photographers and team security emptied and spilled out into the hallways, following the commotion. </p><p>Except for one.</p><p>There he sat, slack-jawed and still. The large, bulbous dome sitting above him had lost its color, and it&#8217;s shape looked more shrunken and deflated than usual. </p><p>&#8220;What&#8230;..&#8221;</p><p>Stuck in a state of shock, he stared off into the distance, murmuring to himself, unable to process the news he just heard.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8230; don&#8217;t&#8230;</p><p>&#8230; understand&#8230;</p><p>wh&#8230;at&#8230;.. do I do&#8230;</p><p>&#8230;. now&#8230;.?&#8221;<br></p><h4><strong>TO BE CONTINUED</strong></h4><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:414746,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mdhn!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb3bb1ff1-07fc-4907-86f1-8363f050a30e_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The star players are sleeping around]]></title><description><![CDATA[A note about the NBA All-Star Weekend]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-star-players-are-sleeping-around</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/the-star-players-are-sleeping-around</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 22 Feb 2023 01:06:09 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg" width="1456" height="1133" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1133,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:363580,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WqdS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F306875da-a8e6-44b2-8980-6c02f616f7f3_2048x1594.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>The NBA All-Star Weekend is struggling to compete with the excitement of the NBA Trade Deadline. </p><p>The former, an explosive mid-season tradition of celebrating of the league&#8217;s brightest stars has, after many years, become <strong>inevitable</strong>. </p><p>As a kid, I lived for this inevitability. When the 2002 All-Star Game was held in Philly, I went to &#8220;<em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-llEA-RscY">Jam Session</a></em>&#8221; <em>twice</em>. All grown up now, I <em>guess</em> I can concede that these kinds of &#8220;pop-up&#8221; experiences happen in different forms&#8212;with different names&#8212;in the host cities every single year. Hordes of marketing teams converge on the town with an interest in making All-Star Weekend as splashy as possible for the folks who are from that city. If you never get a chance to see the brightest stars up close, at the actual game, there&#8217;s still plenty happening for you to see. This is inevitable. </p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png" width="1456" height="915" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:915,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:4008491,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aXhW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0f5d5918-4c1f-45ab-aedf-58dc0e7cacc3_2406x1512.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>But back then, &#8220;<em>Jam Session</em>&#8221; was just for me. It was just for Philly. It felt like a pure celebration of the cultural chokehold Allen Iverson had over the city, the league, and my eyeballs. It felt like the daily backdrop of my 11-year old world had suddenly become the epicenter of the basketball world. At <em>Jam Session</em>, all kinds of celebration was possible: Play arcade-style basketball shooting games &#8594; Get a chance to win a limited edition gold Sixers jersey &#8594; Test out the new Jordans &#8594; Catch a musical performance, and perhaps a celebrity sighting.</p><p>10 years later, I would end up in Orlando at another All-Star Weekend, but this time as part of one of these marketing teams.</p><div class="instagram" data-attrs="{&quot;instagram_id&quot;:&quot;HXDm_2wzAT&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;A post shared by Bryan G. (@yanville)&quot;,&quot;author_name&quot;:&quot;yanville&quot;,&quot;thumbnail_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/__ss-rehost__IG-HXDm_2wzAT.jpg&quot;,&quot;timestamp&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false}" data-component-name="InstagramToDOM"><div class="instagram-top-bar"><a class="instagram-author-name" href="https://instagram.com/yanville" target="_blank">yanville</a></div><a class="instagram-image" href="https://instagram.com/p/HXDm_2wzAT" target="_blank"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!bxrO!,w_640,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F__ss-rehost__IG-HXDm_2wzAT.jpg"></a><div class="instagram-bottom-bar"><div class="instagram-title">A post shared by Bryan G. (<a href="https://instagram.com/yanville" target="_blank">@yanville</a>)</div></div></div><p>Things from this side were different: I didn&#8217;t necessarily have the city loyalty to get swept up in, even though fanfare was all around me. I was there on business. And as a soldier of the annual pop-up regime, you were there to do your job. </p><p>But let&#8217;s keep it real, bro. This is still All-Star Weekend. I&#8217;m still a wide-eyed fan. I still love basketball. If there was even a chance you could get close to the stars&#8212;even if you had to use your privileged marketing credentials to enable it&#8212; there&#8217;s no question. </p><p>You would still do it.</p><blockquote><p>&#8220;Yooo, pssst, there go Melo. He just walked in.&#8221;</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>&#8220;They saying LeBron is supposed to make an appearance today at the Nike Store. We should make our way out there just in case.&#8221;</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>&#8220;Floyd Mayweather having a party, they saying 50 Cent might show up.&#8221;</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>&#8220;Was that Kirko Bangz??&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>At some point, this mission-based orientation around the festivities became its own adventure. Once outside the job, there was nothing more fun, or more <em>exciting</em>, than seeing how close you could get to the stars. They were all here, in one place.</p><p>Long story short, that mission came to fruition. Through a friend who worked at AMEX at the time (good looks Peter!!), me and my friends Ellington &amp; Vinny lucked out on some box seats to not only the NBA All-Star Saturday Night festivities (Dunk Contest, 3-Point Shootout), but we also got tickets to the actual <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_NBA_All-Star_Game">2012 NBA All-Star Game.</a></p><p>Not a game.</p><p>Not just any game.</p><p>But <strong>THE</strong> All-Star Game.</p><div class="instagram" data-attrs="{&quot;instagram_id&quot;:&quot;Hcx-KNQzJ4&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;A post shared by Bryan G. (@yanville)&quot;,&quot;author_name&quot;:&quot;yanville&quot;,&quot;thumbnail_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/__ss-rehost__IG-Hcx-KNQzJ4.jpg&quot;,&quot;timestamp&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true}" data-component-name="InstagramToDOM"><div class="instagram-top-bar"><a class="instagram-author-name" href="https://instagram.com/yanville" target="_blank">yanville</a></div><a class="instagram-image" href="https://instagram.com/p/Hcx-KNQzJ4" target="_blank"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S5QP!,w_640,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F__ss-rehost__IG-Hcx-KNQzJ4.jpg" loading="lazy"></a><div class="instagram-bottom-bar"><div class="instagram-title">A post shared by Bryan G. (<a href="https://instagram.com/yanville" target="_blank">@yanville</a>)</div></div></div><p>I got to watch the 24 best players in the world hoop against each other, in person, with very little distance. It was beyond inevitable. It felt ordained.</p><p>I got to see D-Wade hoop against Kobe, in the <em>same</em> game that Lebron was going against Kevin Durant. From where I was sitting, I got to see the small, micro-interactions between these megastars that highlighted just why the NBA&#8217;s core product sparkled so much. I got to see the jovial trash talk, and assess the vibe in the room amongst hooper royalty. Stuff you could never see anywhere else.</p><p>Shit was crazy.</p><p>So crazy.</p><p>But it was also kinda sexual.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png" width="1024" height="626" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:626,&quot;width&quot;:1024,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1390031,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7h-i!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0cd56f4f-7b5d-489e-beb7-26217a13de8d_1024x626.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>That&#8217;s because growing up, there was an organic naughtiness to All-Star Weekend. In 2002, as a kid going to Philly&#8217;s pop-up events, I didn&#8217;t know this consciously. But I acted on it. And the subsequent years: same thing.</p><p>There was a lack of monogamy to the weekend that made it&#8212;elegantly so&#8212;scandalous.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png" width="1182" height="548" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:548,&quot;width&quot;:1182,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1347626,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!S-Tw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33224d6c-ba46-40b6-a81a-bbe20be13273_1182x548.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>You really weren&#8217;t supposed to see two players from division rivals playing on the same team, let alone interacting. But that fantasy is what made the weekend exhilarating. Because what those marketing teams&#8212;tasked with organizing the NBA&#8217;s grand product into a 3-day carnival&#8212;may or may not have known is that the taboo was the engine. It was the secret ingredient that pulled fans like me closer to the fray.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png" width="1456" height="786" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:786,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:2416031,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!28Yr!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89854ae7-c159-477d-b76d-0e31579ad748_1678x906.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>That secret ingredient, for instance, was Vince Carter stepping out on Toronto. His Raptor teammates&#8212;his season-long diehard partners&#8212;for a moment&#8230; they did not exist. And Allen Iverson, ambassador to our blue-collar 76er emblem, was actually stepping out on Philadelphia: to spend a night with Vince Carter. T-Mac wasn&#8217;t supposed to have this much fun spending the weekend going right at Kobe Bryant&#8217;s neck, right? How was Orlando supposed to feel?</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png" width="972" height="764" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:764,&quot;width&quot;:972,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1381387,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SFiD!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8047f18e-41df-4fc2-9f4b-1409308ef546_972x764.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>The All-Star Game, at it&#8217;s core, was an invite-only, star-hooper orgy. </p><p>A momentary break from the franchise contract.</p><p>Enabled once every year.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg" width="1456" height="779" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/dea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:779,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:231507,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ENo7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea1ac3f-bfc4-449c-86b5-639ea2a3f762_2955x1581.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>And so:</p><p>The 2023 All-Star Game, and all its subsidiary events, was held this past weekend in Utah, one year after a decorated 75th NBA anniversary. And it, like all the previous star-studded weekends, was inevitable. </p><p>Except this time, it truly felt like the inevitability was the problem.</p><p>It dragged on. It lacked virality. It rehashed narratives all of us NBA fans are overly saturated with at this point. Broadcast jargon felt awkward and calculated, very often. It celebrated <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/yanville/p/smh-if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time?r=6lqc9&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web">milestones</a> so immediately soon after they just happened, and so soon after we already celebrated them. It avoided all the elephants in the room. Most of all, it happened directly following <a href="https://sports.yahoo.com/nba-twitter-reacts-kyrie-irving-191023661.html">a wild flurry of early-February off-court NBA drama.</a></p><p>And really, the weekend wasn&#8217;t even all that bad. It was just clear that it wasn&#8217;t the main event anymore. There was barely any buildup. There was even less of a release.</p><p>The truth is, this year&#8217;s All-Star Weekend appeared far more drab precisely because the looming Player Movement Spectacle&#8212;punctuated most recently by the wild ass February 9th trade deadline&#8212;has made the steamy, lust-filled, hypothetical off-court player activity <strong>far</strong> more enticing than the routine, missionary, vanilla on-court player reality. </p><blockquote><p>POLL: With KD on the Suns, are they the favorites?</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>THOUGHTS? Will Kyrie stay happy playing for the Mavericks?</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>BREAKING: How many championships will Lebron win with Miami?</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>THROWBACK: How many rings would CP3 and Kobe have won together?</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>JUST IN: Do X and Y get along after their split?</p></blockquote><p>As spectators, this constant movement&#8212;the ever-revolving jersey swap&#8212;has made the local threesome a permanent possibility for us. It might not be the 24 best stars parading around a single city for a weekend, but it could be 3 or 4, cuddling up together under one roof for a lil while. </p><p>We&#8217;ll take that deal. And we&#8217;ve taken it often.</p><p>And as players, this constant movement&#8212;the power to put on any ol&#8217; jersey&#8212;has made legacy chess moves a primary calling for most. You may burn some bridges, but the challenge of architecting your own narrative has been whittled down to protecting your &#8216;brand&#8217;&#8212;or rather, your ability to fuck whoever, at any time.</p><p>They&#8217;ll take that deal. And they&#8217;ve taken it often.</p><p>But in other words, it means the true orgy will never return.</p><p>The annual 3-day celebration of franchise stars from every corner of North America, stepping out on their stay-at-home fanbases to engage in some consensual nasty shit with the other high-profile stars, for all of us to see? </p><p>Well, it&#8217;s over.</p><p>That is never going to happen again.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png" width="1246" height="908" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/da68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:908,&quot;width&quot;:1246,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:2357622,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LOdO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda68488e-f951-44fe-ae3f-86567cb4eb14_1246x908.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>I guess this hard truth&#8212;this loss&#8212;has been years in the making, and it&#8217;s not exactly traceable. It mixes with notions of player empowerment, and thusly load management; with the influx of media coverage; with the intense visibility of NBA players as megabrands, post George Floyd. All that shit is there.</p><p>So something&#8217;s broken, right?</p><p>Hell if I know.</p><p>Lmao I just wanna feel something again.</p><p><em>Would All-Star Weekend be more exciting with a 1-on-1 tournament? A fight to the death, Gladiator-style?</em></p><p>Sure, but maybe we should let <a href="https://twitter.com/ShamsCharania">Shams</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/wojespn?s=20">Woj</a> go first. They are, after all, the real stars of this era.</p><p><em>Does the Dunk Contest need to be revised?</em></p><p>Maybe, but if the NBA outsources the necessary showmanship&#8212;a requirement to compete with the juicy off-court drama&#8212;to amateur talent, is it still an NBA event?</p><p><em>Are NBA players burnt out from being 24/7 entertainment?</em></p><p>Who knows. But whatever their answer is to this&#8230; it&#8217;ll prolly be entertaining.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png" width="1456" height="588" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:588,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:3509500,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iAJG!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F70b2abc9-9c6a-469a-a3a7-9c244d1a8ff6_2074x838.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>When we&#8217;re this close to every micro-interaction between these megabranded stars, as they all rub up against each other in every news cycle, it can be difficult to see what&#8217;s what. All that bodily friction can cloud our judgment. It&#8217;s hard to know what, or who, <em>comes</em> next.</p><p>In some ways, when I was at <em>Jam Session</em> in 2002, miles from the actual stadium and unable to fathom getting a glimpse of an NBA player, I was closer to the true celebration than I ever have been in my entire life. I was closer to my own excitement. There was an authentic buildup. And by the time I sat on my couch to watch the All-Star Game that Sunday night, it was easy enough to revel in the release.</p><p>It hasn&#8217;t felt the same since.</p><div><hr></div><p>A lot of questions about what the NBA is actually celebrating at All-Star Weekend will be raised. There will be calls to cancel the weekend altogether. Some imagination will be required. Next year, many new, fresh and even good ideas will be implemented. Like I said, a celebration of the best ball handlers in the world is inevitable.</p><p>But that doesn&#8217;t mean it inevitably gets you off.<br><br><strong>&#8212;bgs<br></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><h6><br><br>All-Star Weekend 2002 images used courtesy of Getty: Manny Milan, Andrew Bernstein, Andy Hayt and Noren Trotman</h6>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Thank you for choosing CUZTOM CAPTIONZ, LLC]]></title><description><![CDATA[Dial 1-800-CALL-CAP today for a free quote]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/thank-you-for-choosing-cuztom-captionz</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/thank-you-for-choosing-cuztom-captionz</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 14 Feb 2023 23:19:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg" width="728" height="485.5" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:false,&quot;imageSize&quot;:&quot;normal&quot;,&quot;height&quot;:971,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:728,&quot;bytes&quot;:3674751,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IBk6!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45994b09-f4d6-4484-9475-95cf9b64576c_6000x4000.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>One of our interns asked a question in a meeting the other day: &#8220;How come we charge so little for such an essential service?&#8221; And all of the seasoned employees chuckled at that question. Because he&#8217;s right about one thing: what we do is essential. </p><p>But oh, what you fail to grasp, silly little intern, is that &#8220;service&#8221; is the key word there. Serving our customers is priceless.</p><p>I turned to that intern and said, very simply, &#8220;It&#8217;s precisely because we are in the service business that makes us HAPPY to do it. Everything else comes after, even price.&#8221; </p><p>It took him a while to comprehend, as most of our internal processes have, but I could see the idea starting to materialize for him.</p><p>So why is this so important to us?</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg" width="1170" height="593" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:593,&quot;width&quot;:1170,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:110719,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XdRv!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b1a2501-3a12-4e20-a51a-076849114dfd_1170x593.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Don&#8217;t know what to do here? We can help!</figcaption></figure></div><p>Because at <strong>Cuztom Captionz, LLC </strong>your happiness is our happiness<strong>.</strong> We know exactly what it&#8217;s like to open the Instagram app and want to tell the world who you are, but have to let the picture do the talking. </p><p>And that might lead you to think your caption should describe in great detail exactly what the photo means to you. You might even want to write a letter about what your mind state was at the time of it being taken. Or even <em>worse</em>: you might feel like you should describe exactly what&#8217;s going on in the photo&#8230; in words!</p><p>But no one should ever have to stoop that low. And we won&#8217;t put you through that. It is our pleasure to shoulder that burden.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg" width="728" height="485.5" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:false,&quot;imageSize&quot;:&quot;normal&quot;,&quot;height&quot;:971,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:728,&quot;bytes&quot;:2817278,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-83H!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff79e3457-15e1-4c9e-ade9-a9422fb25c27_6720x4480.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Who you gonna call? Us!</figcaption></figure></div><p>Because he still looked terribly confused, I took a moment to turn it back on the young, chirping intern by asking <em>him</em> a question: &#8220;Think about it, are <em>you</em> going to be the one to explain &#8216;engagement&#8217; to our customers?&#8221;</p><p>His pupils dilated and he waived a finger at me. I knew I had him. </p><p>He gulped, and said he was never going back to that &#8220;old job, where they would use that word every other sentence.&#8221; </p><p>That&#8217;s exactly right. </p><p>I responded softly, &#8220;That&#8217;s exactly right. So you see my point. We&#8217;re trained to be client-first so we don&#8217;t have to deal with questions like that. Our clients want to express themselves, and that&#8217;s our only goal. We don&#8217;t worry them with other notions.&#8221; </p><p>He was quiet for the rest of the day. But thankfully, it allowed him to stop being so damn inquisitive, and get more work done to service our lovely clients. </p><p>Clients, hopefully, just like <em>you</em>.<br><br><strong>OUR PROMISE:</strong></p><p>Here at <strong>Cuztom Captions, LLC</strong> we&#8217;re committed to providing you the best way to describe your new aesthetic. We&#8217;ve sourced the best talent from around the country&#8212;many of them volunteers&#8212;and they&#8217;re working around the clock to fit your needs. These experts have been working in social media creation for the better part of a decade and they know exactly what it takes. They won&#8217;t limit you to the most recent drake song hook, or even a lil baby lyric that could easily appear on someone else&#8217;s profile. We want YOU to shine, and our personnel is very cognizant of that.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg" width="1456" height="971" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:971,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:3696291,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8auq!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd4f0918f-6117-44ed-b8bc-21f68f56f822_6720x4480.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">is our staff working hard or hardly working? &#128545;&#128545;&#128545;&#128517;&#128514;</figcaption></figure></div><p><strong>The process is simple:</strong></p><p>You send us a link to your instagram @username and a compressed JPEG (no more than 4MB please) of the photo you need a caption for. But before we ever look at it, we ask you to answer a few questions about what you were feeling in the moment when you posed for the picture. Is it something about what you were doing in the photo? Should we draw attention to the shoes, the hat, the whole fit? Let us know. Speaking indirectly to someone in your past? Tell us a little bit about them. </p><p>Our <strong>Photo Last, Feeling First&#8482; </strong>approach ensures that you get to get out all the emotions you need before we even look at the photo in question. Our experts take all the pressure off of posting anxiety.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg" width="1456" height="971" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:971,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1780820,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZcYt!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6a82f20b-e65c-49c7-bb32-c6e2c441c156_6538x4359.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">thinking of a master caption</figcaption></figure></div><p>Once we have a sense of what you&#8217;re looking for and your follower base, we&#8217;ll set you up with one of our experts for an in-depth 1-on-1 conversation. Here, we get right to the heart of the matter and allow you to go deep on what you&#8217;re looking to express.</p><p>We then use that to cook up a fully bespoke caption (typically takes 2-3 business days), which you can copy/paste into the text field and share immediately to your followers. Don&#8217;t forget to credit the photog! But no attribution is needed on our part. </p><p>It&#8217;s really that simple.</p><p>So call us today. </p><p>Our motto is: <em>get a free quote from us so you don&#8217;t have to quote anyone else.</em></p><h5>-Gummo Nelson,<br>Floor Manager at Cuztom Captionz, LLC</h5><h4><strong><br>SAMPLES OF OUR WORK:</strong></h4><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!bILB!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F001c88a5-b6d2-4a52-870f-a60212015e9f_3091x2048.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!bILB!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F001c88a5-b6d2-4a52-870f-a60212015e9f_3091x2048.jpeg 424w, 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https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dB1G!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29135589-b26d-46bd-9355-b69799ec3bd3_2750x105.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dB1G!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29135589-b26d-46bd-9355-b69799ec3bd3_2750x105.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dB1G!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29135589-b26d-46bd-9355-b69799ec3bd3_2750x105.png" width="1456" height="56" 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https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dB1G!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29135589-b26d-46bd-9355-b69799ec3bd3_2750x105.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dB1G!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29135589-b26d-46bd-9355-b69799ec3bd3_2750x105.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dB1G!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29135589-b26d-46bd-9355-b69799ec3bd3_2750x105.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><strong>sampleuser1: </strong>didn&#8217;t know what to do with my hands&#8230; I was too busy touching my first M</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg" width="1456" height="2198" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:2198,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1461866,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IvkF!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F348c02c2-423f-4512-a807-9501e8844487_3264x4928.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png" width="1456" height="56" 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https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wckf!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c4d01ac-d5b4-492f-8991-a8f34f029751_2750x105.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><strong>sampleuser2: </strong>heard what they was saying about me so it&#8217;s no wonder I&#8217;m fresh to deaf</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!nML_!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ea8860e-a689-4ac1-bf7f-1e06034ff5b5_2048x1367.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!nML_!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ea8860e-a689-4ac1-bf7f-1e06034ff5b5_2048x1367.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!nML_!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ea8860e-a689-4ac1-bf7f-1e06034ff5b5_2048x1367.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!nML_!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ea8860e-a689-4ac1-bf7f-1e06034ff5b5_2048x1367.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!nML_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ea8860e-a689-4ac1-bf7f-1e06034ff5b5_2048x1367.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!nML_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ea8860e-a689-4ac1-bf7f-1e06034ff5b5_2048x1367.jpeg" width="1456" height="972" 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https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Hk-e!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5213272-ca9e-48e7-9a12-4ac886b81775_2750x105.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Hk-e!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5213272-ca9e-48e7-9a12-4ac886b81775_2750x105.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Hk-e!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5213272-ca9e-48e7-9a12-4ac886b81775_2750x105.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><strong>sampleuser3:</strong> been a long time, shouldt&#8217;na left you&#8230; without a dope feed to scroll thru</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lN6H!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4240b00c-a664-4ee4-993a-81060025d230_3936x2624.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lN6H!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4240b00c-a664-4ee4-993a-81060025d230_3936x2624.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lN6H!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4240b00c-a664-4ee4-993a-81060025d230_3936x2624.jpeg 848w, 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stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png 848w, 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data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:56,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:15576,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_lgh!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F89cb4b86-948a-4fc5-a8e4-fb4a37c3d8d4_2750x105.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><strong>sampleuser4: </strong>my heart can&#8217;t touch what my eyes can&#8217;t see&#8230; and that&#8217;s no shade to you</p><div class="pullquote"><p>Rid yourself of the big, bad Caption Anxiety today! <strong>1-800-CALL-CAP</strong></p></div><h6><em>Note: we don&#8217;t draft captions for non-personal photography. Wildlife, landscapes, etc. We&#8217;re not sure why you would even post actual photography on instagram anymore, but for the sake of argument we just don&#8217;t have the tools to accommodate it. A tip from our staff: just put the date and the location and post it</em></h6><p><br></p><h4><strong>TESTIMONIALS:</strong></h4><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;I had spent so much time thinking about my fit, and the whole night I was plotting on couple backdrops where I could take the photo. But by that time I was too exhausted to think of what to say. I talked to Eleanor at Cuztom and she hooked me up. 5 stars!!&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; Jeff</p><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;I was considering doing a caption-less dump (just an emoji) so that I had less to explain about me being MIA on IG for so long but I saw the ad and said Why Not!! You know that saying &#8220;a pic is worth 1000 words&#8221; well that&#8217;s too much for me to write lol. and w/ 10 pics that&#8217;s 10,000 words omg. But Cuztom assured me that at least the words wouldn&#8217;t be anyone else&#8217;s! I decided against the emoji and am so happy with my brand new caption.&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; Amber</p><h6><em>Disclaimer: we do help with photo dumps on occasion, but we ask that you limit your inquiries to Photo Elimination/Curation and single captions. We don&#8217;t draft multiple captions that try to speak to multiple photos. It goes against our principles.</em></h6><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;Gone are the days of me combing twitter at the last minute for timely phrases. Now I just go straight to Devon at Cuztom Captions (I think I spelled his name right, our conversations have all been over the phone!) and he knows exactly what I&#8217;m going for.&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; Carlton</p><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;Shit Got Me Right ! Evry1 Was LUvving it !&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; (did not leave name)</p><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;I got less likes on it than a previous picture, so I&#8217;ll have to see what happens in the future. But I just really liked talking to Jeremy. He asked so many good questions and it was only when I got off the call I realized we had been talking for an hour. Ngl we had great chemistry lol. Hey Jeremy&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; Diamond</p><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;Da hardest thing for a real N***a da do is pick a nice caption! Shout Out Customz&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; Cheeze76</p><div><hr></div><p><em>&#8220;The process is really long, and I didn&#8217;t expect that. I was unpacking things about my life that I hadn&#8217;t expected just by talking to&#8230; Jeremy, I think was his name? I live somewhat isolated in a small town where I rarely get to share those things, and posting is usually how I do it. But in the end, I actually decided against posting the picture. In fact, I realized how important the work that Cuztom is doing, so I&#8217;m applying for a job there first thing tomorrow.&#8221;</em></p><p>&#8212; Sergio</p><div class="pullquote"><p>Call us today! <strong>1-800-CALL-CAP</strong></p></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0uJE!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F62708f37-7620-4935-8642-a3dd8698f7cf_6016x4016.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0uJE!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F62708f37-7620-4935-8642-a3dd8698f7cf_6016x4016.jpeg 424w, 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stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption"><em>Note: We&#8217;re located in the equipment closet in the basement of the Errorbrook Mall on Vaultine Ave, but please, please, <strong>please</strong> don&#8217;t visit us in person. There&#8217;s barely even space for our employees as is. (Which BTW, still doesn&#8217;t give them a right to complain as much as they do.) This is a <strong>remote</strong> service only. Thank you for understanding.</em></figcaption></figure></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:682436,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YmCW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e2418b6-5351-4bce-9ffc-bd5c35125d34_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Smh if I had a dollar for every time y'all mentioned Lebron's age...]]></title><description><![CDATA[&#8230; I&#8217;d prolly have somewhere around $38,387. That&#8217;s how much y&#8217;all talk about that shit lol.]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/smh-if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/smh-if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 03 Feb 2023 21:55:10 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg" width="1456" height="982" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:982,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:410713,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FEBQ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff5ae4c1c-cffe-4a25-8348-1025c4e9d2cf_2560x1727.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>&#8230; I&#8217;d prolly have somewhere around <em><strong>$38,387</strong></em>.</p><p>That&#8217;s how much y&#8217;all talk about that shit lol.</p><p>But, <em>coincidentally</em>&#8230; that&#8217;s the same number as the amount of points that Lebron needs to match Kareem Abdul-Jabbar&#8217;s record as the NBA&#8217;s all-time regular season scoring leader. As of this moment, he&#8217;s within 100 points of that mark.</p><p>Which is remarkable when you think about it. That he&#8217;s still scoring like this?</p><p>At his grown age??</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;868abba8-d8ed-47ce-bd64-f2c091bf8e1e&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:1.619,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p>Ok, there we go. </p><p>So now that&#8217;s:</p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>$38,388</strong></em>. </p></div><p>We&#8217;ve surpassed Kareem now, in age mentions. That&#8217;s a lot of money, yo. You could change lives with that kind of money.</p><p>Now we can <em>finally</em> stop talking about it.</p><p>&#8230;</p><p>Wait, hold on. </p><p>38,388??</p><p>Three, Eight&#8230; Three, Eight, Eight. </p><p>Whoa.</p><p>Did you <em>know</em> that Lebron James is 38 years old right now? Still hooping like he is? Bro, it&#8217;s crazy. No one should be putting up stats like this at that age!</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;9bcdb669-d831-4395-9ac9-694e36eba022&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:1.619,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>$38,389.</strong></em></p></div><p>Yessir.</p><p>So hold up, hold up. Real quick. The counter only goes up by one if his age gets mentioned, right? So that&#8217;s like a free throw then.</p><p>What if somebody talks about how Lebron&#8217;s been doing this for 20-plus years instead? That&#8217;s a little different. </p><p>Would that count that as 2 points? Like a layup in transition? Off a hard-left-hand-dribble spin move?</p><p>You know Lebron is really good at those, right?</p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>&#8230;</strong></em></p></div><p>Because guess what: it&#8217;s not just that Lebron is doing what he&#8217;s doing at such an old age&#8230; it&#8217;s that he&#8217;s been THIS good for THIS long, bro. </p><p>Think about that shit. 20+ years. The longevity is out of this world.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;e69ebbd6-1477-4b45-876e-6bbbeadf6944&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:2.586,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>$38,391.</strong></em></p></div><p>Thank you! That&#8217;s what I&#8217;m talking about. I&#8217;m really a bucket out here.</p><p>Okay, okay. My fault. </p><p>But like I was saying. We really don&#8217;t need to talk about it anymore. All y&#8217;all do is glaze my man all day, talking about his age and shit. Like, we get it. Give it a rest&#8230;</p><p>&#8230;</p><p>Unlike Lebron. Who never needs rest.</p><p>He&#8217;s still averaging a near 30 point triple double&#8230; at 38 years old.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;09871ae5-5316-4f0a-804e-727cdff63935&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:1.619,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>$38,392.</strong></em></p></div><p>Mmmhmmm! That&#8217;s right.</p><p>Truthfully, y&#8217;all should be inspired by me, I&#8217;ma be putting this money to good use. With this bread I can make a lane for myself, and pay off some bills.</p><p>Unlike y&#8217;all, who just talk about this man for free. And you don&#8217;t even know him like that. </p><p>Like, so what. You&#8217;ve been following him for a long time. You not the only one.  Lemme guess, you&#8217;ve been a die hard fan of his since the man was 18 years old? Since he had that little ass fro, with the green headband, on the cover of Sports Illustrated?</p><p>How even long ago was that?</p><p>So that&#8217;s ummm: 18 years old&#8230; that was what like, 2003? Oh, damn. </p><p>That was 20 years ago! And you gotta remember, it&#8217;s been 20 years of high-level, dominant, game-changing basketball.</p><p>Wild, bro.</p><p>Which also means&#8230; that if he was 18&#8230; and you add 20 years of excellence&#8230;</p><p>Oh damn, that&#8217;s right. He&#8217;s 38! </p><p>That&#8217;s crazy fr.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;00d25abb-ae25-49ad-a289-d33c49893f6b&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:3.996,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>$38,394&#8230;</strong></em></p><p><em>&#8230;<strong>$38,395.</strong></em></p></div><p>And oneeeee!! Gimme that. </p><p>Count &#8216;em up.</p><p>Listen, don&#8217;t hate the player, hate the game. I&#8217;m pulling up Ticketmaster right now, bout to go get me some courtside tickets to see Bron play. If you wanna mention his age and not get paid for it, that&#8217;s on you. But me, what else am I supposed to do? </p><p>I&#8217;m a go getter. </p><p>Just like Bron-bron, you feeeel me.</p><p>Who, by the way, is 38 years old and about to break the ALL-TIME scoring record, if you didn&#8217;t already know.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;d57f63c8-f2c4-4927-bdd8-4310b5f5813d&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:0.496,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p>$&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;</p></div><p>Wait, hold up. </p><p>What that mean?</p><p>I said&#8230; </p><p>Lebron is 38 years old.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;2bc60e79-968f-4094-a8b8-6ec01950a8f0&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:0.496,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p>ERROR: Insufficient funds.</p></div><p>What&#8217;s going on?</p><p>Stop playing with me. </p><p>I said Lebron is 38 fuckin years old, bro. Did you hear me?</p><p>Three. Eight. Thirty-Eight.</p><p>YEARS.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;3abe5446-5be0-49c9-a7db-d46a6ce2d009&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:0.496,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p>PLEASE HOLD: reporting recent activity for fraudulence</p></div><p>Nah nah nah hold up.</p><p>Fraud??</p><p>Ummmmm&#8230;</p><p>This is some bullshit. Fuck outta here. I&#8217;m doing the same shit y&#8217;all be doing!</p><p>I told y&#8217;all what it was!! What else is &#8220;If I had a dollar&#8221; supposed to mean?</p><p>&#8230;</p><p>Look, look. </p><p>I&#8217;m not even gonna say it no more. Just lemme get the money that I earned from talking about it myself.</p><p>Y&#8217;all can have the rest.</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;a22c526b-a78f-4e63-9ae5-4dae0ce983a0&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:0.496,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p>FRAUDULENCE DETECTED</p></div><p>Man, fuck.</p><p>Aight, aight. Chill. </p><p>Chill.</p><p>Guess what? Nobody said anything about Lebron for real. I was just joking.</p><p>This whole thing is just a game. Like, an experiment.</p><div class="pullquote"><p>&#8230;</p></div><p>Psh, why do I even care about Lebron&#8217;s age like that? He&#8217;s been good no matter what age he is, right?? Like, we don&#8217;t even need to mention it. And if we do, it&#8217;s whatever, no harm done. </p><p>Let&#8217;s just cool out.</p><p>Right?</p><p>Age ain&#8217;t nothing but a number&#8230; right? </p><p>Actually. You know what, I take that one back.</p><p>But!</p><p>I should be talking about his off-court accomplishments, in fact. His philanthropy. Exactly. I can talk about that. </p><p>Because he <strong>been</strong> doing that stuff. </p><p>I mean, he&#8217;s also a dad. He gonna be one of those forever, right?</p><p>He&#8217;s also a businessman. An actor. All kinds of stuff.</p><p>It&#8217;s so much to talk about with him. Stuff that don&#8217;t got nothing to do with his age.</p><p>You know?</p><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;fea452bc-37ef-4349-ac46-4bc545c658ea&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:0.496,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p>Overdue Balance: Please Pay Now</p></div><p>Man, fuck this shit. </p><p>Fuck you and Lebron.</p><p>I ain&#8217;t paying nothing.</p><p>I don&#8217;t need this. I&#8217;m leaving.</p><p>BYE.</p><p>Old ass n*gga.</p><h6><em>[session terminated]</em></h6><div class="pullquote"><p>&#8230;</p></div><div class="native-audio-embed" data-component-name="AudioPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;label&quot;:null,&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;587179e0-d6b7-4c52-b9f3-1b2dea6a47dd&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:1.619,&quot;downloadable&quot;:false,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><div class="pullquote"><p>:-)</p></div><p></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[A.I. Allen Iverson (2001)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Directed by Stephon Spillburgh]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/ai-allen-iverson-2001-directed-by</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/ai-allen-iverson-2001-directed-by</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 25 Jan 2023 22:15:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png" width="1456" height="775" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:775,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:2651994,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Ofpm!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F189dd91f-5b77-495f-8154-cb671221df82_5820x3098.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>INT. HIGH RISE APARTMENT - NIGHT</p><p>The patter of rain beats against a large glass window. </p><p>It&#8217;s a wet evening in the shopping district of a futuristic metropolis. Through the glass, we tilt down to see a NEAR BIRD&#8217;S EYE view of an intersection below. The bag-carrying patrons darting across the intersection look like ants from this height.</p><p>A child-sounding voice on this side of the glass speaks with a low, vibrational tone.</p><p>&#9;CHILD VOICE (O.S.)<br>&#9;Too small.</p><p>It is revealed to be coming from a young black boy, no more than 11, naked in his expression, looking down through the glass. His head is pressed against the glass, looking down. A motherly, reassuring voice responds from off screen.</p><p>&#9;WOMAN VOICE (O.S.)<br>&#9;What is it, bubba?</p><p>&#9;BUBBA (THE BOY)<br>&#9;They&#8217;re too small from here. All of them down there, it&#8217;s impossible to know if they&#8217;re really human, right? I can&#8217;t understand why they buy what they buy, or what keeps them going in the rain. What are they thinking? I am stuck up here left to ponder if they even exist.</p><p>&#9;WOMAN VOICE (O.S.)<br>&#9;Honey, that&#8217;s not how that works. The shopping district has people in it. They are there and they&#8217;re real.</p><p>We pull back and see Bubba&#8217;s mother, ANN, in her early 30s, braids down to her elbows, sitting at a tiny kitchen table in the modest high-rise apartment housing. She sips tea. The apartment is sparing in amenities: we see only the circular dining table fit for 3 people max, a tiny kitchenette, a loveseat, and the big window pane which Bubba stands in front of. His head is still pressed against the glass.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;I guess you could be right, logistically. But philosophically, is what I&#8217;m saying. How do we really know, mama? We never get to leave this place. What is so <em>real</em> about them, those tiny &#8220;things&#8221; below? We can&#8217;t even see them.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;What do you see then, Bubba?</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;I see patterns. Large crowds. I just see movement. They all go from the north end to the south end but never the other direction. Why is that? Also. I counted, and the stoplight is on a 30 second cycle. And I see about, on average, 2 shopping bags per person. </p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;So they out there spending cash then. That&#8217;s what&#8217;s real people do, Bubba.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Why don&#8217;t we ever go down there then? Why don&#8217;t we spend cash? They must not think we&#8217;re real if we don&#8217;t do that.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Stop it. I don&#8217;t care what they think. You don&#8217;t need to worry about any of that, Bubba. What&#8217;s real is I really need you to come sit down over here.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;How can you just say that though, mama. Look, there are so many of them. If they&#8217;re real, they must think <em>something</em>.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Bubba, come over here. Why don&#8217;t you turn on the Tele instead of doing all this worrying?</p><p>Bubba turns away from the glass and sits at the table by his mother. She puts her hand over a large, spherical MARBLE wedged in the center of the table and presses down. The floor to ceiling glass window ceases to be a membrane through which to see the outer world. It turns ON, just like a TV and a local news program fills the entire glass surface.</p><p>Ann &#8220;rolls&#8221; the marble&#8212;as if it&#8217;s a tiny, stationary bowling ball&#8212;and the window TV scrolls through to other channels. We get glimpses of a few choice things: a hip-hop music video channel titled &#8220;The Love Below&#8221; on which a group of humanoid robots in a stairwell are rapping into the camera &#8594; A TCM-like channel playing Disney&#8217;s Pinocchio from 1941 &#8594; a serene nature channel good for only ambient sounds and still visuals &#8594; a reality show featuring humanoid robots arguing in front of a beach fire pit &#8594; and a catchy, animated ad for MISCORP: &#8220;Mecha Insurance Solutions&#8221; &#8594; and&#8230;</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;A&#8217;ight. Here we go.</p><p>She stops the rotating bowling ball-like marble. It&#8217;s landed on a playoff basketball game featuring the Cicalligo Bulls and the Bostyne Celtics. The intensity is high. Bubba and Ann watch on as robots with uncanny human features&#8212;similar to the ones we&#8217;ve seen on other TV programs&#8212;run up and down the court exchanging baskets. <strong>To note: In this world, humanoid robots are known as &#8220;Mecha&#8221;, and they exist in every facet of life and and especially entertainment.</strong> </p><p>One of the Mecha for the Bulls, a slender, bald figure wearing a flashy pair of black and red sneakers, goes up for a layup, gets hit on the wrist and comes crashing down. No whistle. Ann launches out of her seat to dispute.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Hey!! That was a foul and a half!</p><p>Bubba looks on lovingly. He sees she&#8217;s adamant about this.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;They can&#8217;t do that to him. He&#8217;s too good to not get those calls.</p><p>She sits back down, frustrated, but the entire time Bubba has not taken his eyes off of Ann. He loves to watch her watch.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;(instigating)<br>&#9;What&#8217;s wrong, mama?</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Referees, honey. They gonna know how I feel about the game. They can&#8217;t attack my fave like that and get away with it.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;But that&#8217;s what I&#8217;m saying, mama. You&#8217;re so far from the game, how do you know you&#8217;re right? The ref saw it up close.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Boy, don&#8217;t play with me. I been watching this game since before you got here. I know what I&#8217;m talking about. And THAT was a missed call.</p><p>Bubba smiles to himself.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Well, I can&#8217;t argue with that. I love you, mama.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;I love you, too.</p><div><hr></div><p>LATER</p><p>The buzzer sounds and the Bostyne Celtics have won the game. Bright yellow text of the FINAL SCORE lingers on the large glass window pane: <em>Bostyne 122 - Cicalligo 104</em>. Over low frame-rate clips of highlights from the game, a stately voice guides:</p><p>&#9;ANNOUNCER (V.O.)<br>&#9;Valiant effort from the young Cicalligo Bulls, but it just wasn&#8217;t enough as the Celtics have won the series 3 games to nothing. Jordan, not his usual self today, didn&#8217;t have enough to stave off the sweep. I&#8217;m sure we&#8217;ll be hearing from them in years to come, but for now the Celtics move closer to their championship goals.</p><p>Ann hovers her hand over the spherical table remote and the Tele image on the window dissipates. Outside, it&#8217;s still raining.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Alright, bubba. It&#8217;s time to go to bed.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Yes, mama. I&#8217;ll handle it.</p><p>Bubba goes to the wall next to the window, presses a button and the whole wall unlatches gracefully, revealing a small pull-down bed. It falls down length-wise right in front of where the big window is. Ann presses her own button on the side of the loveseat and it folds out, revealing her bed.</p><p>Bubba, laying in bed, looks out the glass window as rain continues to pitter-patter against it. He touches the cold glass with an outstretched hand. He turns to Ann, opening his mouth to ask another question but she is not there, she is off in the bathroom fixing herself. Through a slight crack in the door, Bubba can see her putting her hair in a cap. Then, she brushes her teeth.</p><p>He checks his own teeth for food chunks, finds nothing, and then looks down at his own hands, turns them about. They are brown-skinned, of medium complexion. IN BUBBA&#8217;S POV: he flexes his finger joints and we hear a slight &#8220;whirring&#8221; sound. </p><p>It is abundantly clear to us at this moment: Bubba is Mecha. He looks back forth to his hands and to his mother through the crack in the door. His usual expressionless countenance turns sour.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;(competing with the faucet)<br>&#9;Mama! What are you doing in there?</p><p>Ann catches Bubba&#8217;s stare, THROUGH THE CRACKED DOOR, and off the reflection in the mirror. She makes eye contact.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;What does it look like I&#8217;m doing? Getting ready for bed.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;(still shouting)<br>&#9;How come I never get ready for bed, mama?</p><p>The faucet stops running.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;You not sleepy, honey? Time to go to sleep, a&#8217;ight?</p><p>Bubba wants to get his hands out of his sight, so he crosses his arms in impatience.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Mama, I said how come I never get ready for bed.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;You just did. You made your bed and you got in it.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;But how come I don&#8217;t brush my teeth or do any of the stuff you do?</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Listen you had all these questions earlier, and those were good ones. Now you just asking questions you know the answer to to be hard-headed. You&#8217;re tired, that&#8217;s all.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Mama.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Time for bed. Let&#8217;s go.</p><p>Ann waves her hand over a wall panel in the corner and all the ceiling lights dim. Both laying in bed, there&#8217;s silence for awhile, aside from rain patter.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Mama?</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Yes.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Why do I have so many questions?</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;I don&#8217;t know Bubba. Maybe because you&#8217;re a really smart boy. Smart boys ask questions. But that don&#8217;t mean you deserve as many answers. Sometimes, answers don&#8217;t help anything. <br>&#9;Sometimes, there are no answers. </p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Why?</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Bubba.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Okay. This isn&#8217;t a question, but. Sometimes it just feels like I don&#8217;t even want the answer. I might even know the answer. But I like asking questions, mama.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;I understand, Bubba. I like that about you. That&#8217;s how you&#8217;ve always been. You have your own answers. Nobody can take that from you. <br>&#9;Lord knows you&#8217;ve helped me with more of my own questions than I can &#9;count. How to work this, how to fix that. How to add these two numbers together. You a damn answer factory.</p><p>Bubba chuckles.</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Oh, mama.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;Let&#8217;s go to sleep, now. a&#8217;ight, Mr. Answer?</p><p>&#9;BUBBA<br>&#9;Yes, mama.</p><p>&#9;ANN<br>&#9;There you go. That&#8217;s the only answer you really need.</p><p>Bubba smiles.</p><p>Before long, they both doze off. And before long, the rain subsides. We move to the moon in a now clear sky overhead, blanketing the metropolis in a hazy white light.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:522906,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!co8e!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3de1579-ce68-482d-ba81-79560e953f52_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading yanville, after curfew! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[An exclusive interview with Wide Leg Pant]]></title><description><![CDATA[By Beauxmond Brigsby]]></description><link>https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/an-exclusive-interview-with-wide-leg-pant-1f49d3973a9b</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://yanvilleaftercurfew.blog/p/an-exclusive-interview-with-wide-leg-pant-1f49d3973a9b</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bryan g. stevenson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 10 Jan 2023 22:43:40 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4></h4><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg" width="1024" height="709" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:709,&quot;width&quot;:1024,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OwdZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe17aa947-18ef-43ed-98f9-3c76c22d6169_1024x709.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><em>I caught up with the enigmatic, soon-to-be mogul on a sunny afternoon at a sandwich shop in Goldpond and discussed a wide variety of topics including how the world has changed after his &#8220;hiatus&#8221;, the future of fashion, and his goals for 2023. The original version of this interview was published in the January issue of Trendsettia Magazine. Parts have been condensed for&nbsp;clarity.</em></p><p><strong>BB:</strong> I noticed the waiter looked surprised when you asked for no sauce. You didn&#8217;t even want it on the side. Is that a new thing for&nbsp;you?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> It is. They all know me here, and I usually ask them to bring tubs of that shit. It&#8217;s a special house mix. But I&#8217;m trying to form a new relationship with excess. I&#8217;m told this year is going to be a big one for me. There will be big swings, so I&#8217;m trying to learn to love things without the extras attached.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> You made me second guess my choice to keep it on&nbsp;there.</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> It&#8217;s your first time, so you gotta try it. It&#8217;s some good shit. And first time&#8217;s are&nbsp;sacred.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Career-wise, it&#8217;s hardly <em>your</em> first time in the position you&#8217;re in. I think I&#8217;m going to come out and ask the question we&#8217;re all dying to&nbsp;know.</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Yeah, what&#8217;s&nbsp;that?</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> What do you say to people who doubted you&#8217;d ever return to this position?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> I know everyone wants me to come out and have some big declaration. Like, &#8216;fuck all y&#8217;all I&#8217;m coming back for what&#8217;s mine.&#8217; But, I just don&#8217;t have it. There were hard times, for sure. I thought we weren&#8217;t going to make it back. But I&#8217;m glad people can recognize what I offer in this moment. I&#8217;m just going to keep going. Keep offering.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> I have to admit, I didn&#8217;t see your return happening the way it has. I was one of your doubters.</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> That&#8217;s how it goes. Can&#8217;t really blame you. I&#8217;ve had plenty of time to let all that shit&nbsp;go.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Is there anything you would do different?</p><p><strong>WLP: </strong>I think around that time I kept getting lumped in with the term &#8216;Baggy&#8217; and that contributed to so much of the image I ended up having. It was easy for me to seem unclean and unprofessional because of that word&#8230; &#8220;baggy&#8221;. I think I would have learned more about branding and&#8202;&#8212;&#8202;you know what. Nah, there&#8217;s nothing I would&nbsp;change.</p><p><em>(At this moment, he stops his meal and looks off in the distance. I could tell he had more to say about the question.)</em></p><p>And you know, obviously hip-hop culture made me who I am. But the truth no one talks about is that at the time&#8202;&#8212; that post-Y2K time&#8212; the Wide Leg brand was universal. People in office were utilizing the cut on national TV. Corporate America had full belief in us. Dads all over the country were just used to the idea. Incorporating me was a seamless idea for most folks back then. But everything is cyclical, so of course I&#8217;m back now and the young people are embracing me&nbsp;again.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> That feels like that thing they say in design where &#8220;good design is invisible&#8221;. Everybody was embracing you, and utilizing your brand, but they weren&#8217;t acknowledging who was responsible. Gift and the curse. That&#8217;s so different than now, when if something is hot you <strong>will</strong> get the credit, but maybe to your detriment. Is it easier to deal with that notoriety now?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> (Laughs) I mean, even today people still don&#8217;t know I&#8217;m the same guy from their parents&#8217;&nbsp;era.</p><p>But shout out to blue collar folks. The outdoor sports folks, too. Even though they aren&#8217;t the biggest placement and don&#8217;t have a ton of influence, those industries&#8202;&#8212;&#8202;industries like construction, catering, and postal workers were rocking with me even through the down years. Dickie is still one of my good friends to this&nbsp;day.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> But even he started going in the other direction.</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Yeah. But the game is the game. You gotta adapt. Me and him still stayed close to the point where I didn&#8217;t feel it was just on some industry&nbsp;shit.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> What did you do during the down&nbsp;years?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Started a family, learned some new languages. I mean, I was still working. Projects with more niche collaborators. But I was focusing on the simple&nbsp;things.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> I wanna go back to something you said before. Which is that you had time to think about what all this means for you. Do you have any big picture thoughts about where the shift started? Why it happened?</p><p><em>(Nearby where we&#8217;re sitting, there&#8217;s a newsstand. At this moment, WLP put down his fork and pointed at one of the tabloid magazines. On the cover was Sensay Mathesin, one of the biggest rappers in the world, crossing the street in a fashion-forward outfit.)</em></p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Yeah. That guy. It&#8217;s really that&nbsp;simple.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Care to elaborate?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> I mean, we all know of his musical influence. But I think everything shifted when he made it cool to appear proper. And then Taper came along under that wave. Tape is a cool dude, and I respect him. We&#8217;ve only had a few interactions, and every time it was cordial. But when you get a co-sign from one of the biggest artists in the world, it moves timelines around.</p><p>Tape&#8217;s run opened the door for dudes like Cuff. Then eventually you get guys like Jogg, Track, &amp; Lounj. All guys that came from the Skin-E camp. All the while, Levi was doing his thing with the 501 movement. Then the big houses get involved, and you start seeing collectives like Techpack have their fun,&nbsp;too.</p><p>And then the trickle down effect is too much to stop. The rest is&nbsp;history.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> You&#8217;re spot on. But that&#8217;s funny. What does it feel like to have that same artist co-sign you so many years later? That&#8217;s gotta feel good,&nbsp;right?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> It is what it is. The behind closed doors-ness of it all makes most of these things seem like it was some huge Come-to-God moment. But he liked what I offered and I gave him what I gave him. I don&#8217;t really know if there&#8217;s much else to say. He&#8217;s got a pretty deep fixation on the future, and I think he thinks I fit into those plans, but I&#8217;m just trying to stay here in the&nbsp;moment.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Well, then. If you won&#8217;t indulge in some extra sauce, indulge me a bit elsewhere. What&#8217;s the future hold for&nbsp;you?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Oh&nbsp;gosh.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> I mean it in terms of the big picture. I can sense you don&#8217;t have an attachment to the spotlight anymore. You are as laid back as they come. But you also seem to know exactly how and why your run ended last time. Do you care to stay put this time or are you okay fading away&nbsp;again?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Well. Fame is fame. It&#8217;s going to come and it&#8217;s going to go. I should know that better than anybody. But there&#8217;s only so many ways you can act in the spotlight. I had the spotlight at a time when it wasn&#8217;t cool to have the spotlight. It was when I was outside of the spotlight, where I realized you can act however. There&#8217;s a freedom that I&#8217;m glad I got to experience. So I&#8217;m just going to keep honoring that freedom if people will have me in this current&nbsp;moment.</p><p>(Laughs) I guess that&#8217;s a longwinded way of saying &#8220;I&#8217;m just gonna be&nbsp;me&#8221;.</p><p><strong>BB: </strong>Is that self-branding part of the business plan&nbsp;now?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> In some ways. But it&#8217;s really just the life plan. In embracing myself, I think I can embrace what I offer. And it&#8217;s silly to say, but what I offer is room to grow. Room to make mistakes. I&#8217;m a guy who wants to take it easy most of the time. Who knows how difficult work can be on somebody. So what I offer is more room&#8230; for myself and&#8202;&#8212;&#8202;yeah&#8202;&#8212;&#8202;I guess the brand, too. More room around those&nbsp;ankles.</p><p>And I&#8217;ll add: I think we&#8217;re in a time where people just want to open it up. You should be able to do that. You shouldn&#8217;t have to get it right on the first try. You should want the open comfort and the most fabric to get you from one place to the next. It&#8217;s hard enough getting up some&nbsp;days.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> I think that&#8217;s exactly why the culture is gravitating towards you now. In all my research, that seems to be why everyone wants to work with you in this&nbsp;moment.</p><p><strong>WLP</strong>: So yeah. If that&#8217;s my mark on the world, well I&#8217;m glad I was consistent. I helped two generations feel like they didn&#8217;t have to be too buttoned&nbsp;up.</p><p><em>(Shortly after this, a butterfly landed on the edge of our small table. We sat in silence for a beat as WLP took a long moment to watch the butterfly&#8217;s wing movement.)</em></p><p><strong>BB:</strong> This sauce! You weren&#8217;t&nbsp;lying.</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> It&#8217;s good,&nbsp;right?</p><p><strong>BB: </strong>Phenomenal<strong>. </strong>Okay, so I&#8217;ve been struggling with a title for this interview. But now that I&#8217;ve talked to you, I&#8217;m curious what you think. I&#8217;m gonna throw some options at you, if that&#8217;s&nbsp;okay.</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Sure thing. Hit&nbsp;me.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> &#8220;The Open Expanse: The Enduring Cool of&nbsp;WLP.&#8221;</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Eh. Not bad, but a bit&nbsp;much.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> &#8220;Don&#8217;t Hate the Tailor, Hate the&nbsp;Game&#8221;</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Catchy and effective. I&#8217;m not mad at&nbsp;it.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> &#8220;Relax&#8217;d Fit: WLP&#8217;s Comeback&nbsp;Season&#8221;</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Sure,&nbsp;sure.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Okay, and here&#8217;s the last one: &#8220;Return Of The&nbsp;Mack&#8221;</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Also very&nbsp;catchy.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Well?</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> I think you should go with your gut. It&#8217;s your interview.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> You&#8217;re not gonna help me&nbsp;pick??</p><p><strong>WLP:</strong> Oh, no. I can&#8217;t. I trust you to make the right choice. I&#8217;m just happy to be involved.</p><p><strong>BB:</strong> Well, that settles it, Ladies and Gentleman. That&#8217;s WLP&#8217;s way of telling me nicely that I&#8217;m doing too damn&nbsp;much.</p><p><strong>WLP: (</strong>Laughs) I think you&#8217;ll figure it&nbsp;out.</p><p><em>Got an appetite for the scoop? Subscribe to Trendsettia Mag today so you can tune in next month when we unveil our other exclusive interview with Critical Thinking Portion Of Test. She&#8217;s got a lot of thoughts about why she&#8217;s ripe for this moment, and how everyone who overlooked her will regret that&nbsp;choice.</em></p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png" width="1456" height="72" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:72,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:474714,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BOXb!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa30076bf-159f-4f3d-83ff-080bfad0141b_15844x780.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>